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Popular (1999)
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The Phantom Menace (1)
It's the first day of classes at Kennedy High. We meet Sam McPherson, a unpopular girl, and her friends, Harrison, Lily and Carmen. And the popular ones: Brooke McQueen, the head cheerleader, Nicole Julian, the Devil impersonated, Josh Ford, Brooke's boyfriend and captain of the school football team, Mary Cherry, and Sugar Daddy. These groups hate each other. But unfortunately, Brooke is assigned to be Sam's lab partner in biology. Carmen tries out for the cheerleading squad. Sam tries to help her with the cover story on the school paper about popularity, but instead she ends up trying to get invited to Sam and Nicole's party, which will define who's hot and who's not. Josh decides to be on the school play, and that becomes an issue because Brooke doesn't want to date a drama geek. Carmen doesn't make the squad, because she is too fat to be a cheerleader.
Mo' Menace, Mo' Problems (2)
Josh decides to get in the play. Brooke feels guilty about shutting Carmen out of the cheerleading squad. She and Nicole are treated like monsters by the entire school. Sam gets invited to their party, and Harrison, who has a crush on Brooke, tells her that she sold herself. Brooke meets Carmen and they share feelings. Brooke tells her that she was the best dancer, but only too fat to get in the squad. Sam decides that her friends are important too, and so they go to the party, uninvited. Brooke and Sam are having a huge argument when their parents arrive, with the news: they're getting married.
Under Siege
Josh is pressured to quit the play, so Mr. Vincent gets back at coach Peritti by giving Sam the sports budget. The scandal is set and the Glamazons are the first ones to be axed. Brooke tries to convince Josh on quitting the play and they have another fight. Nicole tells Principal Hall that Sam and Mr. Grant are having an affair, and he can't prove wrong. Lily refuses to dissect a frog and Ms. Glass makes her walk around carrying the dead frog. The McQueen-McPherson family dinner is a disaster and Brooke slaps Sam. But they realize that their parents are really in love.
Windstruck
In the play rehearsal, Sam has to sit in Josh's lap, and he has an erection. Sam tells Carmen about it and she accidentally sends emails to the whole school about it. Rumors spread through the entire school, and the big secret comes out: Brooke and Josh are still virgins! Meanwhile, Lily has to face her new job at a fast food chicken shack. Josh seeks for advice in Sam, and a drunk Brooke asks Harrison for help.
Slumber Party Massacre
Carmen throws a slumber party for her sweet 16. The popular girls get it, just so Nicole can hit on Carmen's hot older brother, and Brooke can finally do it with Josh. Harrison tries to stop it, but he messes everything up and they end up together. Nicole realizes that Leo is more interested in Sam, and punishes Carmen by hypnotizing her into a chicken. Sam walks in her mother and Brooke's father doing it. Carmen humiliates herself in front of everybody, but ends up ditching the popular girls and hanging out just with her real friends.
Truth or Consequences
Nicole and Mary Cherry steal the bio midterm. The popular kids ace the test, and the unpopular ones get in big trouble when their grades are not so good. Sam overhears Nicole and Brooke's talking in the bathroom. In an operation to prove that the popular gang cheated, Harrison becomes friend with Josh and Sugar. But he gets a little carried away and walks out on the middle of the operation. Sam publishes the story. It all ends up in a big food fight, headed by Brooke and Sam. To make things better for the girls, their parents decide to move in together. Sam and Brooke have to share a bathroom. That can't end well...
Queen B.
It's homecoming time. Being the homecoming queen means being the most popular girl in school. The war is set. Nicole is out, because she cheated on the bio test, but she's still the Homecoming Court Chairman. She makes plans so only the cheerleaders and Carmen compete. Mary Cherry and Poppy are pressured to support Brooke. Mary Cherry's mom, the beauty pageant winner Cherry Cherry leads her daughter's campaign. A hideous picture of Brooke in the morning is hanging all over the school. Brooke says Sam did it, because she was the only one that could have that picture. But Sam didn't do it, Mary Cherry did. Brooke still gets elected the Homecoming Queen, proving her popularity. Quotes: April: "May, what are you eating?" May: "Dirt."
Tonight's the Night
A new hot song shakes things up in Kennedy High. Carmen and Sugar Daddy meet on the Internet, but they both lie about their looks, so they both get disappointed. Harrison and Lily try to have sex, because they think it should be with someone you really know, a close friend. But it never happens. Brooke and Sam bet about boyfriends: Brooke has to prove her love for Josh, and Sam has to get a boyfriend in a week. Sam convinces Carmen's hot brother Leo to pretend to be her boyfriend, and Brooke and Josh finally hook up for real.
Wild Wild Mess
The "Guest Principal" election turns the school upside down. The popular girls want Gwyneth Paltrow for it, and so they kidnap her personal shopper and torture him. The unpopular gang want George Stephanopoulos, so they look for Harrison's mom, who had an affair with him a long time ago. Sam and Brooke join forces when Brooke might be pregnant. Harrison's mom turns out to be a lesbian, and the girls think it's cool while Harrison wants her in the closet. Sam tells Josh about Brooke's situation, so he can support her, whether she wants it or not. At the end, Brooke is not pregnant and Harrison and his mom agree that he needs more time to deal with her situation.
Fall on Your Knees
It's Christmas time and everybody is happy, but Nicole. She is the Devil impersonated. All the cheerleaders accept her vote for Carmen to get in the squad after she sprains her ankle taking private dancing lessons. Bio Glass gives fruitcake and cancels the exam for everyone, but still Nic gets her fired of her new job. The ghost of Marley Jacob haunts her, along with the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. From a little pure child through Devil, we learn all about Nicole, and how she changed with the death of her anorexic friend, the death of her grandmother, and other facts. Sam and Brooke get along by throwing together a Christmas party for all their friends and family. Finally, Nicole falls on her knees and gives everyone a gift. Carmen is accepted in the cheerleading squad and the Nurse Glass gets her pussycat.
Ex, Lies and Videotape
The producer of Entertainment Today lands at Kennedy High and asks Sam and Brooke if they want to produce a segment. They both agree on doing a story about Josh. He agrees in hope to get closer to Brooke. April becomes obsessed with Carmen as a cheerleader and starts to worship her as a Goddess, and she even buys Carmen's panties from Nicole. The cheerleader squad wants Carmen to dump her unpopular friends, and she accidentally drives over April in the DMV parking lot. Back to Josh's story, his father walks out in the middle of his play, and they have a discussion. Josh's mom takes his side, risking her marriage. At the end, both Brooke and Sam agree on erasing the story so things don't get worse for Josh.
The Trial of Emory Dick
Emory Dick flunks on Biology and decides to sue the school. Once again, we see Brooke versus Sam. Sam and Lily defending Emory and Brooke is defending the school. The accusations: the popular kids get good grades for their looks, while the unpopular ones are by themselves. Sugar Daddy won't be able to be in the wrestling team because he's too fat. Carmen gets in the middle of the Brooke-Sam fight and she decides to drop out of the cheerleading team. Emory drops the charges and the case ends with no winner.
Hope in a Jar
Kennedy High goes crazy with the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Everybody gets obsessed with their looks and they run against the clock to get in shape. Josh gets in SD's sweating system to lose a few pounds and get Brooke back. Sam asks Harrison to the dance, but he chooses Brooke when she asks him, and so Sam goes with Josh for retaliation. Harrison works out too much and has a muscle breakdown and can't move. The cheerleading squad starves to lose weight and agree to make April Tuna less weird. Lily takes Emory Dick. Sam wears an inflatable bra. Carmen goes by herself and asks Josh at the dance, but he is dehydrated. And the final lesson is given by Principal Hall, who has only found true love after she lost her sight.
Caged!
Sam and Brooke are getting along, and they plan to make peace with all the girls. In the new feminine studies class, Mr. Bennet asks the girls to write down their deepest secrets and throw it out after, but Nicole takes all of them. The girls all got their period together, and so the boys decide to lock them in the bathroom so they solve their issues without destroying the school. Nicole decides to play the truth game. The six secrets are revealed: Mary Cherry used to be called quack for her deformed hands and feet; Lily had doubts about her sexuality and kissed Carmen; Brooke did it again with Josh; Sam made out with Josh too; Carmen is dating Josh; and last but not least, Nicole, who slept with Josh! Mary Cherry, in a desperate cry for attention, says she too slept with Josh, and not only that, but also with Joe and Lily! But that's a lie. So all the girls start fighting, but they realize they all should be mad at Josh, not at each other. Nicole locks Harrison and Josh in the bathroom after Brooke tells her never to speak to her again.
Booty Camp
Sam and Brooke are in charge of the school's help line. Lily wears a spicy top and the boys make comments on her. She asks the girls for help and Principal Hall sets a weekend camp to correct them. Freddy Gong calls the help line asking for help for his problem: Nicole. She is also sent to the camp, and gets the worst treatment of all, proving she is strong. At the camp, we are introduced to a new member of the Glass family: Rock Glass. One by one, all the girls are sent to the camp. Mary Cherry and Carmen were spying on the boys in the shower and Sam and Brooke get busted over a deal that Freddy makes with Nicole to screw them. Lily is busted trying to rescue Carmen during the night. Josh's parents' marriage falls apart, and his mother moves out. Brooke won't talk to Nicole, and she realizes she is alone, and decides to make new friends, starting with Freddy Gong.
All About Adam
A new mysterious student shows up at Kennedy High. He wants to be the first male cheerleader in school. So he makes friends with Brooke to get in the squad, but all the other girls don't like the idea. He convinces Brooke to try out for the new "Power Girl". Carmen (who is dating Josh) secretly sends Sam's photo to the contest, and she wins. Adam makes plans to get in, by revealing everyone's hidden past. MC's dark past back in Texas, Poppy's addiction to Hanson, and Nic's diet as a fat girl. Plus, he tries to get rid of Brooke by incriminating her as a pot smoker, so she gets suspended from the Glamazons. With Brooke out of the squad, the new Manazon is willing to take over the captain position. So, for the first time in Kennedy's High history, everybody gets together to kick him out of the picture. The Glamazons steal his wallet in a Charlie's Angels kind of way. His real name: Billy-Bob Smelt, discovered by MC's mental powers (what?). He used to live in Tupelo, Texas, where he destroyed another cheerleader's life. He reveals himself as just another unpopular guy trying to fit in. Everything is back to normal, and Brooke forgives Nic.
Lord of the Files
Calvin Krupps, the new vice-principal, arrives at Kennedy High, making all the women go crazy. Almost everybody signs in for his new tai-chi class. He turns out to be Vera Krupps, the lunch lady, nephew's. Brooke can't stop thinking about Josh, who's still going out with Carmen. Emory steals the students' progress report about H.J., who might be Harrison (it wasn't). He gets motivated by the idea of being a musician and schedules his first show for the night. Brooke tries to make Carmen miserable making up a story about a removed tattoo she made for Josh. The cheerleaders' fight over who gets to date Calvin. Mrs. Krupps is spying on the students for her nephew. Sam gets a job at a record store. Brooke gets kicked out of Tai-Chi for hitting on Josh and after that she gets a date with Calvin. Harrison's song "what is he doing with her?" fits exactly in Carmen's situation. Carmen tells Brooke she's not giving Josh up without a fight. During Harrison and Josh's fight, the guitar flies out of the class, hitting Mrs. Krupps on the head. Josh tells Carmen and Brooke that he doesn't want to be with anyone. Harrison apologizes to Carmen.
Ch-Ch-Changes
The shop teacher, Mr. Don, announces that he'll become a woman and change his name to Ms. Debbie. Robin John is depressed because her girlfriend left her and she lost her job at Rite-Worth because she's a lesbian. Harrison is the first student to support Ms. Debbie and he organizes a sitting to save her job. Cherry Cherry is the new home economics teacher, and she gives each student 1 million dollars in Cherry Cherry Inc. shares. Brooke, Carmen, Lily and Sam join Harrison. Ms. Debbie refuses to be on TV to protect her family. Robin tries to make Harrison stop. Jane and Mike argue about Ms. Debbie and if she should be fired or not. Cherry Cherry buys Rite-Worth and hires Robin back to her job. Bobbi Glass is against Ms. Debbie, who asks if she is really against herself. The other students join Harrison, and in the PTA meeting they're all there to support her, but she still gets fired. Quotes: Mary Cherry: "This is worse than Kathy Lee Gifford singing Cabaret!" Cherry Cherry: "What the hell is that? Somebody smells like old lady!" Police officer: "I'm gonna have to give you a ticket. Cherry Cherry: "And I'm gonna have to give you the finger!" Police officer: "That's it. I'm booking you! Spread up!" Cherry Cherry: "Only after a wedding proposal and a credit check!" Cherry Cherry: "Look at you. You ain't got a buzz cut and you're wearing a pesto sweater from Banana Republic. Sorry, I was looking for a lesbian! Have a nice day!"
Hard on the Outside, Soft in the Middle
Lily was going to buy a lobster to save it from being eaten, but Caesar Croutons sells it to Mary Cherry because she is blonde. Sam gets a C in her natural selection paper while Brooke gets an A because she is blonde. And Carmen is tired of being unpopular. So they dye their hair and get blonde. The popular girls make a be bet with them, saying that even brown they would still own the school. And whoever loses the bet has to get Mohawks. They dye their hair, but nobody likes it. Barbra Streisand possesses Mary Cherry. The new-blondes are getting everything that the old-blondes had. So they decide to make a disco bowling challenge, with the lobster as the trophy. A new foreign exchange student arrives at Kennedy High, and she turns Josh down to go out with Sugar. She tells him that she's in love with him and he wins the competition. Mike proposes to Jane. Sam, Carm and Lily shave their heads. Sam and Brooke make a plan to stop and destroy their parents' engagement.
We Are Family
Jane and Mike's wedding is approaching. Sam and Brooke are making plans on how to stop them. Nicole gives Sam a wig in trade for a column in the paper. Nicole refuses to give Lily and Carm their wigs, and along with Mary Cherry they decide to torture them for that. Cherry Cherry hires Erik Estrada to play the cop that abused her, since he looks so much like him (see episode 18 "Ch-Ch-Changes"). Brooke and Sam's plan fails. Mike and Jane say that they want to adopt the girls. Brooke tells Jane that she'd love to be her daughter, leaving Sam by herself. Erik Estrada buys Mary Cherry's acceptance with his original CHiPs jacket, a piece of his table at Hollywood Squares and an interview for E!. Carmen and Lily shave half of Mary Cherry's head to get their wigs back. Brooke tells Sam that she misses a mom, since her real mother abandoned her. Sam tells Harrison that she's afraid of losing her mother to Brooke. Sam asks Nicole to help her ruin the wedding, but Nic tells Jane and Brooke Sammy's plans. The next morning, Brooke finds a note from Sam saying that she left. Quotes: Cherry Cherry: "Are you Erik Estrada , macho latin star of CHiPs, or one of those wussy white gals from Sex and the City?" Cherry Cherry: "You know I've always wanted to beat Elizabeth Taylor's marriage record. Plus, you act like I'm running off with Tom Wopat or something." Cherry Cherry: "Good News, the wedding is back on!" Mary Cherry: "But mama, how could this be?" Cherry Cherry: "Don't be stupid, stupid. I was just bluffing until Erik Estrada signed the pre-nup. What the hell happened to you? You look like a make-a-wish kid."
What Makes Sammy Run
Sam is missing. She ran off to San Francisco to find Brooke's mother, who denies having a daughter. Her coldness gives her in and she admits to be Brooke's mom, and says it's too late to go back. The girls are worried that Sam might have been kidnapped and be in danger, so they try to go on with Jane's bridal shower acting like nothing happened. The boys try to go in Caesar Crouton's Breast 'n Thighs Chicken Buffet / Strip Club, but they're underage and not even fake id's can get them in. After Brooke asks them to throw a bachelor party to her dad, they finally have a chance of getting in there. Mary Cherry wants to get back at her mother for denying her existence on TV. She discovers that Wanda Rickets has been living secretly in the girls bathroom since she ran away from her house, making tons of money as a teen trash, so Mary Cherry and Nicole decide to join her as strippers, and Mike is arrested for all the minors in the strip club. Just as Jane is about to have a collapse from Mike's arrest and Sam's kidnapping, Sam shows up. Cherry Cherry decides to pay for everything (the arrests, the wedding, and everything else) as long as they make a double wedding. Sam finally accepts Brooke as her sister.
Two Weddings and a Funeral (1)
Nicole and Mary Cherry are tired of boring sweeps cliffhangers stunts on their favorite TV shows. During the episode, several Sweeps Stunts (SS) are presented. Sam decides to accept the wedding and make it perfect. It's Bio Glass's final class, and she A+ to Brooke and Ds for the rest of the class. They can't skip the last day because she sent their pictures to the police. Josh asks for advice on how to get Brooke back, when, oops, his towel falls (SS#1: Pretty Boy Nudie Shot). Trapped in school, the Vice Principal remembers what happened over the year: 2 girls who despised each other and became sisters; some parents bisexuality; emotions and romances, and what the future may hold for them: porn star (Josh); Hustler's centerfold (Nicole), or axe murderer (Mary Cherry). Also, he reminds them of praying for May Tuna, who is looking for a heart downer, because of a bacteria brought in by dirt eating. They start to sing how Bobbi Glass should pay for ruining the day (SS#2: Gratuitous Musical Number). They decide to give her an ecoli shake that will give her a major diarrhea. But Ms. Glass is smart and gave everybody an F in advance (after all, her previous class tried to give her a banana smooth covered by Ebola virus). She suddenly collapses. The gang tries to bring her back to life, and Nicole gives her an emergency tracheotomy by sticking a pen in her throat. Nurse Glass shows up, blames them of killing her sister and threats to put them in jail. Meanwhile, Josh is trying to write something special for Brooke, and we're presented with "Popular Purge", a poll made by the viewers that will kill one of the characters. Lily finds Bobbi Glass's poetry book, on which she tells that her sister once tried to kill her by putting broken glass in her cereal. Nurse Jessie took the body, and tells her sister that she's not dead, but doped with exotic herbs from New Guinea. Jessie has been starving cats so they can eat her alive (SS#3: When Pets Attack). May's dream come true death wish is to spend a whole day with Brooke, so she knows what it is to be popular. The girls bring Bobbi's body to the house, and an earthquake shakes everything (SS#4: Natural Disaster). A brick falls in May's head. Nurse Jessie shows up to pick up the body during rehearsal dinner. But can a dead body pass gas? Then how come Bobbi farted? So she's not dead! Mary Cherry says that Jessie might have put voodoo on Bobbi and called Santeria. They find out that Bobbi was sent to the crematorium, and they believe she's gone. At the wedding, Jessie is looking for Bobbi's body, who wasn't cremated. Suddenly, May's pager announces the doctors have found a downer. While Bobbi's organs are being removed, the doctor doesn't find a heart! Jessie steals the body and sends it to the church, where they can't do anything. Carmen confesses she might be pregnant (SS#5: Pregnancy). Josh and Brooke get back together (SS#6: TV Couple Reunion). Mary Cherry has an anti-Santeria potion in her purse, and they give it to Bobbi's body. The brides walk down the isle with the boys singing (Double SS: Wedding Bobbi Glass wakes up and the winner of "Popular Purge" is revealed: May, who drops dead in middle of the church. TO BE CONTINUED... Quotes: Mary Cherry: "Somebody oughta kill that Miss Glass!" Bobbi Glass: "After a nuclear apocalypse, I'll be the only thing left standing other then cockroaches and Cher!" Nurse Jessie: "You can feel everything, can't you?" Bobbi Glass: "Yes. Specially this pen jointing out of my throat." Erik Estrada: "I haven't felt this jittery since I was on the People's Choice Awards, back in 77."
Timber! (2)
The students of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy High go back to class, after a long and complicated summer. During this time, Brooke and Sam have been trying to settle things with the return of Brooke's mother. She got divorced and is back to make up for the lost time with her daughter. Jane is very unsure about her future with Mike because she feels like he is still in love with Kelly. After she sees them kissing, she decides to move out with Sam. Seeing all the trouble she caused, Sam is trying to get Jane and Mike back together, but Brooke seems to be more interested in getting their parents back together, but she still likes Jane. Meanwhile, all the students are happy with their new chemistry teacher, since Ms. Glass is in a nursing home. But he gets arrested for dealing with pornography, and guess who is back with a new finger? Bobbi Glass herself. She decides to fail everybody and promise to make their lives a living hell this year. Her first decision is to cut down the 200-year-old oak, a symbol of the student's emotions. Lily and Sugar Daddy join forces to stop her. It turns out Carmen was not pregnant at all, and she decides to try out for the Glamazons again. Nicole makes Mary Cherry try out, unless she makes a knee transplant with her. Mary Charry bribes the 90-year-old nurse and switch knees. They declare war against each other for the new Ms. Popularity, now that Brooke is more busy dealing with her family. Nicole is terminated from the Glamazons for her bad knee and Carmen steps in as the new cheerleader. Brooke decides to move to San Francisco with her mom.
Baby, Don't Do It!
Bobbi Glass (with her new nickname, Claws) has a new experiment for the students: they have to take care of baby dolls as if they were real babies. Everybody gets one, except for Lily who shares the doll with Carm. Because they don't know the baby's gender, they name it Hillary Swank - neither a boy nor a girl. Brooke is too busy because she is moving to San Francisco with her mom, and doesn't have time to take care of the doll. Emory's twin sisters, Emma and Emily (Em&Em, a parody of the rap singer Eminem) come to K. High looking for lessons from Nic and MC for how to become popular. Too busy teaching the girls and organizing a party that will define popularity, they handle their babies to a British nanny, who eventually abuses them. Carm, concerned about the unpopular group, decides to help them, but neglects her baby. The twins become too powerful and turn against their teachers. Nic and Mary Cherry decide it's time to stop them and put things back on track. Meanwhile, Sam decides to help Mike and she convinces Brooke not to go by teaching her a lesson.
Citizen Shame
Bobbi Glass's uncle Tipton is coming to town, and she has to find a solution for her lies. All these years she has been telling him about her child, which she doesn't have. He is rich and she wants his money. So she bribes Nicole to pretend to be her daughter. Carmen runs away from home because she is having family problems. Her father left and she has bruises on her arm. She stays with Sam and Jane for a while, but then Jane talks her into calling her mom. She doesn't want Carmen to come back anymore, and Carmen is thinking about getting her own place. Trying to help Carm with money, Lily shows up at the family lunch and poses as Bobbi's second daughter. Bobbi's plans are ruined and nobody gets the money. Meanwhile, Bonnie, the new SAT teacher, becomes friendly with Brooke and they have lunch together. She gets drunk and Brooke tries to drive her home, but she takes the wrong car by accident and gets in major trouble. Jane and Sam have to take her out of prison. And then Jane realizes she is pregnant.
The Sweetest Taboo
Nicole, desperate to get back to the Glamazons, tries to bribe and blackmail Principal Krupps. Her attempts fail and she gets Mary Cherry and Sugar Daddy to help her make a fake video about him. As a result, she gets terminated from the cheerleaders forever. A new kid joins Kennedy High and gets a spot on the football team. Josh, jealous of him, tries to put everybody else against him. He gets his mom a job at school and she starts to date the football coach, and Josh's life falls apart. Sam misjudges George but realizes that friendship is more worth than an article. Josh finds Nicole crying, a proof that she still has a human side. They console each other.
Joe Loves Mary Cherry
Nicole is desperate to save her popularity, which is falling since she was banned from the Glamazons. She tells Brooke that she should dump Josh and start dating George. Harrison is feeling a little bit jealous about Sam and George flirting, and so he and Nicole team up to make a study on attraction for chemistry class. Brooke and Josh break up. Sam feels like she lost again to Brooke when she sees she and George together. But George tells Sam he is really into her and they kiss. Josh and Lily find themselves attracted to each other when he helps her to send a gay chimp back to his lover in Uganda. Harrison learns more about Mary Cherry and starts to have feelings for her (could it be love?). Jane tells Mike she's pregnant.
Style and Substance Abuse (1)
Brooke decides to run for student council president, dropping out of the Homecoming Queen election. She asks Harrison to be her campaign manager. They disagree on mandatory drug testing for students and he quits to run against her. Sam, Carmen, Nic and Mary Cherry get nominated to Homecoming Queen. Sam is motivated by George to run for it, but gets too into the spirit. Carmen is sleeping at the school since she is homeless, and Bobbi Glass invites her to her home. Seeing in Carmen herself in high school, Ms. Glass helps her with the contest (even threatening to give everybody an F if they don't vote for Carmen). Nic and Mary Cherry look for help with Hellacious Arke, a past 3 time Homecoming Queen, who is also Ms. Glass's own "Nicole" back in her high school days. Brooke misses Josh and sees him and Lily trying cough syrup while spying on them. Motivated by the recent death of a student of cough syrup overdose, she decides to run her campaign on anti-drug platform. Scared to be caught by the drug test, Josh convinces Harrison to let him use his urine on the test. Surprisingly, the results come positive.
Ur-ine Trouble (2)
Harrison reveals that he has been taking medicine for bad headaches, which later turns out to be leukemia. Harrison is forced to withdraw from the campaign and Brooke wins. Sam realizes what she is doing and quits from Homecoming Queen election. Nicole, Mary Cherry and Hellacious team up to beat Carmen in the election and prove that there is no place for her. Reaching as low as publicizing Carm's mom's alcoholism and make her look as an alcoholic teenager. Carmen moves back to her mom's to support her and wins the election. Hellacious tries to cheat, but Principal Krupps busts her. Ms. Glass has her comeback and helps taking all her pictures off the girl's room homecoming queen hall of fame. Lily turns herself in to save Josh, but they are a couple now, and he decides to get punished with her.
Misery Loathes Company
Harrison is checked in a hospital for treatment for his leukemia. His roommate is a religious fanatic, which makes him quite uncomfortable. Harrison doesn't want anybody's help and yells at Brooke. Brooke is faced with the ghost of her anorexia and fears coming back to the clinic she once was. Sugar Daddy feels miserable for his looks and checks into a clinic for food disorders (which happens to be the same hospital where Harrison is.). Mike hears somebody throwing up in the bathroom. First he thinks it might be Jane, but he realizes it's Brooke and puts her in the clinic. Sugar feels very depressed and has a fight with Brooke. Later she advises him to talk to one of the girls at the clinic, and she plays cupid slipping a love letter under her door. But the clinician gets the letter instead. Sugar feels guilty and tells Ashley that he didn't write the letter, without knowing that she never got the letter in the first place. Harrison's roommate has a seizure, just as he was starting to like him. He realizes how fragile life really is.
Are You There God? It's Me, Ann-Margret
Josh and Lily get cast for a play at the school where they have to appear nude in front of each other and everyone, which makes them uncomfortable. Brooke is at hospital again for treatment for her anorexia. Harrison is frightened when he walks into a room in the hospital and finds a ghost who seems to know a lot about him. Meanwhile, Carmen runs into Nicole in a metting for teenagers with alcoholic parents, but Nicole totally ignores her.
The Consequences of Falling
Clarence dies peacefully while talking to Harrison. His death has a deep impact in Harrison's own view of life, and he decides is not worth to keep the treatment for his cancer. He goes to extreme measures and decides to put an end in his agony, attempting suicide. But Clarence comes back as an angel to give Harrison a view of what the world would be if he had never been born. We see that April would have become a rich successful owner of a fish market (Tunaville); Brooke would have died from anorexia, Lily would have married Josh after pregnancy and they would have become the first family, and among other twisted things, Nicole and Mary Cherry trying to make a living as whores with Sugar Daddy as their pimp.
Fire in the Hole
Sam decides to take her relationship with George to the next level, and he gets scared and says they should wait until they're both ready. Bobbi Glass decides to make all her students act in a play she wrote herself ("That Burning Sensation: A Cautionary Tale") about STDs, as a part of the "National STDs Week". The students are cast: Lily as gonorrhea; April as syphilis; Josh and SD are worrisome warts; Mary Cherry and Nicole are crabs; Brooke is herpes; Carm is unsightly yellow discharge and Sam gets the part as the whore, with Harrison (now back at school) as the lonely virgin. Josh and Sugar decide to give Harrison a "virgin certificate", since he is the only virgin boy in the group, but he gets offended and embarrassed. Instead of taking the certificate, he decides to ask Nicole to sleep with him, but she says no. so he decides to use his certificate, but the prostitute is so old that they decide just to have Chinese food instead. Lily runs into George at a clinic and finds out he is not a real virgin.
The Shocking Possession of Harrison John
After Harrison returns to school since he had his bone marrow transplant, he acts in a weird way, making everybody think he's possessed or something. The girls think about it and conclude that he has impersonated Nicole's personality, since she was the donor. They decide to call a priest to exorcise him. Meanwhile, Josh and Lily's relationship is growing so much that there's hardly any space left for Sugar Daddy in Josh's life. Feeling neglected, he finds a new friendship in George. They enjoy each other for a while until George feels like Sugar is demanding too much attention. Josh and Sugar make up. Nicole finds out she's adopted after she asks her mom about her birth and she doesn't give clear information. Shocked, Nicole finds out that her mom was a 16 year old cheerleader, and tries to find her with no luck. Both Nicole and Harrison conclude they have to find themselves.
Mary Charity
Mary Cherry's clothes and objects are confiscated at school because her mom declared bankruptcy. She mutates into a crappy looking teen trash, with KFC's heat and paper shoes. Lily tries to help her and Mary Cherry starts to work at the cafeteria. Lily shows her how it really feels like to be poor. Meanwhile, Sam and Carmen decide to make a campaign to encourage people to take the pictures for the yearbook, and April is one of the only people who candidate for the free makeup. What started out as an experiment on a person's outside appearance turns out to be a lesson in the importance of what is inside a person. Brooke and Harrison are finally free from the hospital and Harrison tries to convince Brooke to take the school pictures. They have a moment while joking around deciding what to wear. Brooke and Harrison agree to stay just friends; Sam and Carmen experiment turns out a success; Mary Cherry gets her stuff back and helps the needy.
The News of My Death Has Been Greatly Exaggerated
Lily, Carmen, Mary Cherry and Brooke are peacefully riding Lily's car when they pass by a car crash and notice the Gremlin's license plate, TUNA69, and realize that the car belongs to their classmate April Tuna. The entire school is touched by her death and they make a memorial service in her honor. Everyone's feeling guilty about how they treated her. Josh gets a new hairstyle and joins the "mullets" club. Nicole finds out that the cafeteria lady is in fact her long lost birth mom. Sam gets an email from Harrison telling her he loves her and asks her to choose between him and George. Nicole gets an email too, saying what a bitch she is. She admits being a bitch at the memorial service, and April suddenly appears, saying she was not in the car that got crashed.
It's Greek to Me
Nicole's mom is not so happy about her spending time with her birth mom. Judy Julian tries to bribe Nicole's mom so she would disappear. Shaggy leaves and Nicole and Judy become closer. Meanwhile, the girls are bored with the immature behavior of the boys and their boring lives as high school students. Brooke meets a college girl who invites them to a college party. Sam and Lily are stuck at home for lying about where they where going and spend up playing board games with Sam's parents all night. Carmem meets a boy and goes up to his room. Feeling that something might happen, she hides inside the closet until the boys come to rescue her. After their experience at the frat party, the group learns that high school isn't so bad after all.
Fag
Lily, in an effort to defend a fellow student who has been suffering jokes about his lifestyle, starts the G.L.A.S.S. (Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Supportive Students), which causes a lot of repercussion around the school, and not such great support from people as she expected. But prejudice is not only about sexual choices, as Sam and George have to deal with the comments on their interracial relationship; Sugar D. doesn't get a job for being fat and Jamie (Brooke's date) reveals that he has suffered prejudice because of his religion. Things get hot when Lily is hospitalized after being attacked when she was leaving a g/l community center (which she took Miss Glass to get information about her sexuality). The gang realizes that hate will never lead to anything, and join the group one by one. Bryan comes out of the closet in a gesture of support after the group is cancelled.
Coup
With a lot of power in her hands and not so many brain cells in her head, April Tuna is ordered by Principal Krupps to cut one of the school's clubs. April becomes an easy prey for Evil Nicole (still out of the Glamazons and thirsty for revenge), who manipulates her into cutting the Glamazons off. April and Emory have a small fight when she threats to cut the "John Travolta-inspired Staying Alive" club, for which Lily, Harrison and Josh compete to be president of. Meanwhile, Brooke gets in deep trouble after she doesn't come home from Jamie's, which causes Mike to get furious and ground both Sam and her for lying. After Jane talks to him, he finally decides to give Jamie a chance and invites him over for dinner. Back at KH, Emory blackmails Tuna in order to save his club, and she ends up losing the position of student body president to Nicole, who immediately cuts the Glamazons, replaces it with "Bring It!", the new pep squad with her as the big star, and shuts the John Travolta club, announcing to the school that Evil Diabolic Nicole is back - and this time for good.
The Brain Game
Desperately seeking to be popular again, Mary Cherry fails in an audition to a teen talent show. But that didn't stop her, and she decides to put a team of students together to be in "The Big Head Challenge". Everybody is studying for the SATs and they all think it would be a nice way to test their knowledge at this competition. Cherry Cherry, who has become a student at KH (trying to beat her 50 points score in her SAT), also tries to get in, but loses the very last spot to Josh, who surprisingly know a lot more about chicken than we thought. Meanwhile, Carmen decides to take salsa lessons, and has her heart broken by the instructor, whom she had a crush for. But after he realizes how bad he made Carmen feel, he goes to KH to ask her out. At the competition, the gang is first relieved to be against the John Ashcroft Private School for Special Needs Children, but then surprised when they see that Cherry Cherry has bought the entire team and replaced the students by the teen talent show judges. KH is losing by far until Josh saves the team with his poultry knowledge. Although disappointed at losing, Cherry Cherry tells Mary Cherry that she has never been more proud of her, and the two share their first mother-daughter moment.
I Know What You Did Last Spring Break!
Ms. Glass wants all the students to write down where did they go for Spring Break and how many they slept with, so, in her own words, she can judge them. Most of the gang say they went to Cancun, and Harrison writes that he went to Yemen as his nose starts to bleed. Ms. Glass deduces he has been infected with the Rift Valley fever that is contaminating everyone in Yemen. Just as Sam was trying to talk to him by his locker, they are both isolated from the rest of the people and the school is shut down in quarantine. During Chemistry, Mary Cherry receives a call in her cell phone from someone who knows what she really did for Spring Break - a low-budget soft porn scary movie - and she has to run for her life as she is chased to be killed. Meanwhile, Lily tells April what they really did for SB. They intended to go to Cancun, but they all stayed in LA and had SB in different ways. Nicole is elected to attract the killer, but since she's not a virgin, and only virgins get chased by killers in scary movies, they fail. When the gang realizes they've all lied to each other about the SB, they decide to reveal the truth. Among romantic dinners and break ups, the most shocking revelation comes from Brooke and Harrison, who have slept together! Harrison and Sam make up and kiss, just when George walks in the nurse's office. Suddenly, the real Dr. Salk appears and the killer is revealed to be the travel agent to their trip to Cancun, who was trying to get back at the kids for ruining her bonus.
You Don't Tug on Superman's Cape
Sam and Brooke have a quick but intense argument over what each one has done to/with Harrison. Sam does not forgive Brooke for having slept with him, and Brooke puts Sam against the wall saying Sam turned him down so there were no strings attached. They both realize none of them is really wrong, and if there's anyone wrong there it's Harrison. At school, they give him the cold shoulder and George does the same to Sam. Sam and Brooke plan to stood up Harrison at a restaurant, but Brooke shows up and is caught by Sam talking to Harrison, which leads into a huge food fight. At home, Jane is trying to fix things between the two of them when her water breaks. Josh's mom announces she is moving away, and Josh has to either come with her or go live with his dad - which he does in order not to leave Lily. She suggests they get married, and although his mom tried to warn him that he was too young, he goes ahead and gets married to Lily right before prom. Mary Cherry accidentally bumps into Big Bertha's car (a 7 year senior). She leaves a note as if it was Nicole the one who did it, only to be unmasked by Nic and have Big Bertha after her, saying "You broke my car. You'll pay". Just as Mary Cherry is about to lose to Big Bertha, Nicole shows up and defends Mary Cherry, as they become friends again.
Promblems
Sam and Brooke help deliver Jane's baby (in one of tv's fastest labors) and realize that they can't fight over Harrison, so they both agree on going with him to the prom (ménage?). Nicole is thirsty for revenge and gets George into asking her to the prom, since he is hurt by what Sam's doing. Josh and Lily are trying to handle their marriage, and decide they should get a place of their own, since Lily's mother disapproval has become unbearable. So they move to the now available Ms. Glass's basement. But they have too much pressure on their hands, since Ms. Glass is using them for house chores and they are totally broke, to the point of Lily having to sell organic soap at the school and Josh getting a job as a window salesman. And they're still trying to consume their wedding. Mary Cherry is touched by the sisterhood of Brooke and Sam, and decides she wants a sister too. She asks Nicole to be her sister, but the Devil turns down the offer. Suddenly, Mary Cherry's long lost twin sister (Baby Honey Chile) appears, claming she found out about her wealthy sister on E!'s Mysteries and Scandals and says she is also entitled to the Cherry's money. First Mary Cherry is happy about B.Ho, but then Cherry Cherry decides to change daughters and put Mary Cherry up for adoption. In the orphanage, Mary Cherry has a shocking revelation when she finally meets her father: he's a drag queen, and has been raising B.Ho in Bronx! Nicole lies to Sam about what would be Brooke's secret plan to get Harrison, and Brooke goes to Nicole saying that was enough, and makes her apologize to Sam and George. Tired of being in Brooke's shadow, Nicole cuts herself loose and tells Brookie she will never obey her again. After a couple of slaps in each other's faces, Brooke tells Nicole she will never - ever! - talk to her again. Nicole threats Brooke and leaves. Brooke, Sam and Harrison are having dinner together, and they make him choose between the two. Right before prom, Nicole gets a phone call from George saying he won't be able to go anymore. Furious, angry, pissed and once again possessed by the Devil, Nicole gets drunk and goes to the McQueens after Brooke. Mike tries to stop her from driving, but she runs away. She is driving insanely on the streets when in that exact moment Brooke and Sam run off the restaurant table, after Harrison makes his choice. Brooke runs into the street, and a raged Nicole sees the oportunity of getting back at Brooke once and for all, and runs over Brooke.