The Simpsons Christmas Special: The Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire
Christmas is nearly ruined when Marge has to spend all of the family's gift money to remove Bart's tattoo. Homer becomes a department store Santa to raise more cash, but bets it all at the dog races on a hot tip from Barney. Homer and Bart save Christmas by adopting the losing greyhound, Santa's Little Helper.
Bart cheats on his intelligence test and is mistaken for a child genius. In order to offer him more stimulation, Marge and Homer enroll him in a school for gifted students where he is immediately made to feel like the mediocre student he is. Bart eventually bluffs his way back into Springfield Elementary by claiming he'll study his classmates but winds up confessing to everyone that he cheated.
Homer reevaluates his life after getting fired from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for causing a meltdown. He becomes a public safety advocate and rallies to have speed bumps installed on roads and fights against his old boss. Eventually, he abandons his cause and gets rehired at the plant with a raise.
After an embarrassing experience at his company picnic in which he tries to pass off his family as normal, Homer begins to wonder if his family is too dysfunctional. Homer first tries to show the rest of the family what normal families do and in the process almost gets arrested. Homer then gets the idea of family therapy when he sees an ad on TV. The family begins attending sessions with Dr. Marvin Monroe, an unorthodox psychotherapist who uses shock therapy to "cure" them. It only gets them so far until Dr. Monroe is forced to pay them $500 to keep their mouths shut about coming to therapy.
After defending Lisa against Nelson over some cupcakes, Bart pays the ultimate price when Nelson beats him up and throws him into a garbage can. Bart is taught the Simpson way of fighting by Homer, but it fails. With the help of Grandpa and one-armed Herman, Bart and his troop of kids attack Nelson and his buddies with water balloons until he agrees to sign a cease fire treaty.
Lisa gets sent home from school with a terrible case of the blues. Meanwhile, Homer is distraught with the fact that Bart is whooping him at video boxing. One night Lisa meets “Bleeding Gums” Murphy, a jazz musician who teaches her how to express her feelings through music. We learn in a dream sequence that Marge was pushed to be happy by her mother and so she pushes Lisa to smile until Marge finally relents and it causes Lisa to naturally smile. Just when Homer was about to beat Bart in boxing, Marge and Lisa pull the plug. The family goes to the Jazz Hole, where “Bleeding Gums” plays a song that was written by Lisa.
After seeing what Flanders has, Homer buys an RV he then takes the family camping. Accidentally driving it off the edge of a cliff, Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are trapped in the woods and must fend for themselves. Marge and Lisa prove to be the real trailblazers as they make fire. Meanwhile Homer and Bart use leaves as clothing and can't get any food. Homer is mistaken for Bigfoot and eventually captured by hunters but scientists think that either he's a clever ape or a dumb male human.
Bart tries to impress Jimbo Jones and his friends by stealing the head of the Jebediah Springfield statue in the town square. The townspeople are devastated by his act of vandalism and only Homer can help him return the head to its shoulders and fend off the angry mob.
Homer buys Marge a bowling ball for her birthday, prompting her to take up bowling lessons with a suave, French bowling instructor named Jacques. As her game improves, Marge and Jacques grow closer and closer until they're spending every night of the week at the bowling alley and sharing brunch. Realizing that he may be losing Marge, Homer tries to tell her how he feels and remind her of her loyalty to the family.
Using his toy spy camera, Bart captures Homer drunk and cavorting with a belly-dancing named Princess Kashmir. When he gets the photo developed, it is photocopied and distributed all over town, ruining Homer's reputation and nearly wrecking his marriage to Marge. Fearing that Bart may be learning a bad lesson about how to treat women, Marge insists that Homer introduce Bart to the Princess so he can learn that women aren't sex objects.
After Bart is in trouble after sending a cherry bomb down the toilet at school, he is sent to France as a foreign exchange student and is forced to live with two slave-driving French winemakers. In his place, the Simpson family takes in Adil, a student from Albania, who's actually a spy stealing the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's secrets. Bart escapes his tormentors' vineyard and manages to speak enough French to tell the authorities. He returns home a national hero. As for Adil, he gets caught and sent back to Albania in exchange for an American kid in trouble there.
After work, Homer stops by the Kwik- E- Mart after learning that his wife's sisters are coming over. He then sees Krusty the Klown robbing the store. When Homer identifies him as the thief, Krusty is arrested. Bart is devastated and all Krusty merchandise gets burned after Krusty is found guilty of robbery. Sideshow Bob takes his place on the TV and Bart refuses to believe he robbed it. When Bart and Lisa go to the Kwik- E- Mart to find clues, they find some interesting things. Krusty couln't have used the microwave; he has a pacemaker. He also couldn't have read the magazine, for he is illiterate. Krusty was framed. On the live show "The Sideshow Bob Cavalcade of Whimsy" Bart concludes to the audience that it wasn't Krusty who robbed the store; it was Sideshow Bob. He realizes this because in the footage of the store, Homer stepped on his foot. But Krusty has small feet. So the police arrest Bob, free Krusty, and Krusty thanks Bart for trusting him. Krusty is cleared and Bob begins the first of his many prison terms.
Marge calls a radio show with Dr. Marvin Monroe talking about how she's getting neglected by Homer. Homer hears the show and the fact that Marge will be waiting to pounce on him. Homer and Marge go out for a much-needed romantic dinner and leave Bart, Lisa and Maggie with a babysitter named Ms. Botz. Bart becomes convinced that Ms. Botz is actually the Babysitter Bandit, a wanted criminal he saw on America's Most Wanted Armed and Dangerous. Bart turns out to be correct and when Ms. Botz ties him and Lisa up and attempts to rob the house, until Maggie comes to the rescue. In the end, Homer lets Botz go scot-free, pays her off and is declared a local boob.
After failing a history test, Bart strikes a deal with Martin Prince to make him cool in exchange for tutoring. Bart successfully transforms Martin into a regular kid, but Martin reneges on his side of the bargain and Bart is once again in danger of failing. After an all-night study session, Bart still fails but he manages to impress Mrs. Krabappel with his grasp of history and she gives him a D-minus, a grade Homer is proud to hang on the fridge.
When Homer gets an experimental hair treatment, he grows a shaggy new mane. Marge finds the new Homer sexy and Mr. Burns mistakes his most incompetent employee for a hungry up-and-comer and promotes him. As part of his promotion, Homer gets an overly attentive assistant named Karl who ensures that his every step is correct and his every move successful. When Homer's hair begins to fall out again, his success goes down the drain as well.
Bart and Lisa try to outdo each other with by telling ghost stories while Homer listens in, including: Bad Dream House; The Simpsons move to a haunted house, beam into outer space and take on a chilling literary classic. In the first segment, the family checks into a mansion that tries to make them kill one another. Hungry Are The Damned; Kang and Kodos bring the Simpsons aboard a spaceship, and then proceed to entertain and feed them in preparation for what might prove to be their last supper. The Raven; Lisa reads Bart the classic poem, while the family take parts in a Simpsonized version.
Two Cars In Every Garage And Three Eyes On Every Fish
Bart and Lisa catch a three-eyed fish in a polluted stream near the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, bringing scads of negative publicity to Mr. Burns. In order to fight the bad press, Burns decides to run for Governor, enlisting a team of spin doctors and Homer. But all the spin doctors in the world can't fix Mr. Burns' major blunder when, on live TV, Marge serves him a three-eyed fish for dinner and he coughs up his piece of the fish, ruining his gubernatorial chances. Burns vows that all Homer's dreams will be unfulfilled, but he has Marge to reassure him.
Homer embarrasses himself at the company's baseball party by dancing on the fence, but he becomes a local celebrity when he is named the mascot for the Springfield Isotopes, a local minor league baseball team. With a repertoire of dance moves and specialized routines, Homer attracts the attention of the team's owner, who recruits him to become the mascot for Capital City Capitals. Homer discovers that his moves don't play in Capital City as well as they did in Springfield and is swiftly fired from the mascot business.
In a bout of over-the-top neighborly competition, Homer and Ned Flanders pit Bart and Todd against one another in a miniature golf competition. Homer is the catalyst of this rivalry as he is jealous of everything Ned has. Bart is forced to train incessantly for the big day, but it's clear that the tournament is more important to Homer, who made a side bet for the loser's father to mow the other's lawn in a dress. On the day of the big tournament, Bart and Todd face off until the final hole, when they agree to throw the match and tie. Because of their bet, Ned and Homer are both forced to mow each other's lawn in dresses, but Ned enjoys it.
Lisa spends the days leading up the Thanksgiving building a centerpiece dedicated to female heroes of American history. In order to make room for more food on the table, Bart accidentally throws Lisa's centerpiece into the fireplace, destroying it. Sent to his room with no Thanksgiving supper, Bart escapes out his window and, with Santa's Little Helper, wanders the city, eventually landing at a homeless shelter where he is filmed by a TV crew. Returning home, Bart apologizes to Lisa for destroying her centerpiece.
At a Monster Truck event, Bart spots his hero Captain Lance Murdock, a daredevil who attempts to jump his motorcycle over a tank filled with great white sharks, electric eels, piranhas, alligators, a ferocious lion and one drop of blood that drives all the wild animals insane. Inspired to follow in Murdock's footsteps, Bart attempts increasingly risky skateboard jumps until he sets his sights on Springfield Gorge. Homer tries to stop Bart from jumping, only to find himself in danger of accidentally skating off the ramp and into the gorge. However, the ambulance taking Homer to the hospital crashes into a tree sending Homer down the gorge again.
Convinced that the images on "The Itchy & Scratchy Show" are a bad influence on kids after Homer is hit in the head by Maggie's hammer, Marge wages a one-woman campaign against the show that eventually forces the creator, Roger Meyers, Jr., to curb the violence in favor of bland, lovey-dovey plots. The new format bombs and the show's ratings plunge. Meanwhile, Marge is asked to comment on The Springfield Art Museum's exhibition of Michelangelo's "David." Not finding it at all objectionable, Marge loses her standing with the anti-free speech brigade that once supported her and the cartoons are back on the air.
Mr. Burns hits Bart with his car, sending him on a trip to heaven and hell while he's unconscious. After consulting the crooked attorney Lionel Hutz, Homer and Marge attempt to sue Mr. Burns for a million dollars. Burns is prepared to settle for $500,000, but promptly withdraws the offer when he discovers that the Simpsons have exaggerated Bart's injuries. Burns smartly has Marge testify on the stand and the whole case is blown sky high. Homer feels that every time he looks at Marge, he'll be reminded of the time he lost a million dollars because of her; of course he relents at the end.
Homer discovers the wonders of sushi, trying a piece of every fish on the menu of the Happy Sumo restaurant. But when he eats a bad piece of blowfish, he is poisoned and given 24 hours to live by Dr. Hibbert. With one day left on earth, Homer makes a list of everything he ever wanted to do but didn't and tries to pack it all in before he succumbs to the blowfish poison. After staying up all night, Homer survives and goes on to live his life exactly as he did before--watching TV and eating salty treats.
When the TV breaks, Marge takes the opportunity to share the story of how she and Homer met with Bart and Lisa. Flashing back to 1974, we see Homer as ne'er-do-well high school student and Marge as a budding feminist. Homer becomes smitten with Marge and tries to get close to her by enlisting her as his French tutor. After several hours of verb conjugation, Marge falls for Homer too, only to become enraged when he admits that he's not even a French student and only said he was to get her to spend time with him. Marge rejects Homer's invitation to the prom and goes with Artie Ziff, a nerdy debate club colleague of hers. Artie turns out to be a terrible date and Marge realizes that it's Homer who she really wants.
Homer becomes the most popular guy in town when he gets an illegal cable hook-up. But Lisa doesn't approve and fears that Homer will go to hell for violating the Eighth Commandment. Lisa seeks advice from Reverend Lovejoy, who simply tells her not to watch the stolen cable. Later, Homer invites all of his new friends over to watch a big fight, but he begins to feel guilty about stealing the transmission and, to lessen his guilt, cuts the cable line.
Marge enlists Homer's help to find Aunt Selma a husband after Selma feels depressed after going to a wedding. During his search, Homer is called into Springfield Elementary to meet with Principal Skinner after Bart writes his name in grass with Sodium Tetrachloride. He then decides that the principal is the man for Selma. Skinner agrees to meet Selma but mistakenly falls in love with Aunt Patty instead, causing Selma to grow even more depressed about her life. Even though Patty enjoys Skinner's company, she eventually gives him up to make her sister happy. Meanwhile, Bart is taking advantage of Skinner's happiness until the breakup and Bart has to re-seed the whole field again.
Homer discovers that he has a long-lost half brother, Herb Powell, who is the wealthy CEO of a car company after Grandpa Simpson almost died of a heart attack. When Homer and Herb meet, they instantly hit it off and Herb takes in the Simpson family as his own. Herb hires Homer to help design a car for regular guys, but Homer's design proves so disastrous that it bankrupts Herb's company, because of the $80000 price tag and forces the brothers apart once again.
After a series of destructive acts, the entire Simpson family loses patience with Santa's Little Helper. Marge and Homer insist on sending the dog to Emily Winthrop's Canine College but Santa's Little Helper proves too unruly and stupid to learn anything. Homer and Marge threaten to give the dog away if he doesn't pass his obedience training, so Bart tries as hard as he can to train him, but Santa's Little Helper refuses to lie down or do any of the other tricks he was taught. Somehow, Bart finally gets through to the dog, who ultimately passes Canine College and stays with the family.
Grandpa falls in love with Bea Simmons, a fellow resident of the Springfield Retirement Castle. During the course of their brief romance, Bea and Grandpa hit it off but then on her birthday, Homer and the family take Grandpa to the Discount Lion Safari and in the meantime, Bea passes away and leaves Grandpa her entire savings, $100,000. Grandpa tells Homer that he's not getting one dime of it because of what happened with Bea. Grandpa decides to give the money to charity but can't decide which one is worthiest. So, he goes to a casino and decides to bet it all on roulette when Homer intervenes. Homer actually stops Abe from losing everything. Eventually, he donates the money to the Retirement Castle to buy new easy chairs and equipment.
Marge's interest in art is reawakened when she finds some of her old paintings in the attic. Signing up for a painting class taught by Professor Lombardo at Springfield Community College, Marge eventually develops enough confidence in her work to enter the Springfield Art Fair and win. In the meantime, Homer starts to go on a diet after a tube accident at Mount Splashmore and the following media attention. Her winning painting catches the eye of Mr. Burns, who hires her to paint his official portrait, a task that proves very difficult because Marge finds Mr. Burns to be excessively ugly. Burns turns out to be a pain in the side of Marge when he criticizes Lisa and Homer's current weight almost giving Homer an eating binge. Marge has enough and sends Burns out of the house. When Marge starts to question herself, a letter from Ringo Starr (still alive) recaptures her confidence. Eventually, she paints a picture that emphasizes Mr. Burns' flaws. But rather than embarrassing him, the portrait humanizes him in the eyes of the public and he is forced to accept the painting as a success.
When Lisa's teacher Miss Hoover gets Lyme disease, Mr. Bergstrom takes over the class. Lisa finds Mr. Bergstrom's teaching methods incredibly inspiring and discovers an entirely new love for learning. Meanwhile, Bart runs for class president versus Martin and his crazy campaigning style has him ahead in the polls. When Miss Hoover returns to her class, Lisa is devastated to lose her most positive grown-up role model. Bart seems so confident that he forgets to vote in the class election and loses 2-0 because Martin and Wendell were the only ones who voted. Eventually, she realizes that while Mr. Bergstrom was one of a kind, she can find role models in other people, including her own father. Homer also cheers up Bart saying "let the baby have his bottle" meaning to let Martin be unpopular for being class president.
When Homer humiliates Marge at a party they've thrown for their friends and neighbors, the only thing that can save their marriage is a weekend retreat for married couples run by Reverend Lovejoy up at Catfish Lake. Marge is determined to fix their marriage, but Homer is more determined to catch General Sherman, the freakishly large catfish that lives in the lake. Marge tells Homer that if he really loves her, he won't spend any time fishing, but while taking a walk along the lake one morning, Homer finds himself unable to resist the chance to catch General Sherman. When Marge finds him wrestling the gigantic fish into a boat, she scolds him for lying to her. Homer proves his love for Marge the only way he can: He lets General Sherman go.
Bart becomes obsessed with buying the first issue of Radioactive Man, but can't scrape together the $100 he needs to make it his own. So, he gets small jobs selling lemonade and beer. Then he gets hired to work for Mrs. Glick, the old lady down the street and only gets 50 cents for his efforts. Enlisting Milhouse and Martin Prince, Bart is finally able to buy the comic, even though he only possesses one third of it. But things get hairy when none of them can decide who gets to keep it or for how long. The three enter into a dangerous confrontation that threatens to destroy not only their precious investment, but their friendships as well.
When Mr. Burns gets sick, only a transfusion of Bart's blood, which is a special type, can save him. With the boy's blood coursing through his veins, Mr. Burns is more alive than ever and writes a thank-you note to Bart. Homer is convinced that Burns has not shown his boy enough gratitude and writes his boss a nasty letter. Realizing he's made a mistake, Homer tries repeatedly to stop Burns from getting the note, but can't do it in time. Reading the letter, Mr. Burns vows to ruin Homer's life, but after some strong words from Mr. Smithers, the mogul realizes that he is wrong and shows his gratitude by buying the Simpson family a huge, frightening Olmec Indian statue for their house.
When he wears a pink shirt to work, Homer's coworkers mistake him for a mental patient and commit him to the New Bedlam Rest Home for the Emotionally Interesting. While there, Homer meets a tall, stocky white man who claims to be Michael Jackson. Despite his reservations, Homer befriends "Michael" and takes his new pal home with him upon his release. Meanwhile, Lisa celebrates her eighth birthday without a present from Bart, who was too inconsiderate to get her anything. With "Michael's" help, Bart writes a special song for Lisa that proves to be the best gift she ever received. Witnessing the tender scene, "Michael" admits that he's really Leon Kompowsky, a bricklayer.
Lisa enters an essay contest and wins a trip for the whole family to go to Washington, D.C. While there, her faith in democracy is shattered when she witnesses a congressman accepting a bribe. In her desire to uphold this nation's ideals, Lisa decides to expose the corrupt official, and in doing so has him arrested in a sting operation.
Ned Flanders decides to open his own business called the Leftorium, a store that sells tools and products aimed at left-handed consumers. Homer, filled with resentment towards Flanders, hopes that the Leftorium fails. Needless to say, the business is not a smashing success and Flanders goes broke, forcing his family to sell their furniture and possessions in a tag sale. Wracked with guilt, Homer enlists all of the left-handed people he knows to buy Flander's wares and save his neighbor from financial ruin.
After a miserable day in which Bart had nothing go right for him, he crashes his skateboard into the stairwell of the Legitimate Businessman's Social Club; Bart falls in with a particularly bad crowd: the Springfield Mafia. Soon, he befriends Fat Tony, Louie, Joey and other goodfellas, who take him on as their bartender and errand boy. As Bart adopts more and more gangster-like traits, Marge grows anxious. That is proven true when Bart had cartons of cigarettes hidden in his room. After Skinner sentences Bart to an afternoon of detention, he disappears and the police strongly suspect that Bart and his new friends are responsible. During the sensational trial, Fat Tony turns stool pigeon and rats out Bart as Skinner's killer. Nobody can save Bart but Skinner himself, who emerges from his hiding place to explain that neither Bart nor the Mob did anything to him and that he disappeared after being trapped under a pile of newspapers. Bart snubs the mafia and returns home, safe from a life imprisonment.
During a near-fatal meltdown at The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Homer frantically presses buttons on his console until he hits the right combination and saves the day. Homer becomes a hero even though he knows in his heart that what he did was a fluke. Meanwhile, Bart is not allowed to play with Milhouse by order of Mrs. Van Houten because Bart is a bad influence on him. Aristotle Amadopolis, owner of the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant, invites Homer to make a speech for the employees at his plant, and Homer is once again faced with a meltdown. This time, he isn't so lucky and he sees his reputation destroyed just as quickly as it was made. Meanwhile, Marge goes to bat for Bart saying that Bart and Milhouse need each other and Mrs. Van Houten relents and allows Bart to be friends with Milhouse again. All Homer's efforts earned him was a new catchphrase, the Homer, in which people achieve greatness despite great stupidity.
After having to go to dinner at the Simpsons' house, as a favor for Bart saving him from jail, Krusty the Clown reveals that he is the estranged son of an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi. It seems that Krusty's father, Rabbi Krustofski, never accepted his son's profession, and disowned him years ago. Bart and Lisa decide to reunite the two men, but find that getting the Rabbi to agree to a meeting is nearly impossible. After endless research by Lisa, and repeated negotiations by Bart, the Rabbi agrees to meet with his clown son, and the two men are reunited and appear together on The Krusty the Clown Show.
After eating piles and piles of Halloween candy, Bart, Lisa and Homer have nightmares that haunt them all night. The Monkey's Paw; Lisa dreams that the family goes on a trip to Morocco and buys a cursed monkey paw that grants its owner three wishes. By wishing for world peace, Lisa accidentally paves the way for an alien invasion by Kang and Kodos, who enslave the human race. The Bart Zone; Bart's dream, in which he has the power to read minds and affect people with his thoughts, seems less like a nightmare at first. But eventually, he realizes he's used his powers for evil and repents. If I Only Had A Brain; Homer dreams that Mr. Burns steals his brain for a giant robot he's building. Due to an accident, Mr. Smithers is forced to sew Mr. Burns' head onto Homer's body, creating a horrific two-headed creature.
When Homer disappoints Lisa one too many times, he tries to make it up to her with one grand gesture: He buys her a pony. Lisa is thrilled, but Homer and Marge are shocked to discover how expensive maintaining the animal can be. Homer is forced to take on another job working the graveyard shift at the Kwik-E-Mart to pay the bills. When she realizes her father is overworked, Lisa decides to give up her pony.
Bart becomes deeply immersed in competitive soapbox racing while Homer begins to realize that he's not as good a father as he thought. After attending a lecture at National Fatherhood Institute, Homer becomes a more attentive father, helping Bart build the ultimate soapbox racer. But Bart decides not to use it in his big race against Nelson Muntz, instead opting to borrow Martin Prince's scientifically engineered aerodynamic racer. Homer is devastated by Bart's rejection, and then he learns that he can pass the fatherhood test and attends the race and watches as Bart beats Nelson.
Homer invents a bizarre drink he calls the Flaming Homer. It's so good that Moe steals his recipe, renames it the Flaming Moe, and takes credit for it. The Flaming Moe revitalizes the bartender's business, turning Moe's Tavern into the hottest spot in Springfield. Meanwhile, Homer is so angered by Moe's stealing of his idea that he sabotages Moe's chance to sell the recipe for the Flaming Moe to representatives of Tipsy McStagger's bar and grill franchise. When the recipe is revealed, every place of business has the Flaming Moe. Realizing he shouldn't have taken credit in the first place, Moe makes him a Flaming Homer on the house.
Homer learns that his stock in the company has risen to $25. Not knowing that it would move up to $5200, he sells his stock and then gets chewed out by the family for a stupid mistake. The reason for the big stock price was that Mr. Burns sells The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for $100 million. The buyers are two wealthy German investors who promptly fire Homer because of incompitence. The family goes through a money crisis but then after a confrontation with Homer and others at Moe's, Mr. Burns realizes he should never have sold the plant. After negotiations, Burns buys back the plant and re-hires Homer, plotting to get revenge on him in the future. Also in this episode, Bart has to go pick up Homer at Moe's, where he made several prank calls.
It's a walk down memory lane as Homer and Marge recount their early years for Bart and Lisa. Back in 1980, a young Homer and Marge are forced to get married at Shotgun Pete's Wedding Chapel after Marge becomes pregnant. But married life is difficult for the young couple and Homer decides to leave Marge until he is able to provide the sort of life he thinks she deserves. Marge tracks Homer down at his new job at the Gulp 'N Blow and the two agree to stick it out and build a family together.
Homer buys Bart a Superstar Celebrity microphone for his birthday. Bart thinks it's the lamest gift in the world until he realizes he can play some great pranks with it. One of his pranks backfires when the entire town comes to the rescue of "Timmy O'Toole," the little boy Bart pretends has fallen down a well. Krusty the Clown brings his celebrity friends, including Sting, to record a song "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well" to benefit Timmy. Realizing things have gotten out of hand; Bart tries to undo his prank, but winds up falling down the well himself. He eventually admits that there was no Timmy O'Toole and the whole town is angered because a 10-year-old boy took them for fools. The only people willing to dig Bart out of the well are Homer and Sting.
Homer discovers that Lisa has an uncanny ability to pick winning football teams. Soon, the two of them spend every Sunday afternoon together, betting on football games and winning. Meanwhile, Marge tries to connect to Bart by purchasing clothes for him, that doesn't work. During these "Daddy-Daughter Days," Lisa feels closer to Homer than ever, but she begins to feel betrayed when she realizes Homer is only interested in her winning picks. Marge knows about this when Homer told her about their big finances. Lisa decides to give everything away because it's all tainted. Lisa rebels by refusing to pick a winner for the Super Bowl until Homer apologizes for being selfish, but then she says if Homer loves her, the winner is Washington, on the other side of the coin, Buffalo. After Washington wins by 7 (in real life 38-24) they agree to have Daddy-Daughter Days after the end of the football season and continue to bond.
Marge has a nervous breakdown and is sent to Rancho Relaxo resort for some much-needed rest and relaxation. While she's off pampering herself, Homer sends Bart and Lisa to stay with their Aunts Patty and Selma but must take care of Maggie himself. During the night, Maggie disappears and Homer frantically runs around town looking for her. Spotted by the Springfield Police, Maggie is finally brought back to Homer and Marge returns from her vacation clueless about her daughter's little adventure.
During a particularly long detention jag, Bart discovers that his teacher, Mrs. Krabappel, has placed a personal ad looking for love. Thinking it would be funny to string her along, Bart writes her a love letter as "Woodrow," the perfect man who loves holding hands and hates yo-yos. Meanwhile, Homer curses a blue streak that has Flanders up in arms because it's affecting Todd. Homer promises to stop swearing if Flanders shaves his moustache. Mrs. Krabappel falls madly in love with Woodrow and Bart begins to realize that he's done a very cruel thing. To keep Homer from swearing, a swear jar is created so that when Homer curse, he must drop change in the jar, there's enough to buy a new doghouse and some beer. With the help of his family, Bart writes a sweet goodbye letter and lets his teacher gently off the hook.
Mr. Burns makes a million dollar bet with his arch-rival Aristotle Amadopolis that the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant team will beat the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant team in the softball championships. To ensure victory, Burns hires a number of ringers, including pro baseball players Darryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey, Jr., Steve Sax, Roger Clemens, Jose Canseco, Don Mattingly, Ozzie Smith, Wade Boggs and Mike Scioscia to replace the plant employees he cut from the team. But as game day approaches, the pros all succumb to various strange ailments and accidents that prevent them from playing and it's up to Homer and his teammates to beat the Shelbyville team. With bases loaded and the score tied in the ninth inning, Homer is sent to bat and wins the game when the pitch hits him in the head and accidentally scores a homer.
After taking career aptitude tests, Lisa discovers that the occupation she's best suited for is homemaker while Bart is pegged as a future police officer. Each takes the opportunity to explore their options as Lisa spends the day doing chores with Marge and Bart goes on a ride along with the police. Lisa hates her role and rebels by becoming a troublemaker at school. Police life fits Bart like a glove and he becomes a hall monitor, handing out demerits to his classmates for minor infractions. When Lisa secretly steals all of the teachers' manuals, it's up to Bart and Principal Skinner to figure out who did it. Realizing his sister is the culprit; Bart takes the rap and returns to his life as a bad student and detention regular.
Homer believes that he will win the big lottery and buys 50 tickets, but none win. Meanwhile, Santa's Little Helper has to be rushed to the hospital to undergo an emergency operation. Homer is saddened to tell Bart and Lisa that they just can't afford the $750 for the operation, but seeing how much everyone--including himself--loves the dog, he resolves to find a way to pay for it. To save up the money, everyone must give up their small luxuries and begin to resent the dog for forcing them to lose out on the things they enjoy. Hurt and dejected, Santa's Little Helper runs away from home, only to be adopted by Mr. Burns, who trains him to become one of his vicious attack hounds. After a long brainwashing process, Santa's Little Helper becomes a bloodthirsty killer. When Bart goes to Burns' mansion to retrieve his dog, Santa's Little Helper tries to attack him but remembers all the good times they had and snaps out of his brainwashed state. The dog then returns to the family that loves him.
Homer and Marge have a fight after attending a boring movie and Homer drives off angry. As he drives, he pulls up to a honky-tonk bar called Beer 'N' Brawl where he meets an aspiring country music singer named Lurleen Lumpkin. Struck by her talent and her beauty, Homer becomes her manager, securing her gigs and a record deal while at the same time fraying his relationship with Marge. Even though it's clear that Lurleen is falling in love with Homer, he resists her come-ons and signs away Lurleen's contract to another manager in order to be a better husband to Marge.
Selma agrees to marry her prison pen pal, Sideshow Bob. Bart and Lisa are terrified of their soon-to-be new uncle, since Bob swore he'd get revenge on Bart for having him sent to prison for framing Krusty the Clown for robbery. Sideshow Bob tries to show the Simpsons that he has changed his ways in prison, but Bart remains skeptical. His suspicion pays off when Bob tries to kill Aunt Selma on their honeymoon. The plot involved a room with a fireplace, cigarettes because Selma smoked right after MacGyver and gas that Selma wouldn't have noticed because she lost her sense of smell. Bart foils the plot and it is back to prison for Bob, back to spinsterhood for Selma.
After seeing Spinal Tap bring the house down (sort of) in concert, Bart decides he wants to learn how to play electric guitar. Playing is harder than Bart thought and he becomes dejected when he sees what a guitar god his bus driver, Otto, is. Because he was too busy jamming with Bart's guitar, Otto arrives late to school and is fired until he can get a new license from the DMV. With no job and no prospects, Otto is thrown out of his apartment and is forced to live in the Simpsons' garage until he can get his job back. Based on their mutual dislike for Homer, Patty approves Otto's new license and Otto is allowed to drive the school bus again.
Everything's coming up Milhouse when Bart's best friend falls in love with the new girl, Samantha Stanky. Bart is jealous of how much time Milhouse is spending with Samantha and plots to break them up by telling Samantha's strict father about the relationship. Samantha is packed off to Catholic school and Milhouse is heartbroken. Bart admits that it was his fault that Samantha was sent away and the two boys come to blows. Eventually they make up and go visit Samantha at her new school, where she is very happy.
Homer is first revealed to be impotent because of the nuclear plant, so Homer is rewarded with an award for "Excellence in the field of Excellence". Homer's half-brother Herb Powell returns, but this time not as a successful businessman. After Homer wrecked his car company, Herb has become a bum, but with a little help from Maggie, he thinks he has come up with a shoo-in invention that will put him back on top. Herb wants to build the first baby translator, a device that will interpret babies' cries and mumbles into plain speech. Homer agrees to fund the research and when Herb's business takes off, he buys the family gifts. Lisa gets a book-of-the-month membership, Bart gets a NRA membership, Maggie gets what the dog's eating, Marge gets a new washer and dryer and Homer gets a vibrating chair.
After making a deal with Homer to get good grades in school, Bart and Lisa go away to Kamp Krusty, "The Krustiest Place on Earth!" While they're initially excited about their summer, they soon learn that Kamp Krusty is a run-down prison run by the tyrannical Mr. Black and his C.I.T. henchmen, Dolph, Kearney and Jimbo Jones. Worse yet, instead of sports and arts-and-crafts, the kids are expected to pass their days sewing counterfeit wallets. The only thing that gets Bart through this ordeal is the hope that Krusty himself will visit, but when that doesn't happen, the kids lead a rebellion against Mr. Black and take over the camp. With Bart as their leader, the kids speak to the media and reveal what a sham Kamp Krusty is. Meanwhile, with Bart and Lisa away from home, Homer and Marge are getting in touch with their relationship. Homer feels so good, he's even losing some weight and growing some hair. This all changes when he sees Bart on TV, condemning Krusty and his ramshackle camp. In the end, Krusty apologizes to the campers and takes them on a trip to Tijuana.
Marge is cast in the role of Blanche DuBois in Oh! Streetcar, the musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire directed by the flamboyant Llewellyn Sinclair at the Springfield Community Center. Homer isn't very supportive of Marge's interest in acting, so she uses her anger towards him for inspiration in some of the play's more emotional moments. Acting opposite Ned Flanders as Stanley Kowalski, Marge gets so absorbed in her role that at one point she nearly slashes Ned with a broken bottle. Meanwhile, Maggie has been placed in day care at the Ayn Rand School for Tots and leads a rebellion against the strict teachers. Watching Marge perform in the play, Homer is moved and realizes he should have been more supportive.
One Sunday morning, Homer decides that he'd rather sleep late than go to church. Marge is disappointed, but doesn't argue with him. While home alone, Homer dances in his underwear, drinks waffle batter and loafs around watching TV. Having thoroughly enjoyed his morning, Homer decides to forgo church for good and start his own religion. Marge doesn't approve, but that night Homer has a dream in which God visits him and expresses his acceptance of Homer's new religion. While home on Sunday, worshipping in his own special way by reading Playdude and smoking cigars, Homer causes a fire that nearly destroys the house. Ned Flanders is the only one who can save Homer's life, and after speaking with Reverend Lovejoy, Homer realizes that he should give up his religion and return to church.
To help Lisa get over her insecurities about her looks, Homer enters her into the Little Miss Springfield Pageant. At first, Lisa looks down on the event, but when she becomes first runner-up after Amber Dempsey, Lisa begins to like being a beauty queen. Soon thereafter, Amber is struck by lightning and Lisa is crowned the official Little Miss Springfield, an honor she relishes until she discovers that she must sit atop a parade float sponsored by Laramie cigarettes. Lisa denounces smoking and then goes on a rant about college money going to sports and not the arts. The mayor finally gets Lisa dethroned because of a boner by Homer but in the end, they can't strip Lisa of her newfound confidence.
In this year's scarifying special, the Simpsons gather for a Halloween party and exchange ghost stories. Clown Without Pity; In the first tale, told by Lisa, Homer buys Bart a talking Krusty doll with a few glitches: It tries to kill Homer with a knife and strangle him to death. No one believes that the doll is really trying to kill Homer, but when Marge calls the toy company's customer service numbers, it is revealed that the doll was accidentally set to 'evil' instead of 'good.' King Homer; In the next story, told by Grandpa, Homer plays King Kong to Marge's Fay Wray. Mr. Burns plays a maniacal millionaire who plunders the jungle in search of mythical giant gorilla. The gorilla falls in love with the millionaire's beautiful assistant and carries her to the top of the Empire State building. After a messy confrontation with the army, the gorilla and the girl get married and live happily ever after. Dial "Z" For Zombie; Finally, Bart tells a story in which a spell from a book of witchcraft bring Springfield's dead to life. The only thing that can send them back to their graves is the right spell.
We start on Parent Teacher Night where Lisa is given praise by Miss Hoover towards Homer while Marge sits and listens to Bart's rap sheet. Mrs. Krabappel suggests discipline for Bart but Bart always makes the parents feel bad. The new Itchy & Scratchy movie comes out, but Bart is the only one who's not allowed to see it. Marge and Homer ground Bart for his bad behavior, making him miss the most important movie of his life. Bart starts to get depressed but in a vision of the future in which he becomes a Supreme Court Justice, Homer imagines seeing a revival of the movie with Bart.
When the Simpsons' house begins sliding off its foundation, Marge is forced to get a job to help make ends meet. Where else can she turn other than the Springfield nuclear power plant, where she gets promptly hired. Meanwhile, Bart is up to his test-avoiding self but to no avail. While on the job, Marge catches the eye--and the heart--of Mr. Burns, who falls madly in love with her. Bart writes his test while a wolf attacks him and nobody believes him but Willie. To impress her, he even hires her favorite singer, Tom Jones, to serenade her, but Marge rejects all of her boss' advances and so Burns fires Marge. Marge hires Lionel Hutz to defend her but 10 lawyers for Burns makes Lionel flee. Homer stands up for Marge and they both see Tom Jones.
Evergreen Terrace welcomes two new neighbors, Ruth Powers and her lovely teenage daughter, Laura. Bart falls hard for Laura, but she thinks of him as just a little friend. Heartbroken, Bart has to watch as the girl he loves starts dating Jimbo Jones. One night while Laura is babysitting Bart, Lisa and Maggie, Bart devises a way to get revenge on Jimbo, who also happens to be over the house. Bart prank calls Moe's Tavern one last time and claims to be Jimbo and gives his address. Moe charges over to kill Jimbo, but when the little bully starts to cry, Moe reconsiders and leaves. Laura reconsiders, too, breaking up with Jimbo and does a prank call with Bart.
At the auto show, Homer impulsively buys a snow plow and starts a business as Mr. Plow. An incredibly snowy winter sets the business rolling, making Homer a success and earning him the key to the city from Mayor Quimby. All is well until Barney sets up a rival business as the Plow King and wipes the streets with Homer. To cut out his competition, Homer calls Barney under an assumed name and dispatches the Plow King to clear a path on forbidding Widow's Peak. Barney foolishly drives up there and is caught under an avalanche. Only Homer can save him from an icy death and both men agree to work together as a team. Right at that moment, the sun bursts out and all the snow in Springfield melts into puddles, leaving them both without livelihoods.
While trying to get Maggie to say her first words, Marge tells Bart and Lisa about what they were like as babies. In flashback, we see that Bart's first words were "aye carumba." When Lisa was born, Homer hoped that her first word would be "daddy," but instead she said "Bart," which always secretly broke Homer's heart. Back in the present, as Homer puts Maggie to bed, he tells her that it's okay that she doesn't speak yet. Homer leaves the room and Maggie utters the word that he's been longing to hear, "Daddah."
In a series of terrifying X-ray shots of Homer's chest, we see that his heart is dangerously clogged with plaque and doughnut residue and that he is in need of a triple bypass operation. The operation costs $40,000, but Homer cannot afford that much, so he goes to Dr. Nick Riviera, who agrees to do the operation for $129.95. During the operation, Dr. Nick loses his nerve and only Lisa, who has been studying the heart, can talk him through the procedure. Homer recovers and is able to live a long, doughnut-filled life.
Mr. Burns is forced to pay a $3 million fine for illegally dumping toxic waste under trees in the park. At a town meeting where Springfield's citizens discuss how to best use the new funds, Lyle Lanley, a charismatic traveling salesman convinces them to build a completely useless monorail. Marge is the only one in town who disapproves of the project and when the monorail is complete disaster, her reservations are proved correct.
Aunt Selma realizes that she might wind up dying all alone and thinks that having a baby can relieve her loneliness. To test her maternal instincts, she takes Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens, an amusement park, where she realizes that parenthood isn't all it's cracked up to be. At the park, Lisa gets high by drinking the water in the Little Land of Duff ride, and Bart misbehaves in his own unique way. Shaken by the experience, Selma is pleased to have no kids of her own and accepts her life and everyone in it, including Jub Jub, her pet iguana.
When Homer leaves Bart waiting in the pouring rain after soccer practice, he must earn back his son's love. Bart expresses his anger by going to a Big Brother program and claiming to be an abandoned child so he can get a new "father." He's paired with Tom, a motorcycle-riding fighter pilot who spoils him. To get revenge on Bart, Homer signs up to be a Big Brother and "adopts" Pepi, a needy child. When Homer and Tom clash over Bart, they fight viciously and Bart realizes how much his father loves him. Bart returns to Homer and Tom winds up adopting Pepi. On a side note, Lisa runs up $378.53 of phones calls to "The Corey Hotline."
Trying to be nice to Ralph Wiggum, Lisa gives him a Valentine's Day card. Ralph misinterprets the gesture and thinks that Lisa is in love with him. Soon, he begins to pursue her the only way he knows how: foolishly. Lisa tries to let him down nicely, but Ralph won't get the hint until she yells at him in front of a live television audience at the Krusty the Clown anniversary special. Heartbroken, Ralph channels his feelings into his performance as George Washington in his school's Presidents Day show. Ralph's acting is superb, and after a thunderous applause he is able to accept Lisa as just a friend.
Lisa conducts a secret experiment for the Springfield Elementary School science fair to see who's smarter, Bart or a hamster. Meanwhile, Homer is forced to swear off beer after being arrested on a D.U.I. Bart realizes what Lisa is doing and ruins her plans for the science fair by winning first prize for his own, more sensational, hamster experiment. Homer manages to stay off of beer for an entire month and, instead of drinking to celebrate his sobriety, he decides to stay on the wagon and enjoy a bike ride with Marge.
Homer finds himself filling in for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant's union leader when it comes time to negotiate their new contract with Mr. Burns. Homer is a tough negotiator, despite not knowing the first thing about union organizing, and forces Burns to accept the union's demands on the condition that Homer be removed as leader.
Bart's April Fools' prank backfires and lands Homer in the hospital in a coma. At Homer's bedside, The Simpson family reminisces about all of the good times they've had over the years. A half-hour of precious screen time is filled with clips you've seen before and Homer eventually emerges from his coma.
Convinced they can write better Itchy & Scratchy scripts than the writers who currently work on the cartoon, Bart and Lisa set out to write their own shows. Their scripts are rejected by Roger Meyers, the show's producer, until Bart and Lisa use Grandpa's name as their pseudonym. As "Abraham Simpson," the kids are hired to write for the show and eventually win an Emmy award for their work. At the awards, Grandpa accepts his Emmy from Brooke Shields, but goes up to the podium and makes a rambling, anti-cartoon speech that gets him fired.
Everyone in Springfield is excited for Whacking Day, but as the holiday approaches, Lisa condemns it as violent. Whacking Day is a decade-long tradition which calls for the townspeople to beat snakes to death with sticks. Lisa decides to save the snakes with the help of Whacking Day's honorary MC, Barry White, who uses his sonorous bass vocal style to lure the snakes to safety, where no one can whack them.
Marge gets busted for shoplifting at the Kwik-E-Mart and is sentenced to thirty days in prison. Bart concocts a brilliant scheme to break her out that involves a party dress, a wig and a crowbar. But what finally springs Marge is the rioting townspeople of Springfield, who desperately need the inmate's patented marshmallow squares for the Springfield Park Commission's annual bake sale.
After the most successful advertising campaign Springfield has ever seen, The Krusty the Clown show gets bumped in the ratings by Arthur Crandall, a droll ventriloquist, and Gabbo, his excitable dummy. Gabbo is a huge hit, and Krusty's show is cancelled as a result of falling ratings. Bart and Lisa enlist the help of Krusty's Hollywood pals like Hugh Hefner, Bette Midler, Elizabeth Taylor, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and others to save his show. After an emotional TV special, Krusty's show is brought back for good.
The Simpson family goes to a town swap meet. The kids look through some old records and find an album with Homer's picture on it. They ask Homer about it and he tells them a story from eight years past. He performed in a barbershop quartet with Principal Skinner, Chief Wiggum, and Apu. An agent approaches Homer. If they want to be big, they have to kick Wiggum out of the band. They hold auditions for the replacements. Abe, Willie, and Wiggum (yes, Wiggum) all fail the audition. They find their man in Barney. The band becomes incredibly popular. They name themselves "The Be Sharps." The family drives home from the sale. When Homer gets a flat, he continues the story. They record a song that Homer wrote which goes through the roof. The band goes on tour and Homer has to pretend he is not married, because young Swedish ladies want to have sex with him. They return to the States and dozens of journalist's interview them at a press conference, just like The Beatles. They perform for President Reagan and Johnny Carson. Even Joan Rivers make jokes about Wiggum on TV. The band wins a Grammy and Homer even meets George Harrison. Homer misses his family while he's on the road. With the flat tire repaired, the family is back at home, as Homer continues to tell his story. The band marketed a lot of terrible merchandise. Lisa wonders why the band isn't still popular. Homer's songs started to get really awful and Barney got an Asian girlfriend and turned into a beatnik artist. "The Be Sharps" decide to break up. Barney returns to the bar. Homer returns to his job at the plant (apparently, a chicken had filled in for him while he was gone). The kids have more questions, but alas, it is bedtime for Bart and Lisa. The four "Be Sharps" reunite on the roof of Moe's and perform again. George Harrison rides by in a limo to take a gander, citing "It's been done". Chief Wiggum tells his officers to break out the tear gas.
The mail comes and Bart gets a threatening letter and he suspects everybody. Marge goes to the police and we soon find out that Sideshow Bob has been writing the threats in prison. Sideshow Bob is up for parole and his parole is granted and he soon meets up with the Simpson family in a movie theater. They look into security systems and hired goons to get rid of him. When that fails, they go into witness protection program. Homer wants to be John Elway, but instead they become the Thompsons of Terror Lake. They move onto a houseboat and wear Witness Relocation Program T-shirts and hats. Sideshow Bob stows away under their car and goes with them. He meets up with Bart and vows to get his revenge. Bob later ties up the rest of the Thompson family and sets his sight on Bart. Bart asks him to sing the entire score from the "HMS Pinafore" before he kills him. The stalling tactic works when he sings for so long that the boat drifts back to Springfield. The Springfield police apprehend Sideshow Bob and the Thompsons can return home. They return to find that Abe has somehow turned into a woman by his not taking his pills.
Homer fails a competency test and must go back to college to keep his job. Homer applies at a bunch of colleges, but they all reject him. Mr. Burns gets him into a local college. Homer has a preconceived notion of what college is like, based on 1980s films. His mortal enemies are nerds and the crusty, old Dean. Homer is especially stupid in this episode, so he doesn't notice that just about everyone there is a nerd. (The only exception is the Dean, who is actually a cool guy.) Homer causes a near meltdown on campus, so the Dean finds him three tutors. They are mega nerds, so Homer resolves to show them how to party. They pull a prank on a nearby college, which gets the three nerds expelled (but not Homer). They move in with the Simpsons and drive Bart, Lisa, and Marge crazy. Homer resolves to get them back in college with another crazy stunt. Homer tries to run over the Dean with his car, as the plan is to have the nerds save the Dean. The Dean will be so thankful that he will readmit them. The prank does not work and Homer seriously injures the Dean. The Dean is so nice that he readmits them anyway. The end of the semester approaches, and Homer has no chance of passing. The nerds help him study, but again, Homer is very stupid in this episode. He fails the final. The nerds change his grade with a computer to an A . Marge finds out that Homer cheated and makes him retake the class. He will try once again to teach the nerds how to party down.
Mr. Burns has a dream about his lost toy bear, Bobo. He gave it up in his childhood along with his innocence. His birthday approaches and Smithers is organizing a banquet. Homer is at the plant one day making an ass of himself (as usual), when Mr. Burns gets an idea. He invites Homer to perform comedy at the party. Homer starts writing his material, mainly consisting of roast-like insults. All of the employees show up for the birthday bash, where The Ramones perform. They get Mr. Burns really angry. Before bringing out Homer, Smithers tells everyone that a small collie was just run over in the parking lot. Homer's act bombs and security beats him up. Mr. Burns kicks everyone out and longs once more for his Bobo. A montage shows the travels of the stuffed bear. Who has it now? Why Maggie Simpson does. When the news reports that Mr. Burns wants to find his bear, Homer realizes that he can sell it. He wants to negotiate and make as much money as possible. When Mr. Burns offers a million dollars and three Hawaiian islands, they seem to have a deal. When Maggie will not give up the bear, Homer has to turn him down. Mr. Burns and Smithers go to break into the Simpsons house and their attempt turns out to be unsuccessful. Mr. Burns punishes Homer at work and Homer feels tortured at his decision. Mr. Burns takes over every television station and then stops beer delivery to Springfield. The town turns on the Simpson family. As a last resort, Mr. Burns goes to negotiate with Maggie directly. She gives Mr. Burns the bear and Mr. Burns vows to be nice to everyone from now on. What will the future hold for Mr. Burns and Bobo?
With a Night Gallery style opening, Bart introduces three tales. a). "The Devil and Homer Simpson" Homer falls asleep, while Carl and Lenny eat all the doughnuts. When he realizes that all the nearest doughnuts are gone, he sells his soul for a doughnut. The devil comes up and signs a contract with him, causing more mischief than Homer thought. b). "Terror at 5 1/2 Feet" Bart dreams about his death on the schoolbus, and later realizes, that his dream is starting to become real when he is the only one to see a gremlin taking down the bus piece by piece. c). "Bart Simpson's Dracula" Mr. Burns is a vampire and Bart falls victim to his bite, Lisa convinces the rest of the family they must go to his castle and put an end to the curse.
Marge pledges money to PBS and gets tickets to the ballet and Homer goes with her against his wishes. When he gets his arm caught in two vending machines, he has to cancel. Marge asks her next-door neighbor, Ruth, to go in his place and has a terrific time with her. Meanwhile Homer is still at work hours later. Homer eventually returns home and has an argument with Marge about her new friend. She and Ruth have another girls' night out a few days later. Homer gets a baby-sitter for the children, Lionel Hutz and then he decides to go out and have some fun on his own. Marge and Ruth are having a wild night, while Homer's night has turned to crap. Chief Wiggum gives Homer a ride home, but they end up in a chase after Ruth and Marge, because Ruth is driving a stolen car. Marge tries to talk Ruth out of it, but after they lose the fuzz, Marge elects to stay with Ruth in her run from the law for the rest of the night. The high speed chase has begun again and Bart and Lisa see Marge on TV when the chase gains TV coverage. In the style of "Thelma & Louise" Ruth and Marge's high speed chase heads towards a chasm. Chief Wiggum and Homer fly their police car into a bunch of solid waste. In the end a "Dragnet" style voiceover tells what happens to each character.
Homer sees an ad in the paper for a trampoline and he goes to Krusty's and picks it up. The kids love it and he charges the neighbors to use it. When all the children get injured on it, Marge makes him get rid of it. He pushes it off a cliff, a la Wile E. Coyote. Homer and Marge have an argument in which he says that Marge is no fun. With this realization, she gets very angry and goes to her sisters'. Patty and Selma show her a self-help video. When Marge starts looking at the self-help information with Homer their relationship improves. They go to a seminar with the kids. Bart acts out while there and the lecturer brings him on stage. The guru tells the town that Bart is the "inner child" that they should all strive to be. Lisa of course is skeptical, thinking that the guru is just selling easy answers, but the town is buying it. So much so, they hold a "do what you feel" festival. It breaks out into a riot when everybody starts to act irresponsibly and the "be like Bart" era comes to an end. We end with the Simpsons watching the newest episode of "MacArnagle" together.
Homer drops a peanut and finds $20 while looking for it under the couch. It later flies out the window, into the possession of Bart and Milhouse. They buy a very sugary beverage from Apu, and run wild in downtown Springfield. Bart wakes with no memory of his journey, soon finding out that he has joined the Junior Campers. This is a group of nerds at school, but soon Bart fits right in with them as they get out of quizzes and get to play with knives. There is a father-son outing, and Bart and Homer go together. Their relationship is not very good at the time, and they end up on a raft with the Flanderesses. As usual Homer screws up and they journey into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and nearly starve to death. The rest of the Junior Campers end up in a sequence out of "Deliverance." Homer, Bart, and the Flanders smell hamburgers and come across a fast food place on an offshore oil rig.
Bart and Milhouse pull a prank at school and Bart discovers that his vision is worsening. At the power plant, Mr. Burns violates labor laws, so he has to hire a woman. Bart has a lazy eye, so he has to wear big Harry Carey style glasses. He also has to use salve on his scalp, wear big, clumsy shoes, and use a weird throat spray. The plant workers meet Mindy, the new employee and Homer falls for her instantly. Bart looks like a nerd and everyone is picking on him. Homer is daydreaming about Mindy and he asks for advice on how to get rid of his fantasies. As he gets to know Mindy, he gets even more infatuated with her. She is just like him and she likes him, too. Homer tries unsuccessfully to avoid her, since everything reminds him of her. There seems to be no reason not to make love to her. Bart's troubles lead him to a secret society of nerds. Homer decides to talk to Mindy to try to clear the air, but the situation is complicated when Mr. Burns sends the two of them on a business trip together and they share adjoining rooms. Bart is able to return to his non-nerd self, but the bullies still pick on him anyway. Homer is having trouble avoiding temptation and Mindy is ripe for the picking. He manages to turn her down and invites Marge to his hotel room. She finds a turkey behind the bed, sweetening his decision not to cheat on her.
Springfield (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying & Love Legalized Gambling)
Decades ago, Abe and Jasper watch a newsreel. In today's Springfield, much has changed for the worse. Henry Kissinger visits Mr. Burns at the plant and drops his glasses in the toilet. Homer comes upon them and starts wearing them, thinking that they will make him smarter. Kent Brockman does a story on rising unemployment. The town has a meeting to solve their problems. They decide to legalize casino gambling. In a shock to everyone, Marge has no moral objection to this. Mr. Burns builds a casino on the waterfront. He remembers his old times on the waterfront and chuckles for old days at the thought of crippling an Irishman. People pitch ideas for the casino's theme. Mr. Burns is unsatisfied, so he names it Mr. Burns' Casino. Lisa has an upcoming project due, in which she has to dress up as the state of Florida; Marge promises to help her. Homer becomes a dealer at the casino. Bart gambles at the casino, but security kicks him out. So Bart decides to start his own casino in the tree house. Marge goes to see Homer at the casino and she and Homer start to argue. In a bizarre twist, she starts playing the slot machines and stops paying attention to her children. Mr. Burns watches the casino on security cameras and he starts to become afraid of germs a la Howard Hughes. Back at the Simpson home, Marge has not returned home for a week and Lisa has not started working on her project. Homer has run out of food and is terrible at taking care of the kids. Mr. Burns designs an airplane and has clearly gone insane. Marge finally returns home to find the house in shambles. She promises to help Lisa with the costume for the geography pageant. Bart gets Robert Goulet to perform at his tree house casino. Unfortunately Marge returns to the slots; leaving Homer to help Lisa with her costume. He makes her one that says "Floreda." He finally realizes that Marge has a gambling problem and he goes to see her. He raises hell at the casino and Marge finally admits that she has a problem and vows to quit.
A cat burglar robs everyone on Evergreen Terrace, including Lisa. He even leaves his business card. Homer gives Lisa a jug to replace her sax. When she is unsatisfied with the jug, he vows to get it back for her. The police are far too incompetent to get anywhere, so Flanders starts a neighborhood watch. Homer becomes the leader and lets the power go to his head. He does not let Abe join. They beat unruly people with sacks of doorknobs and commit other crimes. The burglar steals a jewel from the museum, from under Homer's watch. Abe figures out it was his neighbor, Mulloy. Upon his arrest, Mulloy charms everyone. Homer mocks him in his cell and Mulloy tells everyone that he hid a large sum of money underneath a tree. They all rush to the location and dig for it, finding nothing. Mulloy uses this time to escape from prison.
Bart's class visits the box factory, where the tour bores the children to tears. Next door to the factory is Krusty's TV studio; so Bart sneaks away from the tour and goes to the studio. Principal Skinner calls Homer to tell him that Bart is missing. When Bart brings Krusty a danish…Krusty hires him as his assistant. He goes home and tells the family about his new job. Krusty soon starts working him to death. Just as he is about to quit, Krusty tells him that he needs him to be on the show. Bart screws up his line and says, "I didn't do it." The audience just loves it and it becomes Bart's catch phrase. He soon records an album and has a chat line. Lisa makes Bart realize that his fame is just an obnoxious fad. Bart is going to be on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, so he practices some intelligent conversation to be more multi-dimensional. When that does not work, he embraces his identity. On the next show, he finds that his catch phrase has worn out and his fame is over.
Apu sells Homer expired ham and Homer gets food poisoning. Then he sells him spoiled shrimp and again Homer gets food poisoning. Lisa convinces him to do an undercover story with Channel 6 to expose Apu's practices. Homer wears a large novelty hat with a camera in it. The hat captures Apu selling filthy hot dogs. Homer goes back in and purchases one. When the report airs, Apu loses his job. Apu is very ashamed, but goes to Homer's house to apologize to him. Apu vows to repay his debt to Homer by doing chores. Kwik-E-Mart interviews people to replace Apu and actor James Woods gets the job to prepare for his role to play a convenience store clerk. Apu seems to love living with the Simpson family, but secretly he wants to return to his old job. When Homer finds this out, he decides to travel with Apu to India where Apu plans to plead for his job. Homer screws it up for him and Apu is very angry with him. Back in Springfield Apu goes back to his old Kwik-E-Mart and meets James Woods. Woods has idolized Apu after studying the old security tapes. During a robbery, Apu saves Woods' life and in return James Woods helps to get Apu his old job back.
Abe realizes that he is no spring chicken and he gives the family their inheritance before he dies. They immediately go to the mall to spend it. Lisa uses her portion to buy a talking Malibu Stacy doll, but when she pulls the string, she is very disappointed in what it says. It spouts nothing but sexist things. Abe decides to recapture his youth and he gets a job at a fast food restaurant. Lisa goes to complain to the Malibu Stacy company executives, but it doesn't work. She finds out from Smithers where she can find the creator of Malibu Stacy. She meets with her and together they decide to create a feminist doll. When the day comes to sell the doll in stores, the Malibu Stacy company comes out with a new version of the same old doll. Girls pass up the new Lisa Lionheart doll in favor of Malibu Stacy with a new hat. Abe decides to quit his job, so he can make complaints rather than take them.
At the plant, Homer never gets to be employee of the month; they even choose an inanimate carbon rod over him. At NASA the ratings are down, so they begin a campaign to recruit an everyday loser for the next pointless mission. Naturally, Homer and Barney are among the finalists. The family gets to go to Florida while they train. Barney is kicking Homer's butt, but alcoholism ends his quest. Homer gets really nervous about the mission. He will go with two former astronauts, so he can't screw up like he always does, right? Nope! He brings potato chips into space and wreaks havoc on the mission. James Taylor comes up with a plan to save them, but Homer screws up again. An inanimate carbon rod finally saves them for their reentry. Homer once again fails to get any recognition, because a rod takes the spotlight.
Homer wants to see a big football game and Flanders asks if Homer would like to go with him. Homer tries to avoid the scenario, but ends up accepting the offer. Springfield wins the big game. When Flanders shows him a good time at the game, Homer begins to try to hang out with him constantly. Homer starts to neglect his family and Flanders feels a little uneasy with Homer as his best friend. Homer unites the two families for a weekend boating getaway. Homer starts a food fight, making Flanders really annoyed and Homer continues to get on Flanders' nerves in the coming days and he really creeps out old Neddy. Flanders feels like a hypocrite for beginning to hate him. Flanders tries to escape Homer in his car and gets pulled over by Chief Wiggum. When Reverend Lovejoy sees this, he devotes his sermon to the misbehavior of Ned Flanders; Homer, meanwhile, gets praise. At the church, Flanders blows up at Homer and everyone turns on him, but Homer defends Flanders in a speech. They are friends forever, but will their relationship be the same next week?
Marge has the family clean the house. Bart listens to the radio and wins his choice of a prize in a radio contest, $10,000 or an elephant. He chooses the elephant. He names the elephant Stampy and falls in love with him. The family neglects the other pets because Stampy demands so much time and money. Homer tries to make money off the elephant, but cannot pay Stampy's food bill. He lets slack-jawed yokels gawk at Stampy. (This is the debut of Cletus.) Homer tries to sell him. Mr. Blackheart, an ivory dealer, gives the best deal. Homer and Marge wake in the middle of the night to find Bart and Stampy missing. Bart runs away with Stampy to save his pet. Homer and the family go to find them at a museum exhibit, and Homer falls into a tar pit. Stampy saves Homer, so Homer decides to give him to an animal refuge. Once there, Stampy reveals himself to be a jerk to the other elephants and Homer reveals himself to be a jerk to the refuge supervisor.
Burns watches as Homer cleans the plant as a human chimney sweep. Later Burns nearly drowns in his bathtub when Smithers neglects him. He makes the realization that he has no heir. Smithers would like Burns to consider him, but Burns has other ideas. He announces before a movie that he will hold auditions for his heir. All of Springfield's children show up, but Burns hates all of them. Bart's audition goes terribly when Homer writes down his speech on index cards. (Homer is so dumb in this episode that he cannot even form grammatical sentences.) Bart comes back at night and vandalizes his mansion. Burns is impressed with Bart's destructive side, so he makes him his heir. Burns is still all alone, so Bart agrees to come and stay with him. Burns likes Bart a lot, but Bart thinks Burns is creepy. When Bart returns home, he is bored and he goes back to Burns. Burns tries to trick Bart into thinking that his real family no longer loves him. He does this by hiring famous actors to play his family, but Bart has trouble keeping friends and is lonely. At the plant Burns fires people for kicks and he tries to make Bart fire his father, but Bart proves his loyalty to his family and opens a trap door under Burns.
Bart doesn't have anything for show-and-tell, so he brings his dog to school. Santa's Little Helper finds his way into the ventilation ducts and starts wreaking havoc. Principal Skinner sends Willie after him and Superintendent Chalmers shows up just in time to see that Skinner has lost control. He fires Skinner and obtains a replacement. The new principal is none other than Ned Flanders! Bart starts to feel guilty about ruining Skinner's life and he befriends him. Meanwhile, Flanders turns out to be quite a pushover as principal and Bart misses the challenge that Skinner offered as principal. Skinner reenlists in the Army and Bart tries to get Skinner his job back by getting Flanders fired. Skinner leaves the Army when Superintendent Chalmers hears Flanders preaching the word of God to the school and fires him. When Skinner returns he and Bart are back to being enemies.
We begin with Bart and Lisa heading to school. Bart is bored in class, so he forges a note from Marge to cut class and goes to see "Boobarama." Meanwhile, Skinner is trying to track him down after becoming suspicious of the note. Bart narrowly escapes his grasp by stowing away in Quimby's nephew's car. At a Quimby party, the nephew gets in an argument with a waiter. Bart witnesses the waiter clumsily injuring himself. No one else sees it, so the waiter claims Quimby's nephew assaulted him. The trial is a media event, but Bart cannot come forward or Skinner will give him detention. The jury consists of Homer, Skinner, Apu, et cetera. Homer is an incompetant juror and wants to be sequestered at the city's nicest hotel. After watching "MacArnagle," Bart decides to come forward to the Judge. Bart's testimony frees the innocent Quimby, but gets him four months of detention.
It is Maggie's birthday, so the whole family gathers to celebrate. Abe seems especially pathetic and lonely and Marge decides to set him up with her mother, who has the same problem. They hit it off, or so Abe thinks. Bart decides to order a souvenir from "Itchy & Scratchy," so he steals Homer's wallet but the item turns out to be a waste of $350. Abe soon falls in love. He wants to impress Marge's mother by taking her out on the town, but when he does, she falls for Mr. Burns. Abe is heartbroken. When Mr. Burns come over to the Simpsons' house to pick her up for a date we learn that Marge is against her mother's new love interest. Bart gets $350 out of Mr. Burns which he uses to pay Homer back. Mr. Burns asks for his love's hand in marriage, but when the wedding date arrives, Abe breaks up the ceremony. Marge's mother leaves with him, although she is not in love with Abe OR Mr. Burns. We get a loose, yet obvious, homage to "The Graduate", complete with a Simon & Garfunkel parody.
Homer plays poker with the guys and as usual, he wins without realizing it. Carl says Homer is a little slow. The next morning he talks to the family about it. He realizes that he indeed might be a little on the slow side. Marge recommends that he take an adult education course. He marches down to the adult education annex, where Lenny is teaching people how to spit. That makes Homer realize that he can be a teacher. When he talks to the head guy, he finds that there is an opening for a class on having a successful marriage. Homer thinks he can get away with anything as a teacher. When he stands before his class, he has absolutely no lesson plan. Class members tell him about their problems, hoping for advice, but Homer has none to offer. The class collectively gets up to leave, but they stay when Homer starts to gossip about Marge. Marge discovers this when everyone in the town knows her personal secrets. She confronts Homer about it and he promises to stop, but he goes on telling her secrets anyway. He has the class come to watch Homer and the family's interaction during dinner. The kids and Marge are horrified. Marge kicks the class out...including Homer. Homeless, he camps out in Bart's tree house. Bart and Milhouse find Homer scrubbing his underwear the next day. Marge doesn't want to divorce him, but she is incredibly angry. Homer creates a replacement for Marge. It is a plant with a paper plate for a face. He accidentally destroys it and longs for the flesh Marge again. Moe comes by to declare his interest in Marge. She turns him down, but invites him in for a glass of water. Homer comes into the house with flowers he picked. When Moe sees him, he jumps out the window. Marge decides to take Homer back because he is so pathetic. His clothes are in tatters after one day without her and he is filthy. The family is glad to have him back, even if Moe isn't.
It is really hot and the Simpson family does not have air conditioning. They try to live in a tent beside the refrigerator, but that does not work. Otto drives by with a traveling swimming pool. This gives Bart and Lisa the idea to hound Homer for a pool which they relentlessly do until he caves in and buys them one. All the kids in the neighborhood come by to use it. Bart tries to jump from his tree house into the pool, but winds up breaking his leg. He will have to spend the rest of the summer in a cast, so there will be no more swimming for him. He watches as Lisa becomes incredibly popular. Bart finds himself a new hobby by spying on the neighborhood with Lisa's telescope. While looking out the "Rear Window" of the house, Bart thinks he's seen Flanders commit a murder. He gets Lisa to break into Flanders' house and look for clues. He watches as Flanders returns home with an axe. He goes to help her, broken leg and all. Then Flanders tells them that Maude has been away with the kids, but now she is back.
Lisa wants to practice her saxophone because she is auditioning for first chair in the school band. A new student named Allison enters her class. Allison was skipped ahead a grade by Principal Skinner. Lisa is really jealous of her and is horrified to learn that Allison is going for first chair saxophone, too. Meanwhile, Homer and Bart find an overturned truck full of sugar. Homer fills up his car with it. Lisa loses her quest for first chair and Allison becomes the new smart girl at school, making Lisa feel terrible. When Lisa tries to befriend her, it does not work. Bart helps her think of a way to beat Allison at an upcoming diorama contest. Homer guards his sugar pile in the backyard and he is completely paranoid about an Englishman trying to steal it to put it into his tea. Instead bees find his stash. Beekeepers come to get them back. When it rains, Homer's sugar pile melts into the ground. Bart and Lisa manage to sabotage Allison's project, but Lisa can't go through with it. Neither of them wins the contest anyway; first place goes to Ralph Wiggum. The three smart kids, Lisa, Allison, and Ralph, walk home together.
Bart and Lisa see an advertisement for a new theme park, "Itchy & Scratchyland". They beg their parents to go, but Marge resists. She remembers all the times that Homer has ruined family vacations. Eventually she caves in and they hit the road. The park is very violent, raising Marge's old concerns. There are robot parades and terrifying rides. Homer and Marge agree to split up with Bart and Lisa. When some slack-jawed yokel takes a picture of a robot, it goes crazy and starts running amok. Security captures Bart after he abuses the costumed Itchy characters. When they put him in a cell, he sees Homer there. Homer is in for the same crime. The robots in the park all start to malfunction and go crazy. When security frees Homer and Bart, they get in a confrontation with the robots. Everyone else has left the park, so it's up to them to win back the theme park. They use cameras to beat the robots. The Simpson family returns home unscathed and watch an "Itchy & Scratchy" cartoon.
Homer has been listening to a conservative radio talk show host. One day Sideshow Bob calls in from prison, voicing his conservative views. The host, Barlow, gets Sideshow Bob released from prison. Upon Sideshow Bob's release, the town's Republicans want him to run for mayor against Quimby. Bob outwits Quimby in every debate and wins by a huge landslide. Lisa is skeptical (as usual) about how he did it, so she investigates. Meanwhile, Homer has problems with the gang from Riverdale. Sideshow Bob imposes a few new policies. For one he condemns the Simpsons' house to help make way for the new Matlock Expressway, much to the delight of the seniors. Second, he gets Bart placed in kindergarten. Lisa discovers how Sideshow Bob won the election: he had dead people vote for him. He admits to all of this when Bart and Lisa outwit him in front of the town. Sideshow Bob goes back to prison.
a)."The Shinning" The family become caretakers of an estate in the mountains, where no beer and television make Homer go crazy. b)."Time & Punishment" Homer fixes the toaster and it becomes a time machine. While visiting the past, he kills a bug, which affects the future in a big way. c)."Nightmare Cafeteria" Principal Skinner finds a solution to his overcrowding problem and the quality of meat in the cafeteria.
The parents stop the kids in the middle of their game and bring them to church. Bart sees Lovejoy's daughter, Jessica and it's love at first sight for him. He tries to impress her, even by trying to become a good person, but nothing is working. So he goes back to being the devil's cabana boy and pulls a prank on Willie. This is what impresses Jessica, so she invites him over for dinner. The Lovejoys do not like him, especially after talking about last night's episode of Martin. This makes Jessica like him even more. They hang out together and behave badly, but she pretends not to know him in public. Jessica is using him, but he will do anything to please her, but it begins to depress him. He vows to quit seeing her, but he just can't help himself. Of Jessica and Bart, he is the lesser of two evils, especially when Jessica pins the blame on him after she steals the church's collection plate. The congregation chases him and Jessica won't come forward; it's up to Lisa to tell everyone that it was Jessica that stole the plate. The plate is found in Jessica's room, Jessica continues on making men do whatever she wants.
Bart has to give a report, but Skinner calls all the students down for an assembly. He passes out slips that tell the students if they are failing. To Lisa's horror, she is failing gym. She has to join an outside sports program to pass. They all go to see Bart play hockey under Chief Wiggum and Homer is one of those hyper-competitive dads. Apu is the coach of the opposing team, and he thinks that Lisa has similar talent to Bart's. He makes her his goalie and she is very good as she develops the "eye of the tiger" and the "mouth of a teamster," and she soon makes her team a winner. Now that Lisa is a popular jock, Bart tries to become a teacher's pet in school. When bullies beat him up, she saves him and he really begins to resent her. They get into a physical confrontation and they soon have to play each other on the ice. It is a huge game and everyone is there. As the game ends, they decide to stop trying to compete with each other. When the game ends in a tie, everyone riots and destroys the stadium.
After hiring a feminist babysitter, Homer and Marge go to a candy trade show. They smuggle out candy for the kids. Homer steals a rare piece of candy, but he can't find it when he gets home. When he gives the babysitter a ride home he sees the candy stuck to her posterior. When he grabs for it, she screams and runs away. He awakes the next morning to find protestors on his lawn and the babysitter leads them in a sexual harassment campaign. They make Homer's life a living hell. Homer does an interview for a tabloid TV show thinking that America will hear his case, but all they hear is what a complete jerk he is. FOX does a TV movie about him and he is depicted even worse in this portrayal. The news has around-the-clock coverage of the situation. The Simpson family does a public access show to clear his name, but it does not help his cause. Willie comes to Homer and shows him a video that he recorded of the night in question. Homer shows the babysitter and she realizes that she was wrong about him being an ass-grabber and the news admits that it was wrong about him, too. With all the forgiveness going on, Homer makes up with his TV set.
Homer is having trouble getting it on with Marge. They buy an audio book to rekindle their sex life, while Bart gets a book about the UFO conspiracy. Homer and Marge start trying the books ideas, but nothing works. Abe tells Homer of a home remedy that will give him an instant hard-on. After it works like a charm, Homer has the idea to market it. He and Abe pitch the tonic at malls to start and everyone begins buying it. The children begin to notice that all of their parents have disappeared. Homer and Abe then go on to neighboring towns and they start to get on each other's nerves. Bart and Milhouse start to form conspiracy theories as to where all the adults are. Abe and Homer go to their old house and relive the good old days. This puts them even more at odds and Homer deserts Abe. He is furious with him. Homer decides to spend more time with his kids. Abe gets Barney to replace Homer as he continues to pitch the product. Homer's half-assed over-parenting does not work very well on his kids. He goes back to the house for inspiration and meets back up with his father, but their loving reunion is soured when the house goes up in flames.
Homer gets banned from Moe's and while searching for a new place "where everybody knows his name" stumbles into an airport bar and ends up almost flying a plane after being mistaken for a pilot. The airline gives him free airline tickets so he won't tell anyone. He takes the family and Marge goes nutso on the plane. Back at home, she starts acting really crazy. Lisa wants her to go into therapy, but Homer is reluctant. He is afraid a shrink will tell Marge to leave him. He rents some videos for her, so she won't have to go into therapy. They are "Hero," "Fearless," and "Alive." Soon afterward she goes into therapy, which reveals that she's repressed something she saw her father do when she was a young girl. It turns out her father was a stewardess.
Homer has trouble with a plumber and at work he begins noticing that Lenny and Carl have a lot of mysterious privileges at work. Lenny keeps giving hints that they are part of a secret. Homer follows them one night when they go to their secret meeting place. Every male in Springfield that he knows is in the place. Lenny lets it slip that they are the Stonecutters and Homer wants to be a member. He discovers that Abe is a member, which means that he can easily become a member. They initiate him with painful rituals and he is member #908. As a Stonecutter, the plumber quickly fixes the leak in his basement and he gets a new parking space at work. When they celebrate a big occasion Homer desecrates a sacred parchment. As his punishment Homer is kicked out of the club and they take his clothes. Upon stripping him, they discover a birthmark. It is shaped like their logo, which means he must be the chosen one. They begin to worship him. They let him win at card games. Soon his life becomes meaningless and too easy. Lisa recommends that he begin helping people in the community using his new authority. The Stonecutters don't like helping people, so they form a new secret society, the "No Homers". As the only Stonecutter left, he begins feeling lonely. Marge makes him realize that he is part of a more exclusive club... the Simpson family.
Principal Skinner releases a weather balloon, but Bart turns it into an anti-Skinner prank. Principal Skinner is upset, so Bart's punishment is to help him log amateur astronomy sky coordinates. Bart gets up at 4:30 AM to assist Skinner. When Skinner steps away, Bart discovers a comet. The nerds of the school, super friends, soon embrace him. When they figure out that his comet is approaching Springfield and will annihilate the town, Professor Frink comes up with a plan to intercept the comet with a missile. Unfortunately the missile misses and destroys the only bridge out of town; the people of Springfield are doomed! The Flanders family let the Simpsons in their bomb shelter. The rest of the town asks Ned if they can come in as well. When the shelter is too full, one person has to leave, so they kick Ned Flanders out. Soon they feel guilty about it, so they all leave to die with him. The comet comes through the atmosphere and breaks apart due to all of Springfield's polluted clouds.
Onstage, Krusty entertains children with his antics on television; offstage, he spends money like a madman. Fat Tony shows up to his office and demands the money he is owed. Krusty has been gambling and his various products have been highly unsuccessful. At his accountant's advice him to regionalize, Krusty establishes a Clown College. Homer sees the billboard advertising the school and cannot get it out of his head. He starts seeing clowns everywhere. He even shapes his mashed potatoes into a clown tent. He enrolls in the classes. Krusty is his teacher, who gives absurd lectures, but Homer actually pays attention; although he can't seem to get the hang of Krusty's trademark trick with a small bicycle. Graduation day arrives. Graduates will serve as Krusty's doubles in regional promotions. Homer gets to do Springfield. He opens new fast food restaurants, performs at birthday parties, and co-hosts the "Ace" cable awards. Homer begins to dislike his new career and decides to quit, but then he realizes that looking like Krusty may have his advantages. He can get out of speeding tickets, get discounts from Apu, and get good deals at restaurants. Meanwhile, Krusty is making more foolish bets, such as betting everything against the Harlem Globetrotters. The mob takes over at the clown college. Fat Tony threatens to kill Krusty, but Krusty escapes. He goes with his capos to find Krusty. Meanwhile Homer, dressed as Krusty, is trying to get a good deal on a car. They keep trying to shoot him, but luckily for him, they miss. The real Krusty has plastic surgery, but he looks the same (except for his breasts). The mob kidnaps Homer and takes him to Don Vittorio, where they plan to kill him. They say they won't if he can do the bicycle trick. Krusty comes just in the nick of time and Homer and Krusty both do the trick together to avoid their execution. Don Vittorio and Krusty settle the outstanding debt.
Lisa explains the Coriolis Effect to Bart, but he does not believe it, so he makes a collect call to Australia to ask them about which way their water drains. When Bart doesn't hang up, Australia owes $900. They want Bart to pay, but he insults them. Bart soon gets dozens of letters in the mail. Then Australia indicts him for fraud. America wants to send him to Australia to make an apology. The family is sent to Australia, where they start exploring the culture. Bart makes his apology, but they want to give the additional punishment of a boot to his ass. Bart and Homer escape the booting and they try to run back to the embassy. Bart agrees to have them do the booting anyway, but instead he moons Australia. The Simpson family leaves the outraged country in a helicopter.
Homer invests in pumpkins and loses all his money. Bart is late for school, so he isn't able to sign up for the physical education class that he wants, the only class left is ballet. Homer struggles to pay his debts. Patty and Selma recently got promotions and raises at work and despite his blinding hatred for them; Homer asks Patty and Selma to lend him money. He can't let Marge know, so they blackmail and torture him. Bart finds that he has a knack for ballet and he learns to love it. Marge's sisters really push Homer's buttons but when Marge finds out, Homer feels ashamed. Bart feels a little ashamed, too, about his new talent. Homer decides to become a chauffeur to earn money and pay back his debt and one of his fares is Mel Brooks. When he gets pulled over, Chief Wiggum discovers that Homer has no chauffeur's license. Homer has to go to the DMV where Patty and Selma work. Bart performs in front of his school and bullies beat him up afterward. Homer has to take a driving test with Marge's sisters and they flunk him. After failing him, they light up cigarettes in the afterglow. While this would cost them their promotions, since they work in a government building, Homer saves them by saying they are his cigarettes. He tells them that he did it for Marge, because fighting with them is so hard on her. In appreciation for saving their jobs, they call off the debt.
Springfield is the least popular town in America. They have a town meeting on how to attract tourists and Marge pitches the idea for a film festival. After they accept her idea, she searches for a film critic to be the judge and Jay Sherman is her choice. He comes to Springfield and stays with the Simpson family. Mr. Burns decides to enter the festival to boost his reputation, and makes a horribly self-indulgent film. Jay Sherman fits right in with the Simpson family, but he and Homer quickly form a rivalry. After the screenings, Homer has already made up his mind he is going to vote for the dumbest video, the one by Hans Moleman. This is an injustice to Barney's film about alcoholism, which is the best of the bunch. The jury includes Jay, Homer, Krusty, Marge, and Mayor Quimby. Mr. Burns bribes Krusty and Quimby to vote for him. Homer decides to change his vote to Barney's film, so Mr. Burns loses. What does Barney win? Why beer, of course! Mr. Burns later tries (unsuccessfully) to bribe the Academy Awards.
The family visits a Renaissance Faire. When Lisa runs off while chasing a bunny she meets a mysterious fortune teller offers to tell her about her future by reading her cards. We flash forward to 2010 at an Eastern university where she meets an arrogant proper young English gentleman named Hugh. They manage to fall in love and he asks her to marry him. He lets her meet his family and soon she brings him to meet hers. She is very uneasy about this meeting, since her family is so rude and obnoxious. As they all prepare for the wedding, Hugh reveals that he thinks Homer is too brutish. He and Lisa have a fight and break off the engagement. The fortune teller then vanishes in a puff of smoke and Lisa meets back up with Homer, appreciating him a little more than usual.
The family notices that Santa's Little Helper has been destroying the house. He soon runs away and goes back to the dog track from which he came. He finds another greyhound there and humps her in front of everyone. The family decides to bring her home. The two dogs quickly fall in love. Santa's Little Helper's bitch has 25 puppies, but 25 puppies are too much for the Simpson family. They spoil an important dinner party. The family decides to give them away, but Mr. Burns dognaps them. They wonder what he could possibly want with them. Bart and Lisa go to spy on him and see what he is doing. He plans to kill them and make them into a greyhound skin tuxedo. They try to save the puppies, but Mr. Burns catches them before they escape. Mr. Burns has one of his characteristic changes of heart and decides not to kill them. He keeps all the puppies which grow to become successful racing dogs, making him even richer.
Skinner's elementary school is dilapidated, the bus is in terrible shape, the food is unsatisfactory, et cetera. Bart sees Krabappel and Skinner arguing about this, so he pushes both their buttons to try to bring about a teacher's strike. Bart is ecstatic, but Lisa is horrified. During the strike, kids have to stay at home with their parents. Bart unleashes his unique brand of mischief on the town. Lisa is worried about becoming stupid and not getting graded, and starts to go insane. Bart's plan backfires when substitutes take over the teachers' jobs, including Marge as Bart's teacher. Bart gets Skinner and Krabappel to start negotiating again, and they finally come to an agreement. To raise funds for the school, they rent out the school's coat rooms to Springfield's overcrowded prisons.
Bart eats the jagged metal prize in his box of cereal and he has to have it and his appendix removed after he collapses at school. At the hospital Lisa happens to see "Bleeding Gums" Murphy and he gives her his saxophone. When "Bleeding Gums" Murphy dies it makes Lisa very distraught. When his funeral does not properly honor him, she vows to make Springfield remember him. She wants to buy a copy of his rare record, but it costs $500. Bart's case against Krusty's cereal gets him that exact amount, so he buys it for her. She plays it for a tribute to "Bleeding Gums" Murphy and he appears to her as a cloud. Together they jam as the episode draws to a close.
Homer and Marge listen to some classical music at an outdoor concert. On their way home, Marge stops a thief (Snake) when she gets a surge of adrenaline. She soon finds that her life isn't thrilling enough. She looks for ways to fill the void and decides to join the police department. Homer is a little insecure about this. When she trains, she finds that Chief Wiggum does not take her seriously. She passes training and starts her new career. It stresses her out, especially with all the corruption. She wants to clean up the town, but it is so difficult. Her first major stand comes against Homer after he disrespects her in public and to his horror, she sticks him in jail. Homer has his poker buddies over after his release and one of them, Herman, uses Homer's car hole (garage) for storing counterfeit jeans. When Homer figures this out, Herman takes him hostage. Marge saves him and wants to arrest Herman. When her backup shows up, the other cops take the jeans and refuse to harm Herman. This last bit of corruption is enough to make Marge quit. The episode closes with a musical homage to Hill Street Blues.
Bart gets a big lecture from Marge after vandalizing a sidewalk, she tells him to have pride in his town. When the kids run out of lemons for lemonade, they head to the town's lemon tree and get in a confrontation with the kids of Shelbyville. When the tree is gone, Bart and five other kids go to wage war with Shelbyville. Homer finds out about this and goes with their fathers to find the kids, courtesy of Ned's RV, which Homer totally abuses. Bart pretends to be from Shelbyville, but the kids from Shelbyville chase him anyway. Bart finds the tree, and with his gang of kids and Homer with his gang of fathers team up to get the tree back.
When Willie tries to bury a class's dead hamster, he strikes oil. This means that the school is rich. The fact that Mr. Burns can never remember Homer's name is really starting to get under Homer's skin. Principal Skinner looks into spending the money from the oil well. He approves every silly request from people at the school. Mr. Burns makes it known that he wants the oil well to complete his monopoly. Principal Skinner rejects this idea. When they switch on the oil well for the first time, they find that someone else tapped the well with a slanted oil well. It is Mr. Burns. His new well shoots oil towards the Simpsons home, where it injures Bart's dog. Bart is very angry at Burns for this. Lisa is very angry because her idea to get Tito Puente as the school's band teacher cannot happen now. Homer is very angry because Mr. Burns still cannot remember his name. Moe's has to close down due to toxic fumes at the oil well, so Moe and Barney are very angry. They grab their guns and leave Moe's for the last time. The retirement home collapses due to the oil well, so Abe and the old folks are very angry. Mr. Burns is happy with all of these developments, but he has just one more plan. He wants to block out the sun. Smithers, refuses to help him and Mr. Burns fires him, so he goes on a drunken binge. Abe moves in with the Simpson family and with him, he brings a gun. Marge buries it in the yard. Homer spray paints his name on Mr. Burns' wall. When Mr. Burns still cannot remember his name, Homer threatens him. At a town meeting, Mr. Burns reveals his plan to block out the sun. He makes it night forever and walks home in twilight. He struggles with someone and a shot is fired, and he lay bleeding on the town's sun dial. Everyone is Springfield is a suspect, so it is up to Chief Wiggum to find out "Who Shot Mr. Burns."
This special was aired before the premier of the 7th season opener; hosted by John Walsh (from the FOX series "Americas Most Wanted") it offered up all sorts of theories and insights into who might have shot Montgomery Burns.
Smithers awakens from his drunken binge to find Mr. Burns in his shower; alas, it is only a dream. When he awakens for real, he discovers the truth. Mr. Burns is still alive after being shot. Smithers wonders whether he tried to kill Mr. Burns. Smithers remembers that he DID shoot an old geezer, but it was not Mr. Burns. It was Jasper, but the bullet went into his wooden leg. Smithers is cleared as the lead suspect. Lisa decides to help on the investigation. She lists all the suspects, including Moe, Barney, Principal Skinner, Willie, Tito Puente, each of the Simpsons, et cetera. Chief Wiggum goes to bust Tito Puente, but he decides that Tito is not guilty. Then he decides Principal Skinner and Willie are not suspects. Moe is cleared to, after he passes the polygraph. Chief Wiggum has a dream that tells him to check Mr. Burns' suit. Simpson DNA is found on it, so Chief Wiggum arrests Homer. They find a gun with Homer's fingerprints. Homer escapes from the police paddy wagon in a homage to "The Fugitive." He goes to confront Mr. Burns in the hospital and the whole town goes to watch. Mr. Burns still does not know Homer's name, so Homer holds a gun to his head. Mr. Burns says that Homer did not shoot him, it was Maggie Simpson. When Mr. Burns had tried to steal her candy, Maggie accidentally shot him.
Bart and Milhouse are huge fans of Radioactive Man. Comic Book Guy tells them that they are filming an upcoming movie version in Springfield. They both want to audition for the part of Fallout Boy. Bart would get the part, but he is an inch too short and Milhouse is selected instead. Bart is jealous, but he decides to remain his Milhouse's friend. Milhouse hates acting, after he finds out that working in film isn't all that glamorous or exciting, so he ditches the role and leaves the set. Bart finds him in the tree house and Mickey Rooney comes to talk to him there, but Milhouse won't go back. The producers shut down production after this setback and return to Hollywood. Hollywood takes care of them now that they are out of the uncaring, self-absorbed Springfield.
Marge works so hard as a housewife that Homer decides to buy a trip to the spa for her. She leaves the house in a mess, and Abe takes care of Maggie. At school, Bart has lice and Lisa loses her shoes. Child welfare people go to the Simpson home to find Maggie drinking out of a dog bowl. When Homer and Marge return home, they tell them that they are taking away the children to a foster home. Which foster home? The Flanders'! Homer and Marge feel depressed without their kids and Bart and Lisa do not fit in at all next door. The judge orders Homer and Marge to go to parental training and in the class are horribly unfit parents, further embarrassing Marge. Meanwhile, Ned discovers that the Simpson children have not been baptized. He takes them to the Springfield River to do it himself. Having just passed their parenting class, Homer and Marge race to stop the baptism.
Bart pulls a prank at church, resulting in a punishment for himself and Milhouse. They have a conversation about it, and Bart tells Milhouse that he does not believe in souls. To prove it, he sells his soul to Milhouse for $5...well actually; he sells him a piece of paper with "Bart Simpson's soul" written on it. Lisa warns him that this will result in his misery. He notices that animals are afraid of him and automatic doors don't recognize him. Meanwhile, Moe has decided to turn his bar into a family restaurant. Bart continues to notice that he is different. He loses his ability to laugh at senseless violence. He tries unsuccessfully to get his soul back from Milhouse. Moe advertises his grand opening and several families come. Moe quickly loses patience with children and business suffers. Bart has nightmares, so he goes on an odyssey to beg for Milhouse's help. Moe changes his place back to a bar. Milhouse does not have the soul anymore; he sold it to Comic Book Guy, who then sold it to an unnamed person. Bart is relieved to discover it is Lisa, and she gives him back his soul. Bart is back to normal, metaphysically.
The Simpson family visits a young children's theme park for Maggie, but it's not much fun for the rest of the family. While there, Lisa bonds with a small lamb. They return home to find a huge Flanders family reunion going on next door. Homer is jealous, because Ned did not invite him. He vows to throw a BBQ of his own. Marge serves lamb for dinner, forcing Lisa to think about her little friend. She says she will never eat lamb again and she goes on to declare herself a vegetarian. She can't bring herself to dissect worms in class either and she even questions cartoons on TV. She wishes that Homer would serve something other than meat at his barbecue. Principal Skinner shows a propaganda film from the meat council, which makes her angry. She crashes Homer's party and steals the pig. Homer and Lisa refuse to talk to each other and Lisa leaves home in disgust. She finds no support from anywhere else; that is, until she talks to vegetarian Apu. He introduces her to Paul and Linda McCartney, vegetarian activists. The three of them give her a lecture on tolerance and then Apu performs a Beatles' song for them. Homer tracks her down and apologizes to her and she admits that she was wrong, too. The song "Maybe I'm Amazed" plays over the end credits as a pig flies through the air.
a)."Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores" Strange atmospheric conditions bring giant advertising statues to life. b)."Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace" Willy's death, caused by disinterested parents, causes him to come back into the dreams of their children. c)."Homer3" Homer finds a strange area in their house behind the bookcase. When he steps through it Homer becomes three-dimensional.
Homer tries everything to get out of the plant's new exercise program and discovers that being on disability would do just that. He tries a few dangerous things to become disabled, but sett on a plan to gain 61 pounds. Dr. Nick and Bart help him on his quest, while Marge and Lisa try to discourage him. After Homer succeeds, Mr. Burns allows him to work at home. He monitors plant safety on a computer, but is still irresponsible as ever. He leaves home to see a movie, leaving the responsibility for his computer in the beak of a bird. The plant's reactor starts to go critical before he returns home. Homer rushes to the plant and to try shutting down the reactor manually. He discovers how hard life is for a hyper-obese person in his frantic dash. Luckily Homer's fat ass saves the day. In gratitude, Burns vows to make him a slimmer man.
Homer buys a dummy and fakes his death to get out of work. Since he has died, the power company turns off the power to his home. When Homer goes to get it turned on again he discovers that his mother is still alive. He brings her home to meet his family and he discovers why he has not seen her for 27 years. She is a former hippie on the run from the law. Her old nemesis, Mr. Burns, spots her at the post office and tells the cops from "Dragnet." They look for her, but she escapes again and has a tear-filled goodbye with Homer before she leaves for good.
Sideshow Bob hates television. As a prisoner, his fellow convicts (including Rupert Murdoch) watch it constantly. When Vanessa Redgrave gets her own tasteless sitcom on FOX, it is the last straw. He escapes custody, steals a bomb, and hides out in a blimp. When he threatens to detonate a bomb, the town gives in to his only demand and ceases production of all television shows. The Simpsons just happen to be at the airshow, close to the blimp. The airshow evacuates, but Bart and Lisa stay in the military base. They find Sideshow Bob and tip off the cops as to his whereabouts. Krusty manages to get back on television by broadcasting from a shack, and Sideshow Bob detonates the bomb. The bomb is a dud. He escapes in the Wright brothers plane with Bart as his hostage, heading toward Krusty's shack on a kamikaze mission. Fortunately television is saved when this plan fails.
The show opens with a montage of openings. Then Troy McClure answers viewer mail while hosting a show that features vintage clips from The Tracey Ullman Show, some outtakes and highlights from some of the previous 137 episodes. The show then closes with a montage of "hardcore nudity."
Bart sees a commercial for a new but violent video game. Marge does not want to get it for him because he is too young. Bart tries to rent it and tries to play it at Milhouse's. He goes to the store and tries to steal a copy of it. The security guard catches him. He leaves a message on the Simpsons' answering machine, in which he mentions that Bart is banned from the store for life. Back at home, Bart manages to gets rid of the message. Marge wants the family to go to that store to have a family portrait taken; only Bart sees the jeopardy in his returning to the store. The security guard spots him and he tells Homer and Marge that Bart is a shoplifter. Bart ruins yet another family picture. Later Homer yells at him, but Marge just refuses to talk to him. She thinks it is her fault for mothering him too much. Missing his own mother, Bart tries to hang around with Milhouse's mom. He decides to return to the store and have a picture taken of himself. He gives it to Marge and she is ecstatic. She lets him open his present early, a golf video game. The end credits show Bart playing his new game.
Bart gets a T-shirt iron-on in "Mad" magazine that says "down with homework." Homer goes bowling with Moe and meets up with Apu. They, along with Otto, decide to start a bowling team when they can't get a lane on league night. They need $500 to get started, so Homer tricks Mr. Burns into giving him the money and he forms the "Pin Pals." Bart gets in trouble with his new T-shirt, so the students have to start wearing uniforms. The "Pin Pals" start to climb the league rankings and Mr. Burns realizes that Homer has tricked him. He goes to confront the "Pin Pals", but when Mr. Burns sees how good they are, he decides to join the team. Homer lets him join and gives Otto the boot. Back at Springfield Elementary the uniformed kids at the school begin losing their individuality and creativity. When it starts raining, their uniforms change color and bring a surge of rebellion. Mr. Burns is a horrible bowler, so the "Pin Pals" begin losing games. When the championship game arrives, they manage to win the trophy, which Mr. Burns takes home with him.
The Simpsons have a garage sale one boring weekend and here we first meet Disco Stu. Right when the sale gets moving, George Bush upstages Homer by moving in across the street. Homer starts holding a grudge against Bush; meanwhile, Bart takes on the role of "Dennis the Menace" to George Bush's "Mr. Wilson". After George gives Bart the spanking he deserves, Homer starts a prank war, which escalates into a one-on-one confrontation. This results in the Bushes leaving and Gerald Ford moving in, becoming Homer's good friend.
Marge gets an expensive "new" dress at the outlet mall. While wearing it she meets a former schoolmate who invites her and the family to the country club. Marge becomes obsessed with trying to fit in. Homer takes up golf at the club and Mr. Burns challenges him to a game. After Homer catches him cheating, Mr. Burns agrees to help Homer's family become members of the country club if he doesn't tell anyone. In the end, Marge decides she doesn't want to become a member after all.
The Simpsons each inherit $100 and Bart gets his own checkbook. He gets the idea on how he can get Krusty's autograph by using an endorsed check. The endorsement is an offshore holding corporation, so Bart goes to the bank. The banker calls up the IRS and they discover that that Krusty has been doing a lot of tax-cheating. The IRS gets Krusty to pay them 90% of his salary, so he has to make cutbacks on the show. The IRS auctions off all of Krusty's possessions and they even get Krusty Burger. Bart begins feeling really guilty. The town notices a plane flying around one night; the pilot is Krusty, who is flying it very recklessly. He crashes and Chief Wiggum declares him dead. The Simpson family goes to the funeral, where Bob Newhart speaks on Krusty's behalf. Bart is heartbroken and he keeps thinking that he sees Krusty in public. Bart and Lisa try to find him down at the marina. When they do, Krusty reveals that he has faked his death and he is now living as Rory Bellows. They talk him into coming back, so he fakes his death as Rory Bellows, gets a large insurance settlement and returns.
Bart watches a film on town hero, Jebediah Springfield. As the town's bicentennial parade approaches, Homer wants to be the town crier and he soon wins the job. Lisa visits a museum full of Jebediah memorabilia, and meets the curator, Hollis Hurlbutt. She finds a secret confession by Jebediah in a flute. The confession reveals that he was a murderous pirate and a fraud, with a silver tongue. Lisa sets out to expose him and while Marge does not believe her, Homer does. He helps her tell the town, but no one believes her except him. The town's Jubilation Committee brings them in for disciplinary action. When she pleads with them, they agree to dig up his grave and look for the tongue. The tongue is not there, so they strip Homer of his bell and hat. Lisa refuses to give up after a dream and she finds out that Hollis Hurlbutt has the tongue. He and Lisa stop the parade to tell everyone about their false hero. Lisa chickens out and tells everyone that he was a great man. So Homer is able to resume his role as town crier.
Mr. Burns takes the plant to an auto racing track and Smithers caters to his every need, but screws up just once. A drunken Lenny scares the hell out of Burns after the event and Smithers tries to make it up to him, but fails. Mr. Burns orders him to take a vacation and Smithers chooses Homer to replace him, because Homer is so incompetent that it should make Smithers look good. Homer tries his best, but Mr. Burns will not tolerate the typical Homer Simpson idiocy. Mr. Burns abuses Homer, so Homer hauls off and decks him. Homer tries to apologize, but Mr. Burns fears him so much that he does all the basic jobs of Homer. Mr. Burns learns to do things for himself and enjoys it. When Smithers returns home, Mr. Burns fires him and Homer returns to his old job. Smithers cannot seem to find a job. Homer gives him a pep talk and formulates a plan to get Smithers back his job. Homer screws it up, and Smithers gets into a brawl with him. In the fray, Mr. Burns falls out his office window. Now in a full-body cast, Smithers takes care of Mr. Burns him as before. For his efforts, Homer gets a fruit basket from the newly employed Smithers.
Bart and Lisa watch an "Itchy and Scratchy" marathon and the next day there is an 'Itchy and Scratchy' parade. Homer and the kids stake out spots on the sidewalk, but Bart gets away from them and meets up with a bum who claims to have created Itchy. Bart believes him and they watch his old film, but it burns up during the viewing. Bart vows to get the bum the celebrity status that he deserves, so first Bart brings the bum home with him. Then Bart and the bum go to Roger Myers and ask for all the money he is owed. They are denied and Homer and Marge agree to help them out by paying for a lawyer, Lionel Hutz. The case is not going well, so Bart gets a drawing from the comic book store to prove that the bum is the creator. The court finds in his favor due to plagiarism, so every cent "Itchy and Scratchy" makes now goes to the bum. Unfortunately because of this ruling the "Itchy and Scratchy" studios have to close for good. Bart feels badly about what he did, especially since now a stupid cartoon has replaced it. Bart has to come up with a plan; after all, he and Lisa had done it so many times before. When they figure out how to do it, they discover that Lester and Eliza have already solved the problem. It looks like Bart and Lisa have a little competition.
Troy McClure takes Selma out on a date in return for a favor she did him at the DMV. After the date he stops for a photo opportunity, the resulting publicity of being seen with a "woman" gives his career a much-needed "shot in the arm;" but living with Selma is too much, so they eventually get a divorce. After the divorce, Troy signs on to direct his very own film.
Skinner decides to promote a take-your-kids-to-work-day on the Friday before spring break. Bart goes to the DMV with Patty and Selma. Lisa goes to the power plant with Homer. Milhouse discovers the exciting world of crackers. Martin makes money in the stock market. At the DMV Bart makes himself a fake driver's license. He, Nelson, and Milhouse look for a way to use it, so they decide to use Martin's money to rent a car. The four of them tell their parents that they are going to the National Grammar Rodeo. Instead they go out joyriding, but where should they go? Finding an old brochure they decide to go to the World's Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee. But first Nelson makes them stop in Branson, Missouri, where he can see his hero, Andy Williams. Back in Springfield, Homer asks if Lisa would like to come spend her spring break at work with him and she enjoys herself there; meanwhile, Marge becomes bored at home. Finding out that the World's Fair was over years ago, Bart and company do not find Knoxville that exciting, especially when they wreck the car. They are stranded, but they cannot tell their parents. Bart tells Lisa the truth, and she tells him to become a courier. He does and is able to go to Hong Kong free of charge with his friends. Bart tells Lisa that she needs to have somebody ship something large to Springfield. Lisa tells Homer, who is very upset, but orders the plant a new nuclear console. Bart and company return home, and everyone knows about the trip except Marge.
Small slices of life in Springfield are shown, such as: Bart carves sugar; Apu in "The Jolly Bengali"; Lisa with gum in her hair; Smithers and the bee sting; Dr. Nick saves the day; Moe gets robbed; "Skinner and the Superintendent"; Homer, Maggie and the newspaper; McDonald's Quarter Pounders vs. Krusty burgers; the Bee Man at home; Chief Wiggum, the hood and the storekeeper; Reverend Lovejoy and his dog; Lisa and the gum (part 2); Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel; Milhouse has to use the bathroom; Chief Wiggum, the hood and the storekeeper (part 2); Lisa and the gum (part 3); Nelson gets his comeuppance; Bart and Milhouse find the truth; The Tomfoolery of Professor John Frink is almost seen.
Raging Abe Simpson And His Grumbling Grandson In "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Bart brings Abe to school in a special day for grandparents and he proceeds to embarrass Bart by lying. Abe gets a piece of mail saying that the seventh Hellfish is dead; this leaves only two of the Flying Hellfish left alive. When one is left, he will get to claim the legacy of art treasures they kept from the WWII. Who is the other Hellfish who hasn't died? Why it's Mr. Burns. Abe doesn't trust Mr. Burns, who is scheming on how to steal the treasure. Mr. Burns hires a world-famous assassin to take care of Abe, but none of the attempts work. When Abe goes to tell Homer and the family his tale, they do not believe him. Abe stays in Bart's room until the coast is clear. Abe tells Bart the story of the Hellfish, where he used to be ranked above Mr. Burns. Bart is highly skeptical. Mr. Burns comes in the night to steal Abe's key. When Bart sees this, he decides to help Abe stop Mr. Burns from taking the treasure. They take the Flanders' boat and go diving for it. After Bart brings it up onto the boat, Mr. Burns takes it from them and the he tries unsuccessfully to drown Bart. Abe and Mr. Burns have a scuffle on the shore and Abe wins. Just as Abe gets set to take the treasure, the authorities come to take the treasure back its rightful owner, a rich German.
A bear "terrorizes" the neighborhood; the new bear patrol causes taxes to be raised. Mayor Quimby decides to blame the immigrants, who will all be deported, depending on the outcome of the proposition 24. Apu turns to Fat Tony and then the Simpson family. Apu slowly wins the Simpsons' support. He decides to take a citizenship test after Lisa discovers he qualifies. He is short on time though, so Homer helps him cram like he has never crammed before. Homer fills his head with historical "facts" (remember that Homer is really stupid). The vote on Prop 24 approaches. The town votes to deport all illegal immigrants... except Apu, the Bee Guy, Dr. Nick, and Moe, who've all passed their citizenship tests.
Otto wrecks the school bus, so Homer organizes a car pool and begins driving the neighborhood kids to school. He horrifies Bart and Lisa with his choice of classic rock music, so he decides to try to get into the current music scene. He brings Bart and Lisa to a music festival that features Cypress Hill, Peter Frampton, The Smashing Pumpkins and Sonic Youth. While there, Homer discovers a new talent. He can take a shot to the gut really well. The festival asks him to travel with them and continue getting hit by cannonballs. Naturally, he agrees and becomes a hit. He looks forward to performing for Springfield, but just before they get there, he discovers that cannonballs have wreaked havoc on his internal organs. The vet tells him to quit before he dies, but he refuses. At the last moment, he chickens out and decides to retire from the freak business.
It is the last day of school and Lisa has no one to sign her yearbook; Bart on the other hand is quite popular. Flanders offers Homer his Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport beach house for a few days, since he has jury duty and won't be able to use it. Lisa worries about not having a friend to bring. Bart brings Milhouse, making Lisa feel depressed. Lisa decides not to bring any of her dorky things so that she can redefine her identity. She gets new clothes and searches for kids with whom to play. She finds a bunch of local kids that seem to like her for whom she is. To make her feel even more special, they reject Bart in favor of her, making Bart jealous. Meanwhile, Homer sets out to buy illegal fireworks. Lisa is acting exactly like Bart when she hangs out, infuriating Bart and he decides to sabotage her friendships. He shows them a yearbook, revealing her as a nerd. She is humiliated and angry with him. He feels bad, so he tries to win back her friends. Even though they've found out she is a nerd, it turns out that they don't mind and they all sign her yearbook.
a)."The Thing and I" Homer and Marge warn the children not to go up into the attic. Of course they do and there they discover Bart's Siamese twin. b)."The Genesis Tub" Lisa's science experiment becomes a micro-universe, where she is thought of as God and Bart is the devil. c)."Citizen Kang" Homer is abducted by aliens. The aliens take Homer to Washington where they replace Clinton and Dole just in time for the election. Of course no one believes Homer.
Globex Corporation wants Smithers as their newest employee, but when he repeatedly says no, they offer the job to Homer. He agrees, but he has to move to another city, Cypress Creek, a planned community. The family agrees to move and they simply abandon their old house. Homer's job is wonderful and he hopes it will help him to realize his lifelong dream, owning the Dallas Cowboys. Homer's new boss, Hank Scorpio, is about the greatest guy on the planet. Their new house is a palace, but Marge gets bored there and she starts drinking. Bart finds himself in the remedial program at school with a kid who lights fires. Lisa finds out she is allergic to everything. Soon it is revealed what Hank Scorpio and the Globex Corporation are really up to. They are terrorists, but Homer is too stupid to figure it out. His family wants to move back to Springfield. He tells Hank Scorpio about his lifelong plans, quits the job and family leaves to return to Springfield. When Homer returns home, he finds that Hank Scorpio has bought him the Denver Broncos as a thank you gift. Because of some of Homer's efforts, the Globex Corporation has managed to take over the entire northeastern seaboard of the United States.
The Simpsons go to the mall where they see the surviving members of Bonanza making an appearance; meanwhile, Bart buys an extravagant belt from the Comic Book Guy. At school, Jimbo tries to beat him up for it and Homer vows to get it back by meeting and talking to the bullies' parents at Moe's. They beat the crap out of him, but they never knock him off his feet and Moe, who was a former fighter, sees this and tells Homer that he should become a boxer. Homer agrees, passes the physical, and starts training and while he is a terrible boxer, he can take any punch. He works his way up the rankings by boxing at Moe's. A promoter comes and talks to Moe about having Homer fight Drederick Tatum, the former heavyweight champion, who's just been released from prison. Everyone knows that Tatum will kill Homer, but Moe promises it will last at least three rounds. The family is at the fight to watch, as are celebrities and the fan man. Homer is getting destroyed by Tatum in round one when Moe takes the fan man's fan and flies Homer to safety. Moe gets a big check and flies away with the fan.
The family goes to an apple mill and on the way home, they see a hitchhiker. Homer wants to pick him up, but Marge is totally against it. Ignoring her Homer picks him up and finds out that he is Mr. Burns' illegitimate son, Larry. He helps Larry get in touch with Burns, but Mr. Burns cannot stand him, because he is boorish, obnoxious, and rude. Mr. Burns tries to get him into a college, but Larry is way too dumb and Mr. Burns decides he wants nothing to do with his son. Homer and Larry are good friends now, so Homer comes up with a plan for Larry to win Mr. Burns' love. He stages a fake kidnapping and Larry stays with Homer in his basement. It becomes a big media event, but when a helicopter spots Homer and Larry, they flee to a movie theater. The police find them there and Larry admits it is a fake kidnapping. When Mr. Burns will still not accept him, Larry goes back home to his family.
Lisa talks Marge into going to help rescue animals from an oil spill. This leaves Bart and Homer all along and on their own. Bart causes some damage at what the kids call the local "haunted house." As a punishment, Homer insists that he go there and work to pay for the damage that he caused. Bart discovers the house is actually a burlesque parlor and he begins working there as a stand-up comedian and maitre d'. Marge returns to find what Bart is doing and is angry with Homer so she goes to the owner of the house and tells her to leave Springfield. When that does not work, she goes before the town and tries to get them to bulldoze the place. They all travel to the house with tools of destruction and begin tearing it down, but Homer pleads with them to save the burlesque house and in the process he and everyone breaks into song. The song is so good that it convinces everyone on how valuable the house is to the town. Marge shows up late with a bulldozer. She offers to sing a song in response, but accidentally demolishes the house when she does.
Marge is upset with Homer because their married life has become routine so she decides to hold a dinner party with other married couples to show him what a marriage can be. The party is over when the Van Houtens get into a huge argument and decide to get a divorce. Homer befriends Kirk, who tries to become a singer when he loses his job and Marge befriends Luann, who begins dating an American Gladiator. Milhouse stays with his mother and becomes a spoiled brat. Meanwhile Homer recalls his awful wedding with Marge and he worries that he and Marge have drifted apart, so he tries to win her back. When that doesn't work, he applies for a divorce. He breaks the news to her and then surprises her with a wedding ceremony. This time, all her friends are there and Kirk tries unsuccessfully to win back Luann at the wedding.
Chalmers buys his dream car…a Honda. Someone has stolen the H from the insignia on its hood, making Chalmers cry like a little girl. Skinner tries to find the culprit. Meanwhile, Homer obtains a telemarketing machine. Skinner conducts a search of the students' lockers and discovers that the usual suspect, Nelson, had stolen it. Nelson gets detention, but also the admiration of Lisa. She falls for his rebellious ways and tells him how much she likes him. Homer's telemarketing machine calls for people in Springfield to send one dollar to "Happy Dude at 742 Evergreen Terrace Springfield." Nelson disgusts Lisa, but Marge tells her to try to change him. Her subsequent attempt leads to her first kiss. Nelson's friends are mad at him for having a girlfriend. They want to attack Skinner's house but Nelson will only join them later. Homer's auto-dialer gets him in trouble with the cops. Nelson gets in trouble for his prank on Skinner. Lisa decides to break up with Nelson, leaving an open window for Milhouse. Homer rigs the telemarketing machine to dial an apology to everybody in town.
A hurricane comes through Springfield, and the Simpson family hides in their basement. When the storm blows over, they go outside and find the Flanders' home has been demolished. The Flanders must stay at the church, wearing borrowed clothes. Then Ned sees on the news that people are vandalizing the Leftorium. To help him out, the residents of Springfield secretly rebuild the Flanders home. When Ned gets a tour of the house, he finds that they had no idea what they were doing. When the house crumbles to the ground Ned goes berserk and tears into everybody in town. After his outburst he drives to the nuthouse and checks himself in. They call up his old psychiatrist and in a flashback to Ned's childhood we see that Ned was a brat. His parents were beatniks who did not discipline him. It was his old psychiatrist who provided the disciplined for him, which left him with a speech impediment-adilly. The psychiatrist tries to get him to express his anger, so he enlists the help of the most annoying man on the planet... Homer Simpson. Homer gets Ned to admit that he hates his parents, which leads to a cure allowing him to check out of the nuthouse.
El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Homer (a.k.a. The Mysterious Voyage Of Our Homer)
Remembering last year, Marge tries to hide the big annual chili cook-off from Homer. When he figures it out, she makes him promise not to drink any beer. Homer is known as the dude with the fireproof stomach and Chief Wiggum brews up some chili with Guatemalan insanity peppers, and it burns the hell out of Homer's mouth. He decides to put wax in his mouth, so he can eat the peppers whole. After eating a few, he begins hallucinating and Homer runs off into the sunset and experiencing a strange journey. The rest of the family leaves without him after he embarrasses them. On his journey, Homer meets a talking coyote who tells him to find his soul mate. He wakes up on a golf course and begins his search. Marge is upset with him, making him think it is not her. Homer ends up at a lighthouse, where Marge eventually finds him. Because she found him, he figures out that she IS his soul mate. A ship crashes at the lighthouse, leaving short shorts everywhere.
Leonard Nimoy opens a tale about a typical Friday night. Homer goes to the Moe's but has to walk home after Moe tells him that his blood alcohol level is too high to drive. A bunch of creepy things happen on this walk home, including seeing an alien. He tells people, but no one believes him. A couple of Special Agents from the FBI, named Mulder and Scully, come to investigate. The alien comes back every Friday, like Urkel. Homer and Bart venture out late at night to get hard evidence and film the latest encounter and get the footage shown on the news. The whole town shows up the following Friday evening. They all see it, but Smithers reveals that it is just Mr. Burns on his medication. They all sing together, as Homer brings the town peace and love.
The women of Springfield have an investment group. They want to buy a business, but Marge wants no part, so they boot her out of the club. Marge vows to beat them at their own game. She looks for a business to buy and runs into the group who gotten a Fleet-A-Pita franchise; Marge becomes a Pretzel Wagon franchisee. She starts baking pretzels and tries to sell them but the pita company steals her customers. Marge can't seem to find her niche. When she gives in to failure, Homer secretly goes to make a deal with Fat Tony and the mob. Suddenly, Marge is back in business. The Mafia uses violence to ensure her success by taking out her competitors. The cops turn their heads to the tactics. Fat Tony goes to collect his money from Homer, but Homer manages to outsmart them. After that, they have a chat with Marge and she has twelve hours to pay up in full. Homer comes clean and they go on with the pretzel business as if nothing out of the ordinary were happening. When the mob comes to collect, something stops them... it's the Japanese mob. The other investors hired them to take out the Italians. There is an unbelievable brawl and somehow Marge's pretzel business becomes the least of Fat Tony's concerns.
Mr. Burns tests the plant by having a fire drill. When they fail miserably, he organizes a retreat to promote teamwork. Homer misunderstands and brings the family. As an activity Homer has to find a cabin on a mountain by using a map. Who is his partner? Why it's Mr. Burns! Smithers doesn't like that arrangement and has to search for the cabin without a partner. Adding to his stress is the fact that the last ones to arrive at the cabin will be fired. Marge and the kids look for things to do, but everything is very boring. Homer and Mr. Burns manage to find the cabin first and they relax there until an avalanche, caused by clinking of their champagne glasses, traps them. Teammates Lenny and Carl can't find the cabin after the avalanche. Trapped like rats, Homer and Mr. Burns start to go crazy. A propane tank explodes and unearths the cabin. Everyone piles into the cabin, after all, the last one in will be fired, but Mr. Burns decides not to fire the loser (Lenny) after all.
The Simpson family is watching a Krusty special when Lisa notices that Marge's hair is falling out. The reason, says Dr. Hibbert, is stress. Homer vows to do whatever it takes to get her back to normal. Marge wants him to hire a nanny. They interview nannies, but Homer keeps accusing each applicant of being a man. No one seems to be qualified until Shary Bobbins arrives. She has an instant rapport with the children. They sing songs as they do chores. Everyone else in Springfield loves her, too. Shary is about to leave, but realizes that the Simpson family still needs her. She stays and they become more and more dependent upon her. Eventually her songs stop working, Bart whips cupcakes at the wall and Lisa sits around watching TV. When they tell her that they are happy just the way they are, Shary Bobbins leaves (only to be sucked into a jet engine).
"Itchy & Scratchy" are getting low ratings, so the producers sample children as a test audience. They decide that they need a new character. The execs decide to add a new dog named "Poochie" and hold auditions for the voice. Homer, Otto, Troy McClure and others audition, but Homer gets the part. Coincidentally, a guy named Roy is staying with the Simpson family. Homer gathers friends to watch his debut as Poochie and they all hate it. Poochie is a spectacular failure, so the execs are going to kill him off, but Homer refuses to let him die. He writes his own lines and reads them. The producers kill him off anyway, in a very strange edit and Roy leaves the Simpson house, too. With that, "Itchy & Scratchy" returns to its former glory.
Bart destroys the clothes dryer, so Marge decides to sell a family heirloom to pay for a new one. They go to a store that sells camp antique items. Homer does not understand why grown men would enjoy such things, but he gets in a conversation with John, the antique dealer "with a difference" who works there. He invites John over to look over the valuable, worthless crap in his house. Homer thinks John is great, but Marge tells him that he is gay. Homer is homophobic, so he decides that he hates John, but the rest of the family continues to hang out with John. Bart begins to act effeminately, further horrifying Homer so he makes Bart look at scantily-clad women. Then he brings Bart to a steel mill, where real men work (not realizing that the mill workers are gay). When those things don't work, he decides to take Bart deer hunting. That does not work either, when the reindeer attacks them. John rushes Marge and Lisa to save the reindeer, but arrive in time to save Homer. In the end Homer decides to accept John and Bart for who they are.
Bart watches television and sees his psychotic nemesis, Sideshow Bob. We follow Bob, who has turned into an upstanding person while behind bars. He qualifies for a work release program, so his brother, Cecil, becomes his new boss. They are building a dam. Bart follows Bob, trying to catch him in another diabolical scheme. He cannot find any evidence, so he gets Lisa to help him. Then Bart and Lisa find some incriminating evidence and confront Bob. Cecil traps all three, revealing that he, not Bob, is going to destroy Springfield with the new dam. Bob, Bart, and Lisa form an alliance and try to stop Cecil. They succeed, and the police show up. Bob and Cecil both go to prison, even though Bob had nothing to do with it.
Flanders needs a babysitter and Lisa volunteers for the job and does it well. Homer and Marge plan to go to a party at the new mall and Marge and Homer decide to have Lisa baby-sit Bart while they are at the party. Bart is really angry about it, so he vows to make the night a living hell. He pulls a bunch of pranks by ordering food, volunteering to host meetings, et cetera. Lisa gets so mad that she chases him down the stairs. Bart falls down the stairs and is injured and he plans on milking it for all its worth when Homer and Marge get home. Meanwhile at the party, Homer is making a fool of himself. Bart tries to make his injuries worse, and he knocks himself out. Lisa has to take Bart to see Dr. Nick, so she does so with a wheelbarrow. On her way, she passes the party, where the whole town sees her and passes judgment on how bad she is as a babysitter. Somehow she still manages not to lose any business.
It's St. Patrick's Day in Springfield and the Simpsons go to the parade, while there Bart accidentally gets drunk, and the whole town sees him inebriated on television. The town starts pushing for prohibition, but it is discovered that there is already an old law that prohibits drinking, under punishment of catapult. With the old law back in place, organized crime starts supplying alcohol. Wiggum becomes the scapegoat for this and is fired. Rex Banner is brought in as his replacement and he stops any alcohol from entering Springfield. Homer and Bart come up with an idea to profit off the situation. They take some hidden beer supplies and begin selling it to bars and Homer becomes the "Beer Baron" and Marge is impressed. When his supply runs out, Homer starts making his own liquor in the basement. Marge is not crazy about this new strategy, meanwhile Rex Banner can't seem to find the mysterious "Beer Baron". With no job, Wiggum has fallen on hard times. Because it is so hard to keep the alcohol supply up, Homer decides to turn himself in… to Wiggum. Rex Banner plans on catapulting Homer, who gets away scot-free when it is revealed that the old law is invalid. The town instead catapults Rex Banner, and reinstates Wiggum.
While at school, Martin invites the class to his birthday party. Edna Krabappel and Seymour Skinner show up and so do Bart, Lisa and many others. As one of the dishes Mrs. Prince serves oysters. When Seymour spots his mother trying to enter the party he and Edna go and flirt in Martin's teahouse. Everyone but Bart, Edna and Seymour leave the party sick because of the oysters. Bart stays a while and sees Edna and Seymour kissing. At school they overhear Bart about to tell Milhouse, Lewis and gang about what he saw, so Krabappel and Skinner take Bart into the principal's office. They make an excuse which fails, and bribe Bart by saying they will clear his permanent record if he keeps quiet. Then they start using him as their messenger, by pulling/sending him out of class to send messages to each other. It works for a while until they go a little too far. Bart tells everyone and proves it by opening the janitor's closet to reveal Krabappel and Skinner kissing. Rumors go from parent to parent about them having sexual relations. Superintendent Chalmers fires Krabappel and Skinner, but Bart tells them that they should demand to stay employed. Krabappel and Skinner lock the school and a mob watches as they demand their love be respected. Maude Flanders tells why they are upset, and Seymour reveals himself to be a virgin, satisfying everyone. Their relationship is legal, and Bart is out of the picture.
Marge lets Bart read her junk mail and he comes across a credit card application. He fills it out with the name "Santa's Little Helper," his dog. When the application is approved and he gets the card, he starts spending like a madman, not realizing how credit works. He even buys a collie named Laddie, this dog is so perfect, that he neglects his old dog. Eventually the repo men come to take back everything he bought, including one $1200 dog. Bart gives him Santa's Little Helper instead of Laddie, but he soon misses his old dog and grows tired of the new one. Laddie gets local attention when he saves a baby's life, so Bart gives him to the police and then searches for his old dog, and finds him living with a blind man. The blind man calls the police when Bart breaks into his place. When the police come, Laddie finds pot on the blind guy. Bart leaves with Santa's Little Helper as the police smoke the blind guy's stash.
Lisa wakes up early and begins working on her new hobby, recycling. Mr. Burns comes to talk to the school, and Lisa asks about him about his recycling program. He brags about how much money he has, but Lisa and Smithers reveal to him that he has very little money left. His "yes" men have never told him that his stocks have been losing money. Mr. Burns has to move from his house and the bank forecloses on the power plant, putting Lenny in charge. Nobody has any sympathy for Mr. Burns and he ends up in the old folks' home. He tries to regain his fortune by using Lisa's recycling program. She refuses him initially, but he presses on until she caves. They recycle, bringing in small amounts of money and they eventually gain enough money to build a recycling plant. It contains an invention that sweeps fish out of the ocean and makes slurry. This horrifies Lisa and she begins to tell people to stop recycling. When Mr. Burns stop by with a check for her for $12 million she refuses it; giving Homer four simultaneous heart attacks.
Marge takes the family to church; afterwards she notices how little of an effect it has on them. She goes to talk to Reverend Lovejoy about it and she becomes a volunteer. Homer brings to the kids to the dump and there they find a box with Homer's face on it, which really creeps him out. Because Reverend Lovejoy is terrible at giving advice, Marge takes over that aspect of his job; Reverend Lovejoy stopped caring about the congregation a long time ago. When the calls come in, Marge does a great job. Homer investigates the box and finds out that it is a Japanese dish detergent. He calls up Japan to inquire further and they send him a promotional videotape, which clears up the mystery behind Homer's face. It is the company's logo; a combination between a fish and a light bulb. Reverend Lovejoy soon finds that Marge outshines him, so he gets depressed. When teens start to hassle Flanders he calls for advice, but Marge screws up on the advice she gives him. The teens continue to harass him all night and into the next day and he ends up outside of town at a zoo. Marge brings Reverend Lovejoy and Homer to save him. Baboons try to kill Flanders and Reverend Lovejoy goes in to save him. The adventure brings Reverend Lovejoy a new inspiration for his job.
Kent Brockman does a human interest story about Frank Grimes. Frank Grimes is a man who has had a VERY difficult life and Burns sees the report and tells Smithers to hire him. When Grimes comes to work at the plant, he meets Lenny, Carl, and Homer. All three of them are very stupid in this episode, but no one more so than Homer. Grimes can't stand any of them, especially after Homer starts calling him "Grimey". He is very concerned that Homer is an unsafe employee, after Homer nearly drinks acid and "Grimey" saves his life. Then Burns yells at Grimes about it and Frank Grimes decides to get even. He gets Homer to enter a nuclear plant design contest, but doesn't tell him that it is for kids only. Although he is an idiot, Homer works hard at it and wins the contest. Everyone is impressed with Homer and this sends Frank Grimes over the edge. He has a breakdown and accidentally electrocutes himself. At his funeral, Homer once again steals the show. Meanwhile, Bart makes the winning bid ($1) on an abandoned factory at an auction and hires Milhouse as his night watchman. They do a lot of dangerous things in the building until one day, it tips over and crumbles.
Troy McClure introduces three possible spin-offs from the series. a)."Chief Wiggum, P.I." Chief Wiggum is a detective in New Orleans and Principal Skinner is his assistant. Their first case pits them against Big Daddy, an operator in New Orleans who's kidnapped Ralph. b)."The Love-Matic Grampa" Moe's Love Tester machine has a special soul... Grampa's. He tries to put Moe's love life into order. c)."The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour" The family returns in a new variety show format a'la the "The Brady Bunch Hour" with a side of Laugh-In. Their show even features a "new girl" playing Lisa the way a new girl played Jan on the Brady show.
Bart's class goes to the police station on a field trip and while he is there, he just can't resist pulling a prank; meanwhile, Lisa's class is not challenging for her at all. Chief Wiggum meets with the Homer and Marge and recommends military school for Bart. Homer and Marge tell Bart they are going to Disneyland, but trick him and take him to military school. Bart does not want to be there from the get-go, but Lisa sees the discipline the cadets receive and decides to stay there with Bart. She is the first female ever to join the academy, so she gets a hard time from the other cadets. Bart starts to fit in after a while, and tries to keep the fact that he cares about her a secret. A final challenge awaits Bart and Lisa; they must pass a physical test called "The Eliminator". Bart helps Lisa to train in secret and when they both pass, they go home.
Homer, Carl, and Lenny get drunk at Moe' and Moe picks Barney as the designated driver. Barney drives them home in Homer's car but the next day Homer realizes that Barney did not return his car. Weeks later, Barney reappears after a drunken binge. Homer gets a letter from city of New York that says his car is illegally parked between the World Trade Center buildings. Homer hates New York after an experience from years before. The Simpsons ride the bus to New York, where they split up and explore the city. Homer is very hostile to New Yorkers. Homer stays with his car, waiting for the police to take off its boot, but after drinking can after can of crab juice (his only other option was Mountain Dew), and he really has to pee. Well he still can't leave but when he can't stand it anymore, he goes up into the World Trade Center towers looking for a bathroom. The police come while he is away, leaving a huge fine. Homer decides he has had enough of New York, and he decides to drive the car with the boot still in place. He ruins his car, but then he figures out a way to get it off his front wheel. He picks up the family and drives back to Springfield.
The big surprise at the party honoring Seymour Skinner's 20 years as principal is that the real Seymour Skinner shows up. He has just returned to the US after being held as a POW for 26 years. Our Skinner's real name is Armin Tanzarian, who used to be a real hell raiser in his youth. He met Seymour while serving under him in Vietnam. Feeling rejected, Armand resigns as principal and hits the road. The town tries to get used to the real Seymour Skinner, but can they? The real Seymour is a weenie. Edna and Agnes begin to miss their old Skinner; meanwhile, the impostor Skinner is in a nearby town, advertising a for a strip club. Marge, Edna, and Agnes get together and form a plan to bring him back. They travel to meet him and he claims to be a changed man. He has a seedy apartment and a subscription to "Swank." They convince him to return and then the town gets rid of the real Skinner and Judge Snyder orders that they never to discuss him again and everything is back to normal.
The house is hot and sticky, and the Simpsons do not have air conditioning. Lisa has no place to practice her saxophone and it ends up being destroyed. Lisa asks the family to tell about how she originally got the instrument. In a flash back to the 1980s, Bart is having trouble in school. Homer and Marge go to talk to the school counselor and they bring Lisa along. The counselor notices that Lisa is a child prodigy. They look for a preschool that will help develop Lisa's gifts. Finding them too expensive, Homer gets her a saxophone instead, using the air conditioner fund. After telling the story, Homer decides to take the new air conditioner fund and buys her a new saxophone.
a)."The Homega Man" Quimby insults the French government who launch a neutron bomb in retaliation at Springfield. Homer escapes the blast and begins enjoying himself in seemingly deserted Springfield. b)."Fly vs. Fly" The family visits Prof. Frink's yard sale. Homer purchases a matter transporter. Bart uses it in an attempt to become "Superfly." c)."Easy-Bake Coven" In 1649 Marge is accused of being a witch. It turns out she and her sisters actually are witches who learn that it is easy to scare people into giving them treats.
Homer brings the family to see a soccer game, which is so unbelievably lame, the crowd begins to riot. It continues out into the streets. Homer listens to home security companies, but opts instead to buy a gun, which he can't have for five days, which infuriates him. After the necessary time passes, he gets his gun, which he shows the family and demonstrates how to use it in a shockingly irresponsible way. Marge and Lisa are against his ownership of a gun. To convince them how great guns are, he brings the family to an NRA meeting, where he becomes a lifetime member. Marge is still really angry about the whole matter and Homer continues to do unsafe things with the gun. When he shoots things accidentally at the dinner table, it is the last straw. He agrees to get rid of the gun, but later Bart and Milhouse find it in the vegetable crisper. Marge takes the kids and goes to live in a motel. Now that he lives alone, Homer holds a gun-nut meeting at the house. He appalls them with his behavior, so they kick him out. He goes to get Marge back, saying that he got rid of the gun, again. When Snake holds up the motel, Homer pulls out his gun. He asks her to take the gun from him so he can't lie to her again. She takes the gun and disposes of it, or does she?
The kids of Springfield are getting fat so the parents put their children in pee-wee football. The team is undefeated until the taunts of Homer cause winning coach Flanders to quit, leaving Homer in charge. To make up for the discouragement he felt as a child, Homer decides to make Bart his star quarterback. Nelson was Flanders' quarterback, and was flawless. Homer cuts just about everybody from the team and Bart feels terrible as the new quarterback, especially with Nelson sitting on the bench watching him suck. The team hates him for his lack of quarterbacking skills. Bart decides to try to get out of playing, so he pretends to get hit by two cars on the way to practice. Homer says he is going to forfeit the game and Bart tells him the truth about not wanting to be the quarterback. He announces he is quitting the team. Homer starts Nelson at quarterback and they are back on the winning track. At home Homer gives Bart a hard time for being a quitter. They make up and Homer makes Bart the starting offensive tackle for the championship game. The cops come during the game, wanting to arrest Nelson. Bart pretends he is Nelson, allowing the team to win the game and the championship. They try unsuccessfully to carry Homer off the field.
Springfield has a bachelor auction, but none of Springfield's bachelors are the least bit attractive. Five women pool their money together and bid on Apu. They share him and he becomes quite the ladies' man. He is discussing his new life with Homer when his mother's letter arrives, reminding him that he has to have an arranged marriage. He tells his mother that he is already married, so she comes to meet his wife. Homer lets him pretend that Marge is his wife and Apu and his mother stay with the Simpsons. While Homer is pretending to not be married to Marge, he discovers the joys of living in a retirement home. Apu's mother hates Marge and she eventually figures it out the deception, so she goes on with plans for Apu's arranged marriage. Everyone shows up for Apu's marriage and Homer tries unsuccessfully to stop the ceremony. Apu finds to his surprise that his wife is a wonderful woman, and decides to marry her as planned.
Lisa protests the building of a shopping mall on sacred ground. Her protest gets the school the ability to conduct an archaeological dig. Lisa's digging reveals a human skeleton that has wings. All Springfield is convinced it is an angel and Homer cashes in; however, Lisa is skeptical. The skeleton disappears and when it reappears it carries a foreboding message about the end of the world. As sundown approaches, the townspeople grow concerned and frightened, but nothing catastrophic happens. The skeleton floats down below the valley to a new discount shopping mall ("the end is near ... for high prices!"). Lisa figures out the whole "end is near" saga was a publicity stunt staged by the developers, not so much to not tip off would-be competitors but, as she angrily states, a way to prey on the beliefs and fears of the guillible. She calls for a boycott of the mall, but the bargain-hunting public immediately go shopping instead.
Marge is bored and Homer is just laying around one Saturday afternoon, when they decide to go to the police auction. Homer buys a muscle car that had previously belonged to Snake. He takes Marge for a wild ride and she demands to get out. She meets Lionel Hutz, who is now working as a realtor. He invites Marge to work there. So Marge (with help from Lisa and Bart) studies and passes the exam for a real estate license. Once on the job, she has trouble lying to customers (a prerequisite in real estate). She has to sell a house fast to keep her job, so she lies to the Flanders and sells them a house where murders took place. They move into the house, and the guilt sets in on Marge, who goes to tell them the truth. Meanwhile, Homer is joyriding and prison escapee Snake tries to hijack his car. A fight ensues and they crash into the murder house. Marge lets Flanders rip up the deposit. Soon afterwards, a jobless Marge goes on unemployment.
We open with Homer and Marge doing the Christmas shopping. Back at home Marge tells the family that she has all the alarm clocks, so no one can wake up early and open the presents. Bart drinks a bunch of water so he can wake up and do just that. He plays with his new fire truck and burns down and melts their plastic Christmas tree and all of the presents. He buries the evidence in the yard and tells the family that he saw a burglar stealing the presents and tree. They get on the news in one of Kent Brockman's human interest stories. When the town sees them on television, they all come by to give them money. Homer buys a car with the money and wrecks it. The next morning Bart reveals the truth to the family. When Kent Brockman comes by for a follow-up report his crew discovers the torched remains of the presents. When the town sees the news report, they treat the Simpson family as pariahs. The townspeople decide to make it even by picking their house bare and stealing everything.
Homer rents "Paint Your Wagon" and is put off by all the singing and dancing, especially by tough guys Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin. The rest of the family reminds him via clips about the many times he and other members of the family and town have broken into song and dance.
Bart and Lisa are trying to get out of yard work. When Colonel Tex's carnival comes to town, Homer takes the family. He keeps talking about how much he admires carnies even though they are sleazy and rat-like. He meets a father (Cooder) and son working the ring toss game. Cooder tricks him, as Homer is really, really stupid in this episode. Tex is displaying Hitler's Mercedes, and Bart cannot resist getting behind the wheel. When Bart wrecks it, Homer and Bart agree to work until they repay the debt. They have to do a bunch of unpleasant work. When Cooder has to go to an AA meeting with his son, Homer and Bart take their place at the ring toss game. Wiggum drops by for a bribe, and Homer is too stupid to negotiate with him so Wiggum shuts down the game. When Cooder returns, he learns that he is out of a job. Conforming to the carny code, they allow Cooder and son to stay at their house. Cooder is so appreciative to Marge and Homer that he gives them tickets for a boat ride. When they return from their trip, they find the windows boarded up and Cooder and his son squatting in their house. The family has to stay in the tree house, since Chief Wiggum is holding a grudge and refusing to help them. They devise a plan to trick Cooder and get the house back (one that DOESN'T involve setting the house on fire). When they succeed life will return to normal, well as normal as it can be for this family.
Homer gets a brochure from a religious group at the airport and being highly gullible, he goes to their retreat. Because of Homer's intelligence quotient they have more trouble brainwashing him than the rest of Springfield most of who are all sucked into joining this cult. When they finally succeed with Homer, he signs over the family house to the Leader. The Leader begins taking over various media outlets, making Mr. Burns envy him. Seeing an opportunity to pay even less in taxes, Mr. Burns tries to form his own cult, although he is unsuccessful. Homer and the family move to an agricultural compound and begin picking beans. When the children become just as brainwashed as Homer, Marge escapes and enlists the help of Lovejoy, Flanders, and Willie to kidnap her family. They are able to deprogram them and then Homer tries to show the cult that the Leader is a fraud. When he does, and life returns to normal.
Bart and Lisa are in a United Nations club, with each kid representing a country. The kids go on a field trip, but there is an accident and Otto drives the bus off a bridge into the water. The bus drifts out to sea, and Otto abandons ship. Chinese fishermen soon pick him up and make him their slave. Meanwhile the children and the bus wash up onto a deserted island. Bart is full of ideas on how they should live, but none of them work very well. They find the food that was onboard the bus and it is their only sustenance. Soon afterward it is gone and everyone is hungry, and Milhouse is accused. They have a trial in which Bart is the judge, but Milhouse is found not guilty by lack of evidence. The rest of them riot at the verdict and chase Bart, Lisa, and Milhouse into a cave, where they find the true culprit, a hog. The kids (besides Lisa) slaughter it and have themselves a nice meal. Who will save them? Let's say Moe. While all of this is going on, Homer finds out that Flanders has an Internet company. Homer sets up a business on the Internet, after all, if Flanders can, why can't he? His new business piques the interest of Bill Gates who comes to the house to put him out of business.
The Simpsons go to a mall to buy shoes and a guy tries to get them to come to a stand-up comedy charity event. Bart notices Krusty will not be there, so he pleads with Jay Leno to make him part of it. Krusty agrees and does his typical routine, which bombs, so he goes on a bender. Kent Brockman fills in for him on his show; meanwhile Bart invites Krusty to stay with his family. While at the Simpsons' home, Krusty asks for advice on his act. He tries to do observational comedy for them, but it does not work. He calls a press conference to announce his retirement and he begins talking in a brutally honest way, which makes the reporters laugh. Feeling confident again, he decides to return to comedy and does his new stand-up routines at all the night clubs, including Moe's. He refuses to sell out like he did before and Springfield loves him. A couple guys approach him about shilling a new sport-utility vehicle and he agrees to do commercials for the "Canyonero". When he tells everyone at Moe's, he loses their support.
Homer sneaks off to a bar to hide from Marge, but while he is at the bar, Homer sings Marge praises. He notices how bitter Moe is and realizes that Moe has not had a girlfriend in a long time. He takes Moe out to another bar to meet chicks. He has no luck, but somehow meets the perfect woman later. He is not exactly smooth with her, but she really seems to like him. He begins to treat her like royalty; unfortunately, he maxes out his Player's Club card and has to find a way to make money. He and Homer decide on a plan where Homer will steal Moe's car and destroy it on the train tracks. The insurance fraud plan hits a snag when Homer steals the car and stops to see a drive-in movie, instead of going straight to the tracks. Homer switches to another plan and sinks the car to the bottom of the lake. The cops are watching him the entire time, so he goes to jail. Moe refuses to stick up for him, because he doesn't want to lose his girlfriend. Homer makes a jail break and Moe eventually tells his girlfriend about his debt, and pitches a plan to her where he will fake his death. That's enough for her, so she leaves him. He goes on with the plan anyway and he sets the bar a blaze. Homer saves him, and their friendship is restored. Without the bar, Moe turns Homer's place into the new hangout.
After having trouble trying to solve a brainteaser and other mounting evidence, Lisa fears that the Simpson gene, Grampa has told her about, is afflicting her. Meanwhile, Grampa's friend Jasper places himself in suspended animation in Apu's freezer. Jasper wants to see the future. Seeing an opportunity to make money, Apu turns the KWIK-E-MART into a FREAK-E-MART. Lisa gathers evidence on her newfound stupidity and fears she will turn into another Simpson moron. She gives an editorial on the news on how people should nurture their brains while they still can. Homer tries to show her that not all Simpsons are troglodytes. He gathers them on the front lawn and asks each what they do. It turns out all the men ARE idiots and the women, by comparison, are freakin' geniuses. Lisa feels relieved with the proof. Jasper awakes from his frozen state and Apu loses his gimmick.
The Simpsons go to a wonderful new museum. While there, Marge notices what a nice boy Ralph Wiggum is. Marge forces Bart to have a play date with Ralph. Ralph is so stupid and annoying that Bart wants to strangle him. Marge makes him go outside with Ralph. Ralph seems to be a pyromaniac. They go to the Wiggum's residence and Bart finds out that Ralph's father (Chief Wiggum) has a lot of neat stuff, including a master key that will unlock every door in Springfield. Bart goes over for a sleepover and swipes it. He and Ralph wander the town, running into the bullies. Nelson, Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney take them to the abandoned prison. Bart and Ralph play around with the electric chair, leaving it on when they leave. Quimby wants to show the town the electric chair on the news. He wants to pretend to be electrocuted, thinking that the chair is off. Bart and Ralph see what is about to happen on the news and they have to prevent it. Bart goes to Lisa for a quick solution and she shoots a rocket at the prison which contains an explanation. Instead it goes into Burns' office, and he turns off the power after Quimby has almost been killed. Ralph's conscience tells him to burn down the house.
Homer gets fired from the nuclear plant and decides to join the Naval Reserve. Other reservists include Moe, Barney, and Apu. Meanwhile, Bart gets an earring to look cool, but Homer makes him quit wearing it and ends up taking it with him to sea. Because of Homer's nuclear experience, he is assigned to a nuclear submarine. The Captain likes Homer because of his witty and wise remarks and he promotes him. During a war game exercise, the Captain leaves Homer in charge; things get bad, when the Captain becomes incapacitated. Homer makes some bad decisions and nearly starts a war. Bart's earring comes in handy when the ship springs a leak.
Homer realizes too late that taxes are due, so he cheats on his taxes and files them just in the nick of time. When the IRS subjects Homer to an audit, they agree to let Homer off if he will agree to help the FBI and become a tool of government oppression. He tries to rat on his friends about their illegal conquests and the government enjoys his work so much that they have him attempt a very special assignment. Mr. Burns has a trillion dollar bill that he stole from the government long ago. Homer tries to find it in his mansion, under the guise of writing a magazine article on Burns. When he finds it, the feds bust in and arrest Mr. Burns, but Homer foils their attempt and runs away with Burns and Smithers. They decide to leave the country with the bill and they wind up in Cuba, where they try to buy the country from Fidel Castro. Castro steals the bill and they have to return in disgrace. Mr. Burns vows to bribe the jury and get them all off scot-free.
Bart pulls a prank on Willie, leaving him homeless. Lisa becomes anchor for a new news program for kids, with help from Bart, Nelson and Milhouse. Bart's on camera presence gets him upgraded to co-anchor. After he overhears his sister calling him stupid, Bart seeks some advice from Kent Brockman on how to be an anchor. He follows Brockman's advice and begins covering human interest stories that make him popular and Lisa jealous. Bart pretends to be emotional about people's problems. Lisa devises a plan to expose Bart for being a phony. Bart ends up at a junkyard, where Willie attempts to kill him. Lisa saves the day by using the same phony rhetoric that makes Bart so popular. Meanwhile, Homer gets a helper monkey, after lying by saying it was for his disabled father. Marge and the monkey do not see eye-to-eye. The monkey gets lazy and fat after hanging out with Homer. Marge demands that Homer give him back before he dies.
The greeting card industry cooks up a new holiday called "Love Day". The Simpsons celebrate, creating a lot of garbage. When Homer takes it out, he gets into a confrontation with the garbage men and they refuse to pick up his trash anymore. Soon the family has huge trash piles all around their home. Homer wakes to find all the trash gone one day and he finds out that Marge has written an apology to city hall and signed his name. He goes down to retract his apology and he meets with Ray Patterson, the Sanitation Commissioner. When Homer decides that he doesn't like Patterson, Homer registers to run in the election for Sanitation Commissioner against him. Homer starts his campaign, but he is inconsistent in his views and his campaign antics include interrupting a U2 concert. While reflecting on his failure to reach the voters, he stumbles upon the ultimate campaign slogan, "can't someone else do it?" Under the plan, the garbage men will do every unpleasant job you could imagine. Homer's crazy promises and sleazy methods win him the election by a landslide. To keep his promises he spends an unbelievable amount of money, like the entire year's budget in the first month. To make up the deficit, Homer allows other cities to ship their trash to Springfield, which he has placed in an old abandoned mine. The mineshaft isn't bottomless and something has got to give, so it does. The explosion of trash wreaks havoc all over town. Ray Patterson refuses to come back and replace Homer. Mayor Quimby executes plan B, which is to move the entire town five miles down the road.
The Simpsons watch a Rainier Wolfcastle movie and later at the church picnic, the kids play "capture the flag." Homer joins Bart's team to compete with Flanders, but Homer fails miserably, because he is horribly out of shape. When this really starts bothering him, he starts jogging. He finds a gym while jogging, and Rainier Wolfcastle is there. Rainier helps him get into tremendous shape and after a few months, Homer reveals this to the family and Bart is very impressed. When the Powersauce energy bar company comes to offer Rainier a gig to climb the "Murderhorn," the tallest mountain in Springfield, he refuses, so Bart volunteers Homer for the job. Not wanting to disappoint Bart again, Homer goes for it. Homer is given Sherpas to help him, but he fires them so that he can do it alone. Even when Powersauce stops sponsoring him, Homer continues in his quest to make Bart proud of him and he reaches the top and succeeds.
With the day off from school, Bart uses some industrial adhesive to glue novelty items to his face. As a result Marge must take him to the doctor to have the items removed, preventing Lisa from attending an exhibit at the museum. Lisa asks her if she can take the bus downtown. Marge tells her no, so Lisa uses her brain to outwit her father into letting her take her first solo bus trip. Despite her brain, Lisa gets on the #22A bus instead of the #22. Lenny and Carl make Homer realize that he should not have allowed her to go by herself, so he leaves work in search of her. Meanwhile Lisa has ended up somewhere outside of town. Homer gets into a cherry-picker to survey the town and he sees her, just before he almost gets killed. He tells her about the wonders of taking stupid risks and to demonstrate his point, they break into the museum after it closes. While there, they make an anthropological discovery.
When their anniversary dinner is a flop and their love life seems to lack luster, they try to spice it up. Homer and Marge seek to spice up their love life by traveling to a bed & breakfast. Meanwhile, Lisa and Bart use Grampa's mine detector to find treasure and they find an alternate to in Casablanca. Homer and Marge discover that the fear of getting caught is the spice they need until they are caught bearing it all.
After talking to Apu, Homer decides to try to make money off selling used grease. He goes in search of it, but finds that others have had the same plan. Lisa meets a new girl at school; one who is cool and becomes very popular. Lisa feels jealous towards the new girl, but masks it by trying to fit in with her new clique. Homer takes Bart out of school to help him with the grease business. Lisa tries to impress everyone by planning a school dance. All the girls start trying to act like adults, which makes Lisa very uncomfortable. As the dance gets underway, Homer and Bart try to steal grease from Willie's cafeteria stash. This results in grease raining down from the ducts. The kids have fun in the mess, making them all children again.
Homer listens to the radio in his car, only to realize that he has lived half his life. In the ensuing days, he falls into a deep depression. The family throws a party to cheer him up, and Lisa mentions Thomas Edison. Fascinated by Edison, Homer studies up on all his inventions. He tells EVERYBODY about how great he was and Marge makes him realize that he, Homer Simpson, can be just as great as his idol. For his mid-life crisis, Homer quits his job he decides to become an inventor, like Thomas Edison. The problem is that he cannot think of anything good; the best he can do is an electric hammer. When he unveils his first four hilarious inventions, Marge tells him that they suck. However he does have one useful invention, a chair that is impossible to tip. He plans to patent it, only to discover that Edison had already secretly invented it. He and Bart go to the Edison museum to destroy the chair, so that Homer can get full credit. While there, Homer realizes that he cannot do that to Edison. Soon afterward, Edison gets credit for the chair AND the hammer that Homer left behind at the museum.
Marge takes the family to the Family Fun Center. She notices Nelson, who is acting like quite a jerk. Bart tries to befriend Nelson after he wins a BB gun, but Marge forbids any interaction with Nelson. Bart defies her and begins hanging out with him. Bart accidentally shoots a bird with Nelson's BB gun. When Marge finds him, she is horrified that he would kill an animal. Bart begins to secretly take care of the bird's eggs. When they hatch in front of the family, they reveal themselves to be lizards. When he and Marge take them to a bird-watching club, they find out that the lizards are outlawed. Skinner wants to kill them, as the law requires, but Bart lets them escape, and soon the town becomes overrun with them. Bart is later made a hero when the lizards kill all of the town's pigeons.
a)."Hell Toupée" It's his third strike, Snake is sent to the electric chair. He vows revenge on all on those who were there when he was caught, Apu, Moe & Bart. Snake is electrocuted and his organs are saved for transplant. The beneficiary of his hair is one Homer J. Simpson. The hair begins exacting the revenge promised by its former owner. b)."The Terror of Tiny Toon" Marge takes the batteries from the TV remote control. Bart substitutes plutonium with strange results as he and Lisa become cartoon characters in an episode of Itchy & Scratchy, where the violence is real. c)."Starship Poopers" When Maggie gets her first tooth, a fang, and loses her legs, which are replaced by tentacles. Marge confesses that Homer is not the father, but rather Kang is. To settle the dispute on what would be better for Maggie's future, Bart suggests they go on The Jerry Springer Show and of course a fight or two breaks out.
Homer dreams about being Yogi Bear, but instead of going to a national park in search of picnic baskets, the Simpson family goes to the beach. While there, Homer tries parasailing and given his size the rope breaks and he flies off into a forest. He crash lands through a mansion's roof, winding up in bed with Kim Basinger. He finds that she and Alec Baldwin are Springfield's newest and most secretive residents. Homer befriends them and becomes their gofer. He soon also works for their friend, Ron Howard and Homer tries to pitch a ridiculous screenplay to them. Even though he was sworn to secrecy, one night Homer tells the gang at Moe's about his new celebrity friends. People swarm their mansion, ruining any sense of privacy. Homer is fired, of course, but he becomes bitter, and sets up "the museum of Hollywood jerks." They are steamed, so they run him down and get back their stuff. They sue Homer, so that he cannot legally bother them anymore. They all leave for Hollywood to pitch movies. Ron pitches Homer's ridiculous screenplay and gets a picture deal.
Burns is looking for better employees, so he makes a recruitment film and Homer is one of the actors. He decides to apply to the Screen Actors Guild, but realizes that he does not know his middle name. He and his father travel to the hippie commune where his mother used to live. The two hippies who live there have lost their way, and are now running a very successful juice company. They reveal that Homer's middle name is Jay. The trip inspires Homer to become a hippie, so he quits showering, to the horror of Marge. He tries to "freak out" the establishment with his two new acquaintances; but in doing so, Homer manages to screw up their next juice delivery, so they banish him. In order to make it up to them, he takes some vegetables, makes juice out of them, and delivers a shipment around Springfield. It turns out that he put peyote in the drinks, so the cops come to bust them. In the melee, Homer gets shot in the face (or so it would seem).
After church, the Simpsons go to the grocery store for free samples. Homer picks out a small lobster with plans to raise him until he is big. Homer stuffs Lisa into the freezer to find a better flavor of ice cream and it results in her getting sick. She stays home and she becomes addicted to one of Bart's old video games. When she gets her homework from Ralph, she doesn't do it. She's so addicted to playing the game that she even fakes being sick, when she has gotten better. Marge sees through her ruse and she has to return to school. She finds out that she has to take a test, so she buys an old test off of Nelson and aces it. Her A gets attention from Principal Skinner and he tells her that it raised the school's GPA enough to where they qualify for a grant. When Lisa admits that she cheated on the test, Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers do not want anyone to know. Lisa confesses to everyone at a presentation, but Skinner manages to get the grant anyway by tricking her. Meanwhile, Homer has been treating Pinchy the lobster as his pet; however, one day he gives it a nice, hot bath and accidentally boils him. So he eats him.
The Simpsons, including Abe, visit a ghost town where Abe drinks a lot of sarsaparilla. On the way home, Abe really needs to go to the bathroom, but Homer is more interested in making good time. Abe visits the doctor soon afterward, finding out that his kidneys exploded. There is only one way to save him... Homer must donate one of his. Homer agrees, and everybody treats him like a king but his friends at the bar wise him up to the risk involved. So when it comes time for the operation, he chickens out and flees. He goes aboard a ship of lost souls and tells them his story. They are so disgusted that he would leave his father to die that they throw him overboard. So Homer decides to go back and save him, but he chickens out again, only to have a terrible mishap. He wakes up in a hospital bed, sans one kidney. Abe is alive and well, and Homer can ask Bart for a kidney anytime he wants.
The Simpsons are watching a cheesy TV movie, when it is interrupted by a commercial for a sci-fi convention, Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con. Mark Hamill, ALF, and the gay robots from "Star Wars" are scheduled to be there. The family goes to the convention, but Homer feels uncomfortable amidst the nerds. Mark Hamill comes out to talk about Sprint, and Homer is the only one interested. There is a riot when Hamill asks for a volunteer and when Hamill and Mayor Quimby are attacked; Homer does a little nerd-bashing. Disappointed with his own security, Quimby trains and hires Homer to become his bodyguard. Homer accompanies Mayor Quimby everywhere around town and doesn't care when Quimby is taking bribes. He suddenly does care when he finds out that Quimby is paying Fat Tony to milk rats for cheap school milk. He threatens to quit if Quimby does not stop this arrangement. Quimby does, and he puts Fat Tony in jail. Fat Tony swears revenge, but Homer is confident that he can protect Quimby. He takes Quimby to a musical, starring Mark Hamill and Fat Tony just happens to be there with his hit men. Homer does everything he can to save Quimby's life, but Fat Tony crudely gets his revenge on the mayor with a baseball bat.
Springfield implodes its casino. When Homer goes to the car wash, he sees that Flanders is getting a senior citizens' discount. He calls Flander's out in church and Flander's confesses that he is 60-years-old, his youthful appearance is due to three C's, Clean living, Chewing thoroughly, a daily dose of vitamin Church and resisting all major urges. Homer accuses him of never living a day in his life. This makes him wish for more interesting experiences and since Homer is the king of such experiences, Homer offers to help Flanders. Flanders gives Homer his power of attorney and Homer takes him to Las Vegas. They go on a drunken binge at a casino, only to wake up with new wives. They run from their new wives and all the famous Vegas personalities chase them down and kick them out of town. What story will they tell their real wives about where they have been? Easy, they were abducted by aliens at Wal-Mart and gang-probed.
Homer hates the Isotopes until they start winning. When they win the big game, he, Barney, Lenny, and Carl go on a drunken binge and wind up vandalizing the elementary school. With no suspects, Chief Wiggum assumes it was the children, so he imposes a curfew. The kids break the curfew by going to see a horror movie at the drive-in. Chief Wiggum catches them and makes them do community service. They decide to get even with the adults by broadcasting their secrets on the radio. The adults figure out where they broadcast from and bust them again. Each generation voices its concerns in a musical number and the seniors have the last laugh though, because they vote for a curfew for anyone under 70.
Homer gets a coupon book in the mail and a tire dealer takes advantage of his gullibility. In the waiting room, he meets a travel agent. He cuts Homer a deal where Homer can go to the Super Bowl free of charge if he fills the bus with his friends and acquaintances. Homer fills his part of the deal, so he and Bart take off for Miami. Marge and Lisa are bored, so they try to play a Vincent Price Easter game. When a piece is missing, they call Vincent for the part. Meanwhile Homer and his bus make it to Miami, but they realize their tickets are fakes. They then break into the stadium, only to be arrested, but with help from Dolly Parton, they break out of their cell at halftime and run amuck during the game. They end up in a confrontation with billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch in his skybox. They run away, leading to the winning team's locker room celebration. To cap it off, Homer gets to talk to President Clinton. As they leave, Madden and Summerall give their thoughts on the episode.
A mid-season replacement series features a suave and debonair character named Detective Homer Simpson. Homer is delighted and begins to capitalize on his new namesake, until the second episode airs and his namesake is rewritten to be a stupid bumbling fool. Homer goes to appeal to the producers. Then he tries to sue, but instead winds up get his named legally changed to Max Power. His new name gives him a new attitude, which moves him into a whole different social class. But is society ready for him?
Homer and Marge go to Apu's for dinner. Apu and Manjula have a big fight, but Apu vows to win back her love in the seven days before Valentine's Day. His efforts are so romantic that the whole town notices. All the wives around Springfield are envious of them, and Marge lets Homer know that he needs to do something romantic. The husbands of Springfield get together and decide to foil Apu's seventh and final attempt. In this one, Apu will have a skywriter write a love message for her. Homer tries to prevent this, and somehow ends up winning Marge's heart.
After the Simpsons leave a school talent show, we discover that Marge is a very passive driver. Homer sees the Canyonero and decides to buy the SUV for himself. He soon discovers that it is an SUV designed for soccer moms. He quits driving it and Marge starts using it. It is the perfect automobile for her and she becomes more aggressive behind the wheel. She gets pulled over for road rage and has to go to traffic school. Her problems are more extensive than the other students and she gets into trouble again. Marge's driver's license is revoked. Meanwhile, Homer has taken Bart and Lisa to the zoo. When the rhinos begin stampeding, they become trapped. At Chief Wiggum's request, Marge comes to the rescue using the power of her SUV and road rage to save the day, ultimately at the cost of her Canyonero.
Homer gets drunk and when he returns home, he realizes that he has to spend quality time with the kids. Upon Lisa's request, he brings them to a Smithsonian exhibit, sponsored by Omnitouch. While there, Homer ruins the Bill of Rights and he winds up owing Omnitouch $10,000. Since the company wants to put a cell site in his area of Springfield, Homer lets them build the antenna tower in his yard and the equipment to run it in Lisa's room. Lisa now has to share a room with Bart. Lisa is driven crazy by Bart and she has no place to do her homework. She begins to have stomach problems due to the stress. She wants to go to a new age shop to find a cure. Homer brings her there and they both sit in sensory deprivation tanks for a couple hours. Lisa hallucinates like she is supposed to, but Homer is just bored. Repo men come to take one of the tanks, taking Homer on a wild ride in the back of a truck. Lisa begins to realize that it is often her fault that she and Homer are drifting apart. In the end when they are together again, Homer and Lisa go to a demolition derby together.
Lisa is going to protest a new restaurant; it is a steak house that allows you to kill your steak. The family, sans Lisa, goes there. Homer loses a challenge to eat "Sirloin A Lot", a 16-lb. steak. His competitor, the winner and a truck driver dies just after his victory. Homer feels bad, so he decides to take over the trucker's shipment and takes Bart with him. Lisa and Marge stay home, and are bored, so they decide to buy a new doorbell and install it themselves. Meanwhile, Homer falls asleep at the wheel of his truck and finds out that truckers have a scam going; they have an auto-driver that drives the truck for them. Other truckers warn him not to blab about it...or else. Homer does anyway, and it forces him into a confrontation with the other truckers. Homer and Bart manage to escape and complete the shipment. But how will he and Bart get home? It's easy when he volunteers to drive a train filled with Napalm bound for Springfield. Back in Springfield, the doorbell that Marge and Lisa installed has gone on the fritz and is playing a Carpenters' song really, really loud. It's up to Señor Ding Dong to come and save the day.
Reverend Lovejoy decides to give the congregation an extra dose of religion and the Simpsons begin falling asleep in church having religious dreams. Marge dreams that she and Homer are Adam and Eve. Lisa's dream is that she is an Israelite and Moses (Milhouse) is going to lead their people to freedom. Homer dreams that he is King Solomon and Bart dreams that he is King David and Nelson is Goliath II. After sleeping through the service, they leave the church only to find that the apocalypse is occurring.
Homer reluctantly agrees to do some yard work, but his trip to home improvement store results him buying a do-it-yourself barbecue pit. His feeble attempt results in something that an art enthusiast considers "outsider art." When Burns pays big bucks for Homer's piece, he decides he is an artist. However, fame is fleeting because his art has become repetitive. So he concocts an idea that simply floods Springfield with good feelings about art.
Homer orders 1000 springs and tries to get rid of them in various schemes. The Olympics are coming to Springfield due to a letter written by Lisa (and Homer even designs a springy Olympic mascot), but Bart's comedy routine, that all the children laugh at, keeps them away. As punishment, the children are given community service work. Bart's and Lisa work at the Springfield Retirement Castle and there Bart finds a bunch of old people who need to be young again, so he takes them on an adventure out to sea on a yacht. So he tries helping them to find their youth. When the boat starts sinking, it is Homer who inadvertently saves the day with his springs.
The family is sitting around watching television one afternoon when Marge makes them go for a walk. They end up at a new mega-store, owned by Arthur Fortune, who wins everyone's love by giving them $1 bills. Burns is there, and he envies the relationship the younger billionaire with the public. He goes to Homer, asking him to help make him a beloved billionaire. Homer's attempts fail after Burns goes on a shock radio show hosted by Jerry Rude. They form a plan in which they will go to Scotland with Willie and Prof. John Frink in an attempt to catch the Loch Ness monster. They bring it back to Springfield and unveil it to the public, but things go haywire, and this plan fails, too. In the end the monster gets a job working at Springfield's casino.
There is a gross-out contest in Springfield and the citizen's profound lack of intelligence forces Lisa to try to change them. She joins MENSA after a letter she writes impresses the brainy Springfield population. They all go to Quimby to confront him on Springfield's mass idiocy problem. Quimby misunderstands and thinks that they are trying to arrest him. He flees, leaving the most intelligent people of Springfield in charge. They try to make a plan that will make Springfield a utopia; but when they present their ideas, they go too far and a riot ensues. It's up to Stephen Hawking to save the day. Meanwhile, Homer takes sexually suggestive pictures of himself for Marge.
The Simpsons go to a cyber-cafe to see a website with monkeys doing it. Snake cyber-robs Homer of his life savings. He and Marge had been saving up for a vacation. Homer goes to rob Flanders and instead Flanders tells him about living thrifty. Homer steals Flanders' ticket to the "Mega Savings Seminar". The trick is to be cheap. The Simpson family goes to the airport and attempts to get mega-saver airline tickets. They end up getting tickets to Japan. Once there, Lisa wants to discover Japanese culture; instead they eat at an American restaurant. Homer and Bart go to watch Sumo wrestling. Then they get in trouble and go to jail. They get out and lose the remainder of their money. The US Ambassador to Japan recommends that they get jobs. They start working at a fish-gutting factory. After realizing that the job sucks, they decide to go on a game show called "The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show". On the show they face physical torture...well, Homer does anyway. They end up winning plane tickets back home. On their flight back, Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, et cetera almost capture their plane. The end credits show the Japanese cartoon that gives people seizures.
Homer test drives an electric car so that he can win a free gift. The free gift is being part of the test audience for Mel Gibson's new remake of "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington." Everyone loves the film except Homer. Mel Gibson shows up after the screening and they all worship him...except Homer. The audience fills out cards about the movie and every single one of them loves it...except Homer. Mel reads the cards personally, but Homer's card disturbs him so much that he flies back to Springfield and asks Homer to help him re-edit the film. Homer agrees and the Simpson family goes to Hollywood. Homer has no idea what he is doing, but has no qualms about butting in and voicing his opinions. He walks all over Gibson and his ideas are terrible. The redone movie has a lot more action and it shocks the executives. The executives threaten to destroy the film, so Mel and Homer take it and run. They premiere it in Springfield and everyone hates it, Mel's career is ruined. Homer pitches more movie ideas, but Mel refuses to listen.
Skinner introduces a fire safety skit to the students. When Flanders catches on fire, the fire department tries to extinguish him, but it doesn't work because Bart is pulling a prank with the fire hose. Skinner has Homer and Marge come to the school, where he recommends a behavior drug called Focusyn. Bart is very reluctant about taking it, so Homer tries to trick him. Marge ends up convincing him to take it and Bart soon changes into the perfect student and son. Returning from a movie, Homer and Marge find that Bart has flipped out and become paranoid. When they take him to the doctor, he runs away. The cops search for him. Bart goes to a military base and steals a tank. He aims it at the sky and shoots down a Major League Baseball satellite, saying that MLB is spying on everyone. Mark McGwire comes out of nowhere to talk to them. Marge then takes Bart off of Focusyn and puts him on Ritalin.
Homer takes the kids to the zoo, and then they take a newspaper tour. Homer reveals his talent for identifying food and coincidentally, it is the food critic's last day at the newspaper. Homer writes a sample review on a typewriter. The typewriter has no "e" key, so it turns out to be a pretty bad review. Also in it, he makes threatening statements to the U.N. and repeats the phrase, "Screw Flanders." He pretends that it is a joke and vows to rewrite it. Lisa helps him this time and he gets the job. Homer and Lisa soon give positive reviews to every restaurant in town. At the advice of other food critics, he decides to change his style and he starts giving nothing but bad reviews. Lisa doesn't like his new style, so she leaves him to write the articles on his own. Homer has to review a food festival. Local restaurant owners meet and conspire to kill him with a spectacularly fattening éclair called "La Bombe." Bart overhears them, so he, Marge, and Lisa try to find him before he eats the deadly pastry. Lisa stops him in time and the cops arrest the culprits.
a)."I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did" The family (with Marge driving) runs over and believes that they've killed Ned Flanders. After covering up their misdeed, the family is haunted by someone who knows what they diddily-iddly-did, Ned Flanders himself. b)."Desperately Xeeking Xena" Lisa and Bart are blasted with radiation, get superpowers and become "Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl". In the episode "Enter... The Collector", they must stop Comic Book Guy (a.k.a. "The Collector") who has kidnapped Xena to add his collection. His collection also includes, Yasmine Bleeth , Doctor Who (Tom Baker), Matt Groening and many other recognizable icons. c)."Life's a Glitch, Then You Die" Homer is the nuclear plant's Y2K compliance officer. His negligence causes the Y2K bug to get out and spread across the networks of the world, causing mass destruction. Causing the government's "Operation Exodus" program to be activated, taking the best and brightest off the Earth to a new civilization on Mars.
The Simpson family goes to see a Zorro movie. Snake is rude after the movie, so to protect Marge's honor Homer challenges him to a duel, but Snake runs away at the onset of conflict. Overfilled with confidence, Homer starts challenging everyone to a duel by slapping them his glove. It gets him his way, until he slaps a Southern Colonel. The Colonel accepts his challenge and shows up at his front door at dawn. Homer chickens out and the family flees town. The man and his wife set up camp on Homer's lawn, while the Simpson family searches for a place to stay. Homer remembers Abe's old farm, so they go there and they become farmers. Homer has the repeated misfortune of tractors tipping onto him and he has no luck growing crops. He decides to use plutonium from the nuclear plant as a fertilizer. Radioactive tomatoes grow overnight, but they taste like ashtrays and are highly addictive. Apparently, they are tomatoes mixed with tobacco, which Homer starts marketing as "Tomacco." Lisa has moral problems with it. The Laramie tobacco company offers Homer $150,000,000 for the plant. Homer is not very good at negotiating, so he fails to cash in. When they return home, animals are addicted to the plant. They revolt, a la "Animal Farm" and a sheep destroys the last plant. The family returns home and Homer finishes the duel with a mere flesh wound and a hilarious "Glove Slap" rounds out the episode.
Homer shows up REALLY late for work and as a punishment he has to eat toxic waste. Instead he blows off his punishment and goes bowling with Lenny and Carl and he bowls a perfect 300 game. He gets on the news and becomes a local hero. He speaks to schoolchildren and he appears on "Springfield Squares." His celebrity begins to fade. He compares himself to Jesus. He gets depressed and goes to the top of a tall building and jumps off, but a bungee jumping Otto saves him. He thinks that God has saved him for a higher purpose, so he begins to look for it. He decides it might be his children, but he thinks that it isn't Bart or Lisa since they don't appear to need him. So he takes an interest in raising Maggie. He teaches her how to swim, but she has a fear of the water. When Homer almost drowns, she saves his life. So he teaches her how to bowl and she scores a 295 game.
Apu decides it's time to have children. When he and Manjula don't have any luck conceiving, they get some advice from Homer. Nine months later, Manjula gives birth to octuplets. The free stuff donated to them helps them out, but them a couple from Shelbyville gives birth to nine babies and the free stuff dries up. Then the owner of the local zoo makes an offer to help out, but the catch is the babies are going to be put on display.
Homer and Marge win a Harley in a dance contest. Bart teaches Homer how to ride. Homer bonds with the bike and takes it everywhere, becoming a nuisance. Homer even takes his cycle to church. He forms a motorcycle gang called "Hell's Satans", over runner-up name, "The Christ Punchers". The gang consists of Homer, Moe, Carl, Lenny and even Ned Flanders. The gang gives Chief Wiggum a hard time. They get into a cycle magazine, where the real "Hell's Satans" of Bakersfield see them. The real "Hell's Satans" crash at Homer's place, and destroy everything. Chief Wiggum turns his back on Homer. One day real "Hell's Satans" leave with Marge and Homer goes to try to find her. He goes to biker bars and gets the crap beaten out of him; meanwhile, Marge transforms the gang. She trains them to become upstanding members of society. Homer finds them and starts a brawl. He challenges the leader to a motorcycle duel (they actually duel with motorcycles). Homer wins and reclaims his old lady. On their way back to Springfield, Homer steals a keg from the biker bar.
Bart and Milhouse jump on the bed in drag and Bart breaks his coccyx and he has to begin using a wheelchair. The school is not equipped for a handicapped student, so Skinner makes a deal with Fat Tony. The mob will build ramps. Soon after the ramps are completed, they crumble. To add to the troubles, Fat Tony charges $200,000 for the job. Skinner opts to pay it, but he has to close the school. The neighborhood has a meeting to figure out how to give the kids an education. They try to get Mr. Burns to donate by performing a play. It doesn't work. Then a private company buys the school and reopens it. The new teachers encourage students to break books, and then they ask students about what kinds of toys they like. Lisa makes a shocking discovery about the new ownership; they are a top company and they using the children for research to design the hot new Christmas toy. Lisa and Bart go to investigate the company without success; the company's security guard is Gary Coleman. The kids do discover that the toy, Funzo, destroys other toys. They go to take all of the town's Funzos from people's homes. Homer helps them out and they go to burn them all. Homer, Lisa, and Gary Coleman get into an in depth philosophical discussion that lasts all night (but what sort of philosopher would celebrate Christmas anyway?). When Christmas comes, Homer invites Gary Coleman. It is a wonderful Christmas, thanks to the Simpson family.
Marge tries to get rid of the junk in the attic but Homer won't let her; especially the skis he hasn't used in years. The family goes skiing and Marge manages to break her leg while the rest of the family is out on the slopes. Marge has to stay in the hospital, so Lisa volunteers to take over Marge's duties of the house. She finds that it is quite a challenge when Homer and Bart don't do anything to help. After working hard at it, she finds out what a thankless job it is. Marge is having a good time in the hospital, because they are pampering her. Lisa is starting to get fed up with Homer and Bart, so she makes them think that they have leprosy. Leprosy comes from unclean living conditions, so Lisa thinks her trick will get them to clean the house. They don't; instead they go to Flanders for help. Flanders sends them to a leper colony in Hawaii. There they get carved up by needles and sanders. When they figure out that they don't have leprosy, they go on pretending that they do. Why, because… hey, it's Hawaii!
Remember "Homer Goes to College?" Well, Homer visits his college for old times' sake and reunites with the old nerds. He organizes a prank, but somehow ends up with a bucket stuck on his head. Nothing will get it off, so the Simpson family goes to a faith healer. While there, Brother Faith has Bart pull it off. Bart sees the potential of being a faith healer, so he starts performing miracles of his own. After a while, he forms his own church; but after a miracle performed on Milhouse goes horribly wrong, he realizes that he should quit. Meanwhile, Homer has to build a homecoming float for Springfield University. The family goes to the big homecoming football game. Everyone roots for the star player, a kicker. Until a drunken Homer drives the float onto the field and runs over his leg. Fat Tony threatens Homer with an ice pick, but Homer gets Bart to perform another miracle on the leg. With a taped-up leg, the kicker attempts a big field goal. In doing it, his lower leg breaks off and kicks the ball again in mid-air. The kick is good!
Springfield is going to give an award to the town's oldest man, but when that guy dies, Mr. Burns gets the award instead. He decides to get a check-up at the Mayo Clinic with Smithers. When he leaves, he leaves the Simpson family as caretakers of his mansion. Homer starts living the life of a billionaire, but of course, he is highly destructive. He wants to throw a box social at the mansion for all his friends, but Marge pleads with him not to do it. He tries to get a few kegs for it from Moe, but local law prohibits the sale of alcohol before 2 PM. He cannot wait, so he takes Burns' yacht out to international waters, where no laws apply. Pirates see them whooping it up aboard the yacht and they rob them, put them into nets and then try to drown them. Fortunately they just float in the net back home. Meanwhile at the Mayo Clinic, Mr. Burns is told he has every disease known and unknown to man, it's just that they are all existing and trying to get through the door together in something the doctor's call "Three Stooges Syndrome". The doctors do warn him that a stiff breeze could kill him. Back in Springfield, Burns is not too upset about losing his yacht and the Simpson family returns to living their "simple" life.
Springfield Elementary sends its band to the state fair. When the Simpsons get there, Homer basks in the great sounds of Bachman Turner Overdrive. Lisa seeks justice from on high when their school band loses in competition to another band that does the same tired old school band classic, "Stars and Stripes Forever" and their band does James Brown's "Living in America." so she writes a letter to President Clinton. What does the family after the competition, why they would watch a horse named Duncan dive from a platform. When the owner abandons him, Homer takes the horse home. The Comic Book Guy mentions that this plot has happened previously, but the Simpson family takes the horse home anyway. Homer tries to figure out a way to exploit Duncan. They enter him in a horse race with Bart as his jockey. The horse seemingly has no chance and he finishes last. Homer decides to give him a makeover and Duncan gets a bad-ass gimmick. He becomes Furious D. Marge starts developing a gambling problem, prompting Comic Book Guy to remember another classic episode. Furious D starts winning every race. The jockeys abduct Homer and reveal that they are evil trolls. They threaten him, so Homer has to throw the big race. Furious D wins anyway, and the jockeys come to kill the Simpson family. Homer beats them all by outsmarting them. To round out the "worst episode ever," President Clinton visits Lisa to tell her that he overturned the decision at the state fair.
Lisa takes the family on a hike, and everyone sees a race car driver crash. So the family goes to races. Sitting behind the Simpson family are the Flanders. Homer asks why they are there, Maude replies she likes to look at the yokels. To get the crowd going, T-Shirts are shot out of a cannon. The crowd goes wild, Dr. Hibbert gets one and Homer removes his own shirt, making a spectacle of himself. Maude is embarrassed by his behavior. Maude leaves to get her family hotdogs and when she returns she is hit by a flying T-Shirt and falls over the back of the grandstand to her death. After the funeral, Homer takes it upon himself to get Ned back into the dating scene by creating a video dating tape for him. Ned goes on several bad dates and becomes discouraged, but finds an angel waiting for him at church, when he sees and hears Rachel Jordan, the lead singer of a Christian rock band, singing a song. Ned starts speaking with her as the episode comes to an end.
Homer tries to anonymously pledge $10,000 to PBS to end the pledge break and get his favorite program back on the air. When PBS comes collecting, he goes on the run. Reverend Lovejoy helps Homer out by sticking him on a plane to do some missionary work in the South Pacific. It doesn't take long for Homer to corrupt the native population. Since he doesn't know anything about religion, he has the natives build a casino. Soon the island then turns from a tropical paradise into Atlantic City.
After winning the chance for his photo to appear on a Duff beer calendar, but losing out when the calendar appears with stickers covering his face, Moe gets a facelift. The resulting surgery makes him handsome and then Moe takes revenge on those wrong him because of his looks in the past, including the producer of a soap opera. Of course he new looks get him the part, until he and Homer become privy to some plot lines that threaten to write him out of the show. In anticipation, they decide to go out "in a blaze of sour grapes".
The Simpsons go to an Indian casino when their vacation plans fall apart. Bart encounters a wise Indian chief who tells him his future. Bart becomes a pot-smoking, unemployed slacker who has Ralph Wiggum as his roommate. He regularly begs a blinded Flanders for money (Rod and Todd are gay). Bart tries to lead a band, but he fails. With Lisa as the newly elected President of the United States, he goes to mooch from her. She is very ashamed of him and she is also busy trying to think of a way to get the United States out of debt. Meanwhile, Homer is busy trying to find Lincoln's gold. Lisa tries to hike taxes by using creative phrasing to trick everyone when Bart accidentally reveals that it is actually a tax hike. America owes money to a number of nations, so Lisa invites their leaders to Washington. She sends Bart away so he won't screw up everything again, but Bart manages to return and talks to the nations. Bart manages to save the day this time and with that, his vision ends and the family goes home.
Homer and Bart search through people's garbage for treasure. When Homer goes to Moe's, Barney asks everyone why they didn't celebrate his birthday. It turns out that they did, but he doesn't remember. Moe bought him helicopter lessons as a gag gift. With help from a video Homer shot, he realizes what a drunken loser he really is. He asks for Homer's help in quitting drinking. Barney goes to AA. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa embark on a project to design the next cover of the phone book. They try unsuccessfully to set up inspiring photographs. The sober Barney takes his helicopter lessons and Moe makes Homer the new Barney. Barney and Homer cease being friends. Bart and Lisa try to take a picture on Mount Springfield, but a forest fire traps them. Barney and Homer fly the helicopter to save them. When Barney gets nervous and craves a beer, Homer talks him out of it. They save the kids. Bart and Lisa get their picture on the cover of the phonebook after all, when Marge sends in a baby picture.
Homer gets a collection of magazine surveys. He gives everyone the various tests. After driving Marge crazy, he decides to take a test himself. He takes one that says he has three years to live. With that idea in his head, he develops a bad case of insomnia. Additionally he becomes completely insane. A shrink recommends a visit to Florida to cure his stress. When he and the family arrive, they find that it is Spring Break. Homer sneaks out of his room to enjoy the celebration and attend concerts. Marge and the kids take a tour of the swamps and see the town's most famous alligator. Homer comes home from the concert and is so exhausted and drunk that he sleeps for the remainder of Spring Break. Homer takes the family on a joyride through the swamp and kills the town's most famous alligator. The sheriff arrests the whole family for "gatorcide." Homer escapes police custody with them. A train hits their car as they escape. They all get blue-collar jobs at a Deep South restaurant and stay in a trailer. They love their new lives. The sheriff finds them and hauls them in. After a trial, they end up on a chain gang. After they suffer through forced labor, the alligator turns out to be alive and the Simpson family gets to go home.
Marge notices that Homer's vision is slipping, so she takes him to the mall for laser surgery. While they wait for him, Marge and Lisa see a romantic movie with a tango dancing theme. With that inspiration, Lisa wants to take dance lessons. She starts to learn tap from a former actress. Bart and Milhouse go away to camp, but end up staying at the mall instead. They damage it severely, and Chief Wiggum searches the mall for a giant rat. Lisa struggles in her quest to learn to dance; she finds that she has little to no talent. Bart and Milhouse try to outwit a lion at the mall. Lisa's teacher makes her the curtain puller in the big recital. Professor John Frink sees her troubles and gives her a pair of tap shoes that will make even her look good. At the recital, she dances out onto the stage involuntarily, ruins the production and comes to the realization that she is no dancer.
Otto has a girlfriend who he plans to marry and Bart offers the Simpson house as a place to hold the nuptials. Becky, the would be bride, confesses to Marge that she doesn't like heavy metal, which is a problem when Otto hires "Cyanide," a Poison tribute band to play at their wedding. Becky moves in with the family and the "hip-female" influence she brings to the family begins to get on Marge's nerves. Selma and Patty convince Marge that Becky is out to get her; Marge overreacts and strikes first and winds up appearing before a sanity hearing. Declared insane, she goes "on the lam".
A la VH-1's Behind the Music, a behind the scenes look is taken at the Simpson family's rise to fame, their successful years together and then their feud which resulted in a breakup and solo careers for the family members. The history is as follows: Homer decides to start a television show in the 1980s. He sends in a tape of their family antics to the major networks, and even FOX. They soon become successful, so successful that they waste money. They put out terrible records to supplement their income. Homer gets injured filming a scene, beginning his long addiction to painkillers. They start having financial problems due to their outrageous spending. Apu rats them out to the IRS and they lose everything. The episodes' plots get really lame, too. Bart goes to jail, being replaced by Richie Rich. When he returns, they agree to do an appearance at the Iowa State Fair. It goes to hell when they get in an argument onstage. This is the end of the Simpsons, or is it? Each goes on to do solo projects and they all hold grudges. Homer returns to his first love, the theatre, where he was dissed for literally eating the set. Marge opens a nightclub named "Marge and Friends," Lisa writes a book, and Bart gets a TV show. Perhaps through the efforts of Dr. Hibbert's old college buddy Willie Nelson (musician/taxpayer) the family might be reunited to bring their brand of entertainment back to the millions of viewers who tune in each week.
a). "G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad" Homer dies because he's eaten the deadliest plant on Earth, broccoli. When he arrives at the Pearly Gates of Heaven he finds he cannot get in because he hasn't done one good deed all his life. St. Peter gives him 24 hours to perform at least one. b). "Scary Tales Can Come True" Bart and Lisa are abandoned to the deep dark woods. With a book of Fairy Tales to guide them, the pair navigates their way past a troll and three bears eventually arriving at the house of the witch who lives in the gingerbread house. Meanwhile, Homer and Marge change their minds and he goes in search of the children giving Rapunzel a haircut along the way. c). "Night of the Dolphin" Lisa lets a dolphin go free but it turns out this particular dolphin is the dolphin's king. Now that he has his freedom he plots to take his revenge on the land dwelling humans. Soon the dolphins are back on land where they've belonged all along and the humans are banished to the sea.
When the phone company gives Springfield a new area code, Homer revolts taking the part of Springfield with the new area code (the poor side of town) with him. Soon it's Olde Springfield versus New Springfield. As mayor of New Springfield Homer runs it haphazardly and soon the population of New Springfield moves over to Olde Springfield, leaving the Simpson family as the only residents. It takes a Who concert to bring the two parts of Springfield together.
Homer and Bart fix things around the house using fireworks. They destroy Lisa's room on her birthday, so help make it up to her, the family goes to a book fair, where among other things Krusty is signing his new book. A little girl named Sophie is in line and she tells Krusty that she is his daughter. Krusty flashes back to his role in the Gulf War. Sophie's mother now hates Krusty. Krusty tries spending time with Sophie at the beach, but they don't bond very well. He sees Homer interacting with his kids and gets some parenting advice from his. Krusty gambles away Sophie's violin in a poker game with Fat Tony. She gets very upset with Krusty, so he (with Homer's help) try to steal back the violin. There is a big Mafia summit at Fat Tony's place and Krusty manages to escape with the violin and a bunch of cash. He wins back Sophie's love, but the mob goes after Homer for his role in the caper and shoots at him. Somehow Homer escapes.
Bart wants the new Gamestation 256, so he tries to get a job to earn the money, but his job as a menu boy causes a great deal of paper litter to be strewn about the city making Lisa lament the plight of the trees. Then Lisa falls for a meat protester, which inspires her to join their environmental protection group. Later, when an old redwood tree is danger of being cut down, she begins living in the tree, but her desire to return home becomes to great and she leaves for just a little while. However it's too late because when she returns the next morning the tree has come down. During the night the tree was struck by lightning and the city thinks that Lisa is dead.
Bart gets an A in astronomy, so Homer takes the family out for a celebration dinner. Homer's credit card is declined. He and Marge realize that they are broke, so Homer asks Mr. Burns for a raise. With Smithers away in New Mexico mounting his play about Malibu Stacy; Mr. Burns gives Homer a promotion. Homer has to make Mr. Burns laugh. Homer becomes a clown for him with Homer's life becoming an episode of MTV's "Jackass." As the title indicates, he has no dignity. After a panda rapes him, he begins to hate the job. Lisa discovers his secret and tries to get him to retrieve his dignity. Mr. Burns eventually fires him, so he becomes a department store Santa (again?). He is in a parade as Santa when Mr. Burns offers him $1,000,000 to pull one more prank. When Homer refuses, Mr. Burns does it himself, pouring fish guts onto the children.
As Mr. X Homer starts his own web page where begins revealing Springfield's secrets. He ultimately wins the Pulitzer Prize for his work so he reveals himself to the public. When everyone knows that he is Mr. X his ability to obtain secrets disappears. So he begins making up stories. When one of those stories turns out to be the truth, he is kidnapped and taken to "The Island," a place where those who know too much are taken out of society.
Bart gets a magic set and with it he and Homer try street performing to make money. When it doesn't work out, Homer leaves Bart on his own, fending for himself. Being abandoned by his father makes Bart into a charity case and people just start giving Bart money. So Bart and Homer start working this angle and then get some advice from the man who wrote the book on grifting, Grampa Simpson. When they get busted pulling a scam, they manage to scam their way out of the situation; but Groundskeeper Willy may wind taking the fall, unless Homer or Bart confesses their guilt.
The Simpson family goes to a French circus. While watching the show a huge snowstorm hits the circus tent. It's a relentless snowstorm; everything closes, except for Springfield Elementary. Principal Skinner doesn't want to ruin his "Cal Ripken like streak of school openage." With the teachers at an emergency caucus, Skinner has the kids sit through a terrible film. When they go to leave at the end of the day, they find that the school is snowed in. The kids start to revolt against Skinner, so he gets tough with them. Homer and Flanders go to save the kids, but get stranded in a snow bank. Skinner loses control of the school to the kids, led by Bart and he ends up trapped in a bag. The kids go through the schools records. Skinner sends a hamster out in the snow in an attempt to save himself. Homer and Flanders pass out due to carbon monoxide poisoning and Homer has bizarre fantasies about ranch dressing. The hamster saves them, leaving them free to save the kids. Skinner and Bart agree never to discuss the day again.
The Simpson family goes to an animation convention. Homer falls in love with a new product there and invests the family's life savings in a company that soon declares super-duper bankruptcy. To gain their life savings back, he sells his body for medical testing. The doctors find something odd in his head x-ray. Homer has a crayon lodged in his brain. This explains why he is such a moron. He thinks it is because he shoved crayons up his nose as a child. When the doctors remove the crayon, he gets smarter. This allows him to bond with Lisa. In fact Homer proves to be even smarter than she is. He is so smart that he accidentally proves there is no God. He also blows the whistle on the plant's nuclear safety violations. So the nuclear plant has to close and everyone hates him. He can't find happiness in things he used to like and he can't fit in with the people of Springfield. He decides to have Moe (a licensed surgeon) shove another crayon into his brain and he goes back to being a blissful idiot. Lisa understands why he did it and doesn't hate him for it.
The family attends a prison rodeo and Marge sees artistic potential in one of the inmates after she sees some of his work hanging in the prison infirmary. She volunteers to teach art at the prison and then vouches for her artistic inmate at his parole hearing. Now back in the real world, the inmate needs a job and Marge gets him one at the school, painting a picture depicting school spirit. His take on school spirit and Principal Skinners are at odds. Meanwhile Homer, whose back was injured at the rodeo, seeks the help of chiropractor. He soon discovers that his old trashcan is just as effective as the chiropractor, so he dubs it "Dr. Homer's Miracle Spinal Cylinder" and goes into business for himself. Until the chiropractors take their revenge.
Despite being banned from life forever from the comic book store, Bart and Milhouse take over its management when the Comic Book Guy suffers from a cardiac episode, "the worst episode ever". Their management of the shop is fairly successful, until they discover the Comic Book Guy's secret stash of illegal video clips and begin charging admission for their viewing. Meanwhile, the Comic Book Guy on the road to recovery receives tips from Homer on making friends to no avail. Until a chance meeting with Principal Skinner's mother sparks an unusual relationship.
The Simpsons go to an old folks' talent show. Homer looks into getting a casket for Abe, but instead decides to build a tennis court. He doesn't really like tennis; he got it confused with foxy boxing. All the locals want to use the tennis court. The Simpsons are the L.A. Clippers of tennis. Everyone mocks them behind their backs. Marge is horrified and starts to become competitive. She enters Krusty's tournament without Homer, her partner is Bart. This sets up a situation similar to that of Oedipus. Homer enters the tournament with Lisa as his partner. He turns her against Marge. At the tournament, there are a number of tennis pros in the stands. The stakes rise when Homer recruits Venus Williams and drops Lisa. Marge cries foul, so she is allowed to have Serena Williams as a partner. Serena then dumps Marge and successfully recruits Pete Sampras. Then Venus dumps Homer and successfully recruits Andre Agassi. The Simpson family then makes up. With the tennis court in their backyard, they will resume playing tennis together, right?
Krusty feels pressure from the network to change his show, so he decides to retire for the fifth and final time. Meanwhile, in prison Sideshow Bob becomes outraged when he finds out that Krusty has erased his past by taping over all his old episodes. He gets released from prison and begins plotting his revenge. First he gets an assistant janitor job at Springfield Elementary and then he begins turning Bart into a Krusty killing machine. During the Krusty's final bow, he expresses his regret for what he did to Sideshow Bob just a Bart is about to kill him…
Homer "runs" in the Springfield marathon, but when Bart crashes the end of the race an unruly mob is ready to lynch him. A passing stranger rescues him and offers Bart the opportunity to join a new boy band "Party Posse" as the bad boy. Other members of this new band include, Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph. Using NASA technology to enhance their voices they might just make it. And they will, until it is revealed that their videos and music are rigged to brainwash people into joining the Navy. Their manager goes crazy when the government cuts off his funding, but with a little help from N' Sync, the boys of Party Posse try to save the staff of "Mad Magazine" from certain destruction.
The Simpson family goes to "Blockoland". When Lisa gets ripped off, Homer sticks up for her and is successful. He vows to start helping the little guy. He helps Bart get a girlfriend and helps Marge get her hair streaked. He even tries to help Lenny get a refund from the Springfield Isotopes' owner, H.K. Duff VIII. In doing so, he discovers that the owner is moving the baseball team to Albuquerque. He tries to tell the media about it, but they don't believe him. He vows to go on a hunger strike to call attention to the situation. This seems hopeless, because of Homer's voracious appetite. He chains himself to a lawn chair and starts getting a lot of attention. Then management, seizing an opportunity, begins exploiting him until the truth finally comes out about the Albuquerque deal.
A new kid comes to Springfield Elementary and Lisa attempts to make friends with this new girl, but for all her trouble she just winds up the victim of this female version of Nelson. Lisa discovers the cause; pheromones given off by nerds are what attract bullies and she presents her findings where there needed most, the "12th Annual Big Science Thing". Meanwhile, after a visit from a baby safety consultant gets the Simpson home safe, Homer decides to go into the safety industry, making Springfield safe for all children.
Maggie eats a magazine and Marge takes her to the hospital, leaving Homer to do the food shopping. Homer abuses a bag boy, which leads to the bag boys going out on strike. With them on strike, the family does not go grocery shopping. When their food runs out, Homer searches the house for food and he finds 30 -year-old animal crackers. When he opens the box, he finds it contains a golden giraffe; the token, which indicates the recipient, has won an African safari. The manufacturer honors the prize and sends the Simpson family to Africa. Their tour of the African wilderness is very strange. A local tribe treats them to a concert. Later, when a hippo tries to attack Homer, the Simpson family escapes on a makeshift raft. They sail down river and end up having to fend for themselves in the wilderness. They come across a scientist who is researching monkeys. When poachers come to take the monkeys, the Simpson family helps him to fight back. Lisa soon discovers that the researcher actually runs a chimp diamond mine and the poachers are actually Greenpeace. The Simpsons fly back home.
Homer's thumb is cut off following breakfast and the episode follows three different paths. Homer's day: as he and Marge race to get his thumb reattached. Lisa's day: as she misses the bus and tries to get to school so that she can win the science fair, but finds herself at one point at West Springfield Elementary. Bart's day: as he and Milhouse make use of a stash of fireworks that Fat Tony has illegally smuggled into the country. In the end their respective paths come together.
When he can stop thinking of her and to help him stop living in the past, Ned gets the Simpson family to help remove all the reminders of Maude he has around the house. Only one item misses getting thrown into the chipper, a sketchbook that contains Maude's vision of a Christian amusement park called "Praiseland." Ned goes on a quest to build this amusement park, which, opens to lackluster reviews; describe as the "height of tedium". When suddenly a miracle occurs, as a Maude mask floats in front of the Maude statue. It is quickly discovered that anyone who stands in front of the statue has visions. Is it truly a miracle, or just the passing of gas?
The Simpsons go to see if they would like to take any of the classes at the YMCA. Homer tries out the basketball class but he tears the ACL in his knee. He can't go to work while he recovers from surgery. He is bored at home. He tries unsuccessfully to breed the dog and the cat to each other, and then Homer takes care of Rod and Todd one evening. When he finds that he is pretty good at it, he starts a daycare center. He still neglects Bart and Lisa, making them jealous. He becomes eligible for a Good Guy award for his service to the community. A film crew follows him as he does good deeds. Bart and Lisa devise a plan to show the world that he is a neglectful father. At the awards ceremony, they show home movies of him. When he ends up choking Bart, everyone is outraged. Homer flees the ceremony with the kids in a stolen car. The police catch him and later he apologizes to Bart and Lisa for his behavior.
The family wins a trip to Delaware, but Homer refuses to pay the tax on the ticket, so they ride the rails and meet a hobo who sings and tells them some tall tales. The first is the tale is about "Paul Bunyan" and here we are treated to Homer playing the role of Paul as a giant doofus, a natural role for him. The next tale shows us Lisa as "Connie Appleseed," who tries to convince the pioneers to eat apples instead of buffalo. The third tale isn't really tall, it's a Mark Twain tale about Tom Sawyer (Bart) and Huckleberry Finn (Nelson), whom go on the run when Huck won't marry Becky (Lisa).
a). "hex and the city" The family sees a gypsy, but Homer's usual ineptitude causes the gypsy to seek her revenge by cursing him and his loved ones. In an effort to get the curse lifted, Homer catches a leprechaun and releases it upon the gypsy with surprising results. b). "House of Whacks" The family home obtains an upgrade, the Ultrahouse 3000, a computer that will do everything for them. Everything is going great until the house falls in love with Marge and tries killing Homer. c). "Wiz Kids" Bart and Lisa are attending wizard school. The evil Lord Montymort and Slithers have designs on capturing Lisa, so that Montymort can take her essence. They use Bart's rivalry with his sister as the means to get at her.
Abandoned by a prize seeking Homer, Milhouse and Bart go for an unintentional joyride in Chief Wiggum's squad car. In juvenile court, Milhouse gets his case dismissed; however, when Bart goes up before Judge Snyder he is just about to get out of it, when the judge's vacation starts. The replacement judge isn't a pushover and citing Homer's negligence she orders that Bart and Homer be tethered together. The pair attends school, work and Moe's together and begin bonding. Frustrated by the whole situation Marge cuts the tether and is caught. Judge Harm decides that both Bart's parents are unfit, so she has Homer and Marge put into stocks and put on public display. Homer and Marge break free and retaliate, only to get caught. When brought before Judge Harm they are about to have the book thrown at them, when Judge Snyder returns from vacation and declares that boys will be boys and dismisses the case.
We begin with Bart digging a hole in the backyard, which turns into Homer telling a story at Moe's. Moe himself is feeling depressed, he misses his bartending school alma mater, Swigmore University. The guys talk him into going back and Moe leaves Homer in charge of the bar. Back at school Moe meets one of his old professors, who recommend that he reinvent his "crap-hole". Upon his return, the reinvention begins. Now called "M" it becomes an exclusive and Duff-less nightclub. Feeling like outcasts, Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney set up "a hunting club" in Homer's garage, where there's plenty of Duff and a live band, REM. Moe decides he does not like his new bar and tries to join up with them again. Homer goes turkey hunting and shoots Moe (thinking he is a cougar), renewing their friendship. In the end, the Simpson family, Moe, and REM all celebrate Thanksgiving together.
Homer's foray into the fortune writing business leads to a romance for Mr. Burns. Then Burns seeks advice from Homer when he starts to romance, Gloria his new found love. Things look good for Monty who proposes marriage, just as Gloria's ex arrives on the scene, Snake, who's just recently escaped from prison. He grabs Gloria and Homer and takes them hostage, leaving Monty and the police to affect their rescue.
Marge falls for the image of the man on the package Burly paper towels. Homer and Bart scam Marge by making her think that Chad Sexington, the burly paper towel model, is coming to dinner. Who shows up in place of Chad? A shirtless Barney. To make up for her humiliation, Homer takes her and the family out to dinner and a show. A featured performer on the bill is Mesmerino and Homer offers himself up for hypnosis. When Homer reverts to himself at 12 years old, it triggers something within that causes him to start screaming incessantly. With the use of some Indian Memory Tea, Homer and Moe, recall when they were twelve and Homer found a dead body, which he never reported. The family journeys to the old quarry to find the body; which they do, with help from Chief Wiggum and Burly paper towels. They follow the drainage pipe back to its source, The pipe leads back to Burns' office at the plant. He disposed of a corpse thirty years earlier. It was the corpse of Wayland Smithers... senior. He shows an old film to prove the death was accidental. Homer and Marge journey home, with Homer feeling satisfied. Moe visits them and tells about how he cracked the case.
The family is going through problems. A social worker sets out to fix them after a domestic violence charge. He is horrified at Homer when the vegas wives of Homer and Ned unexpectedly come to Springfield. Fed up with vegas, they want to replace Marge and Maude. Ned's new wife stays with him, but his dorky children drive her crazy. Homer tries unsuccessfully to get an annulment. Homer's vegas wife gets him kicked out of the house. Marge begins to feel sorry for Homer, so she devises a plan to get rid of his vegas wife. Homer gets her drunk and marries her to Abe. She is so distraught over being Mrs. Abraham Simpson that she and Ned's vegas wife flee, running down evergreen terrace. Senile as ever, grandpa forgets being married immediately.
The family goes to the library's used book sale; where Homer obtains a copy of Duff's Book of World Records. When he's gone through all the records, he decides to set one of his own. Duff tells him that all the personal records have been set. He needs to help set a group record. The town tries to set a record for the world's tallest human pyramid; but when they fail, they inadvertently set the record as the world's fattest town, which they celebrate. Only Marge has a problem with this. She goes to the Motherloving Sugar Company to lodge her complaint. The owner Garth Motherloving is less than cooperative, so Marge files a class action lawsuit. Professor Frink blows the whistle on "big sugar" and the court rules in Marge's favor and then bans all sugar from Springfield forever. All the town's sugar products are burned and Apu's store shelves are empty. Apu brings Homer into a group determined to smuggle sugar back into Springfield. Homer and Bart join with Apu, Mr. Burns, Count Fudgula and Garth Mothelovering in a scheme to smuggle in sugar from the island of San Glucose. They make it into Springfield Harbor, but are intercepted by the police. Evading Wiggum and Co., Homer finds himself faced with the decision to either "Dump Cargo" to make Marge happy or "Obey Bad Guy" and bring sugar to Springfield. He chooses the former, but Judge Snyder realizes that he's overstepped his authority and makes sugar legal once again.
The family watches the gay pride parade and then goes to the movies. Homer loudly protests the fact that the movie hasn't started, due to the length of ads and previews. When the ushers chase him out of the theatre, Homer runs straight into the glove of a statue of fighter, Drederick Tatum, and breaks his jaw. With his mouth wired shut and nothing else to do, Homer becomes a great listener and even a respectable member of society, which delights Marge. After his jaw has healed, Homer continues to be everything he never was before. On Afternoon YAK he promises to not revive his "weckless, weckless ways". Weeks later Marge realizes that their life has become dull, so she enters the family car in a demolition derby and soon finds herself in trouble. In a sequence reminiscent of the "Popeye" cartoons, Homer sucks down a can of Duff and comes to her rescue.
Homer's incessant snoring is keeping Marge awake and the cost for surgery to correct the problem is costly. She moves in with Patty and Selma to get some sleep. The news reports that Marge's former boyfriend, Artie Ziff, is the 5th richest man in America. Patty and Selma convince Marge that she should contact Artie, so they send an e-mail on her behalf. Artie receives the e-mail and reveals his 20-year obsession with Marge. Artie Ziff flies to the Simpson home and takes them for a ride. He then makes an indecent proposal, $1 million for Marge to spend a weekend with him, so they she might find out what life would have been like with him. After another sleepless night, Marge gives it serious thought, after all the money would allow them to pay for Homer's much needed nasal surgery. Marge goes off with Artie and Homer has second thoughts. Artie recreates their senior prom and tries to kiss Marge. Marge leaves Artie and returns to home find out that Homer has left town with Lenny. On the road, Homer and Lenny get a job at oil rig in West Springfield, which is "three times larger than Texas". Bart, Lisa and Marge figure out where Homer's at, but Marge needs help from Artie to find out exactly where he is. With his oil rig on fire, Homer declines rescue, until Artie gives up on Marge. Artie creates a solution for Homer's snoring problem, which at a subliminal level may help Artie with his Marge problem.
After giving up the Olympic torch that Homer has stolen, the family stops in at a carnival being held at a private school. Bart comes to the aid of a young girl being bullied. The girl is the daughter of Rainier Wolfcastle and she invites Bart to come to her house sometime. Bart goes to Greta's home and has a great time. The Wolfcastles come to the Simpson home and Greta expresses her interest in Bart, although he is a little slow on the uptake. On Bart's next visit he brings Milhouse. Greta invites Bart to her school dance, only Bart finds out that Skinner is going to be performing stand-up comedy and he can't resist. Skinner's act bombs, much to Bart's delight. Working with the theory that "women are easy, state capitals are hard", Bart breaks up with Greta. For revenge Greta starts hanging out with Milhouse. She then joins her dad for a film shoot in Toronto. Bart asks the family if they can go to Toronto. At Paramountie Studios Bart finds Greta only to find out that she interested in either Bart or Milhouse, so they both join the Canadian Olympic Basketball team. Back in Springfield, Skinner's act still sucks.
Bart has a day that gets better and better, until it starts really sucking when a crazy dog that hates him for no known reason starts stalking him. Bart is chased by the dog and he escapes from the dog by climbing a fence into the yard of Buck McCoy, a former star of western films. Bart learns more about Buck's history and back at home when Bart mentions that Buck is about the greatest guy who ever lived, Homer gets jealous. Buck comes to the Simpson's home for dinner and Bart brings the western look to Springfield Elementary. Bart and Lisa get Buck to appear on "The Krusty the Clown Show", but Buck hasn't appeared on live television in years; so to calm his nerves, he starts drinking. A drunken Buck shoots up the Krusty the Clown set, and Krusty himself. As a result Bart has lost his new hero and Homer who should feel happy about it isn't. So he and Marge go to Buck's to try sobering him up. When Snake and his gang are robbing Springfield's National Bank, Homer suggests that Buck stop the robbery to help restore his son's faith in the old cowboy. A couple of twirls of Buck's lariat soon put an end to the robbery.
Homer is anxiously awaiting the start of the new XFL season when the Springfield Retirement Castle calls to report the death of Abraham Simpson, but the report is a mistake. A new woman moves in down the hall and Grandpa decides that he wants to be able to drive a car again, one so that he can feel alive again and two so that he can impress the new woman, Zelda. With his new license in hand, Grandpa borrows Homer's car for a series of dates with Zelda. In a role reversal, Homer has to lay down the law when Abe stays out with the car all night. Abe runs into trouble at the Kwik-E-Mart with a rival gang of retirees that results in him competing in a death race. Abe wins the race, but Homer's car is ruined. Homer revokes Abe driving privileges. Zelda has a reservation in Branson and she goes with Abe's rival. Abe steals Marge's car and goes with Bart to Branson to get her back. When they get there Abe actually just gets back at her and calls her the "hootchie" everybody said she was.
Homer gets a letter from the library telling him about an overdue book. He checked it out when Bart was born to have something to read his child. Lisa suggests that he read them some stories from it now. Homer starts by telling the tale of the… a). "Odyssey" Homer is Odysseus, who delivers a Trojan horse to the King. After his troops are victorious, Odysseus ticks off the gods by refusing to make a sacrifice. They take their revenge upon him when they blow him and his crew off course, where they almost meet the Sirens and finally Circe, who turns his men into pigs. After Odysseus eats his men, he has to cross the river Styx to return home. When he arrives he takes out the trash. b). "Joan of Arc" Lisa is Joan in this retelling of the story of Joan of Arc. Joan sets out to help lead the French army to victory against the English, which she does, until she is captured. Joan is found guilty and is about to be burned at the stake, when Marge, not much for tragic endings, changes the ending so that Joan lives. c). "Hamlet" Bart is Hamlet and Homer asks him to avenge his death. Moe (as Uncle Claudius) had Homer killed so that he could marry the queen (Marge) and take over the kingdom. Hamlet discovers the king's treachery and goes to avenge his father's death. When he kills the wrong man, he must duel with Laertes (Ralph). When Laertes dispatches himself, Hamlet kills Uncle Claudius, then himself. Rather than clean up the mess, the queen also dispatches herself. Everyone is dead. Bart can't believe how boring the last story was, but Homer reminds him that is also became a great movie called "Ghostbusters." The family dances as the theme to that classic film plays in the background.
The family receives a $400 phone bill for a phone call to Brazil. Marge and Homer go down to the phone office to get this error corrected, they didn't make the call. Their visit results in their phone service getting cut off. Homer tries to steal phone service, but gets electrocuted for his trouble. Lisa confesses to making the call and tells them of the donations she'd made for an orphan boy named Renaldo in Brazil, with whom she'd lost contact with. The family decides to make a trip to Brazil to find him. The family flies down to Rio, as Maggie takes care of herself, under the watchful eyes of Patty and Selma. They split up with Lisa and Marge looking on one side of town and Homer and Bart on the other. Homer gets kidnapped when he gets into an unlicensed taxi. The kidnappers take Homer up the Amazon. Marge reports the kidnapping to an uncaring police department and Homer tries to raise the $50,000 on his own. Lisa finds Renaldo working for the kids show that Bart has watched with great sexual interest since arriving in Rio. Renaldo is now wealthy, thanks to the new dancing shoes Lisa's donation purchased for him, so he gives Lisa the $50,000 that will let them get Homer from the kidnappers. The transfer is made and Homer is returned, but as we leave our friends in Rio, Bart is celebrating Carnival in the belly of a snake.
Marge plants her own garden and when the crows arrive she puts up a scarecrow. Homer himself is scared by the scarecrow, so he sneaks upon it and destroys it. As a result, the crows look up to him as their leader. The crows hang out with him wherever he goes. The crows eventually overstay their welcome and Homer tries to shoo them away, the respond by attacking him. At the hospital, when Homer asks Dr. Hibbert what can be done for the pain in his eyes Dr. Hibbert prescribes medical marijuana. Homer starts getting legally high. At one point, in his high state of mind, Homer allows Flanders to read the entire bible to him. Flanders is also gets Homer's signature on a petition to get a ban on medical marijuana added to the next election's ballot. Being high at work also does a wonder for his career at the power plant, because when Homer laughs at all of Mr. Burn's jokes he is given a promotion to executive vice-president. Homer finds out about the ban being added to the ballot and a rally is organized in protest. The band Phish appears at the rally, but the attendees "have spaced on the date", they held their rally one day after the election; so medical marijuana has been banned. The medical marijuana is burned. Homer's medical condition was long since cured, Homer promises to never to smoke pot again. Mr. Burns calls Homer into help with his speech. Mr. Burns need to raise $60 million to appease his investors. Homer tries, but Smithers needs the use of Homer's last joint to think any of Mr. Burn's speech is funny. When Mr. Burns appears to dead from drowning in his bathtub, Smithers and Homer turn him into a marionette so that he can still appear before the investors. A dance performance by the strung up Mr. Burns gets his heart started again and he has recovered well enough to learn that the investors were distracted enough to not worry about the $60 million.
Our story begins a la "Forrest Gump", with Homer sitting on a park bench waiting for the rest of the family to arrive. While Chief Wiggum initially tells him isn't interested in hearing Homer's life story initially, he becomes intrigued as Homer goes right into it, in the form of flashbacks (clips). Homer is picked up and brought blindfolded to the Springfield Friar's Club where emcee Krusty the Klown and other friends and family roast Homer with their memories (more clips from past episodes). Bart and Lisa start followed by Mr. Burns, Grampa Simpson they cite him as "the fat selfish epitome of modern man". They probe him revealing more clips, which helps prove to them that humans are unfit to continue existing. Lisa talks them into probing the innocent mind of a child. The probing of Maggie's mind reveals to Kodos and Kang the most important thing of all for them; Earth is where there favorite celebrities live. Kodos and Kang attend the "People Choice Awards" and the episode ends with a wacky little ditty celebrating more clips, but telling the viewers "not to fear, they have stories for years."
Springfield Elementary finally gets a career day speaker that keeps the children's interest. The creator of cartoon inspires the children to come up with their own cartoon characters. Bart makes an initial comic strip of "Danger Dude," which he shows to the Comic Book Guy and Marvel Comics creator Stan Lee who happens to stop by the comic book shop, but never leaves. Their feedback leads Bart to search for other inspiration, which he finds in his own father. He makes Homer the main character in a comic that he calls "Angry Dad". It becomes very popular and an Internet company wants to make "Angry Dad" an Internet cartoon. They offer Bart stock in return for use of his strip. "Angry Dad" becomes even more popular, but when Homer sees it at work, he goes home very angry. The citizens of Springfield, who see him in his car angry, try to make him angrier to see what he'll do. The family realizes that Homer has anger management issues. Homer resolves to take it easy, leaving Bart without any material. Bart sets an elaborate trap to anger the now sedate Homer. Bart finds out that the Internet company has gone bankrupt and doesn't need his new material, just as Homer takes the bait for the trap. Homer gets green with anger, a la The Incredible Hulk and it turns out Bart has saved Homer's life; since the pent up rage would have killed him.
My goodness how the octuplets have grown! As we see when Manjula has brought the children to Kwik-E-Mart. After the children have left, Apu believes that the Squishee delivery lady has made a pass at him, by calling him handsome. The Simpson family is participating in the Civil War reenactment. Homer gets Barney (playing General Grant) to drink a mug of beer. The reenactment is "ripe with inaccuracies." Homer goes back to the Kwik-E-Mart and discovers Apu making out with the Squishee lady, he back out of the store all the way home and into bed. He has nightmares about the encounter and tells Marge guesses at what he's seen. They both have difficulty facing Apu and Manjula together. They confront Apu and soon Manjula finds out. She throws him out. Marge and Homer concoct a plan to bring Manjula and Apu back together. Apu asks for forgiveness, but gets divorce papers instead. Apu is about to end it all, when Manjula is willing to take him, provided he meets with her list of demands.
Lisa is failing gym. So that she won't fail and lose the Springfield Elementary the only accreditation they have, Principal Skinner gets Lisa a private coach. After seeing a vision of President Kennedy, Lisa is inspired to give gymnastics her best shot. While Bart is spending time with Grandpa he gets bitten by a Chinese mosquito. Lisa finds out that her fellow gymnastics students are actually college age, and rather than be embarrassed by her real age, she lets them think she is college age as well. Bart is diagnosed with "Panda virus" which makes him contagious, so Dr. Hibbert puts him in a plastic bubble for a week. Meanwhile Lisa has started hanging out with college age students at a coffee house listening to Robert Pinsky read his poetry. Bart starts using his plastic bubble to rescue nerds from the bullies. Some of those nerds follow Lisa when they think she is up to something. They find her at college analyzing "Itchy and Scratchy" cartoons and Milhouse exposes her. Embarrassed she leaves and back at home, she gets in trouble for going to college (16 credit hours worth) and her fellow grade school students won't relate with her anymore. She gets advice from Bart on how to win them back, which she does by making a splash on the cake created for Seymour Skinner Day.
Homer's ordered Marge an anniversary gift, a pond for the backyard. The new pond attracts a screaming caterpillar. The "screamapillar" as the family finds out is an endangered species and by law they are responsible for its well being. When Homer believes he has killed the insect he tries to hide that fact. The "screamapillar" is okay, but Homer is found guilty of "attempted insecticide" and "aggravated buggery" and is sentenced to 200 hours of community service. Homer begins delivering "Meals on Wheels" and runs scared into the closet when one of his elderly clients appears to be threatening him with an axe. It turns out she is just a kindly old woman, who asks Homer to join him for some company. He starts lending her a hand, and she seems to be taking advantage of him. Marge goes to see her and then finds herself helping the old woman as much as Homer has been. When the old woman turns up dead; Homer and Marge are considered top suspects, when they are named beneficiaries of the woman's will. They suspect the "man with braces," who they saw leaving the scene. Everyone suspects them. When the woman's diamond necklace is found in their home, they are arrested. The children are sent to a yokel foster home and Marge and Homer are found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. When Homer realizes that Marge is going to miss the children, he confesses to the crime, which allows for her release. On the electric chair Homer is about to be electrocuted when it is revealed he is a participant on a new reality game show "Frame Up". The man with the braces is the host, and Homer's murder victim is actually still alive. The old woman is actually Carmen Electra in disguise. Homer is freed, but disgusted that people's lives are toyed with for TV ratings; this he says while looking Carmen Electra directly in the breasts.
Springfield is in the midst of a heat wave. The nuclear plant is at capacity and when one of its crack employees, Homer Simpson, plugs in just one appliance too many, the city has a blackout. Looting begins and the police are ineffective. In an attempt to try doing something right for a change, Homer starts his own security company to help keep order. Chief Wiggum finds himself without a job, when Mayor Quimby decides that "Spring Shield" security should become the city's new police force. Homer shuts down one of Fat Tony's operations and with that crime is non-existent. Fat Tony makes a public announcement that he is going to gun down Homer if he isn't out of town by tomorrow at noon. Homer appeals for help, only no one of importance offers to help. The following day, Fat Tony and New Jersey associates a la The Sopranos go to the Simpson home. Shots ring out, effectively wounding Fat Tony and friends. Homer decides to give his badge to the next person he sees, which happens to be Clancy Wiggum. He comments that's the way he got the job in the past, he also disavows any knowledge of the shots; but we know who the shooter is, it's Maggie Simpson.
The family (along with Ned Flanders) holds a séance which brings the ghost of Maude Flanders back from the grave. With her presence in the room, she opens a book which brings us these three tales. a). "Send in the Clones" Homer finds that his new hammock is capable of making clones, and he begins making and using the clones to do all of his chores. When one of the clones permanently takes care of Flanders, Homer decides to get rid of the clones and the hammock. So he takes them both out to cornfield where he leaves them. Only the clones begin using the hammock and start to proliferate themselves at an enormous rate, soon the town of Springfield is under invasion by an army of Homer clones. It's up to Lisa to give the army a suggestion that help them eliminate the clone problem. b). "The Right to Keep and Scare Harms" Lisa finds the grave of William Bonney who was killed by gun violence. In his memory, she starts a gun control crusade, which makes Springfield totally gun-free; even the police no longer have guns. Now defenseless, the corpse of William "Billy the Kid" Bonney and his cohorts rise from the dead and start raising havoc in town. Professor Frink develops a time machine, which Homer uses to go back to the recent past to stop the ban on guns. c). "The Island of Dr. Hibbert" The family takes a trip to "The Island of Lost Souls," where they find Dr. Hibbert is running the island's resort. Marge thinks that something creepy is going on there, but when she goes off to investigate she is captured by Dr. Hibbert who turns her into a cat woman. Homer goes in search of a cure for Marge's condition and encounters Ned Flanders (who needs to be milked). Flanders takes Homer to meet the others who've been converted into beasts. While initially horrified at what they've all become, after thinking about it, he decides it might just be the life for him.
When Homer can't pay for his beer, he finds alternate means for altering his consciousness. When he finally is given a beer, it puts him over the edge and into a cab home. His cab ride home is videotaped (a la HBO's Taxi Cab Confessions) and his family sees him complaining about them, the family got in the way of his dream to be a rock star. To help him get over these feelings, they send him to The Rolling Stones' Rock N' Roll Fantasy Camp. Homer, Barney, Apu and others learn how to be a rock star from the likes of Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Elvis Costello, Lenny Kravitz, Brian Setzer, and Tom Petty. When his dream week is over, Homer is totally despondent; his rock star dream has been shattered. Mick offers him the opportunity to help them out with their upcoming benefit gig. Everyone (including Homer) thinks he is going to play on stage with the stars; the rock stars of course just want him to be their roadie. When he starts testing the microphones, he starts to steal the show, the rock stars fight back and a riot breaks out.
Tired of "suckling on the six network teat," with their endless array of "reality shows," the Simpson family gets a satellite dish. Homer and Bart spend hours surfing all of the available channels. While Lisa studies for the school's upcoming achievement test; Bart doesn't, as he engrossed in Japanese Friends amongst and other lame satellite TV programming. Bart zones out during the test and daydreams about everything he's been watching lately. At a school assembly the next day, Principal Skinner announces that because of Lisa's high test score, she is being promoted to the 3rd grade. When Bart makes a comment about Lisa, Principal Skinner responds by also announcing that because of his low test score, Bart is being demoted to the 3rd grade. They'll be in class together, much to each other's horror. Lisa has a hard time adapting to the 3rd grade, as Bart is coming off as a much better student than he actually is. They go on a field trip to Capital City and Bart and Lisa are put together via the buddy system. Their teacher, Mrs. McConnell, decides that the students are going to help the state design a new flag. When Bart overhears Lisa breaking bad on him, he redesigns their entry. Lisa's anger with Bart causes them to fight and miss their bus back home. Bart and Lisa attempt to get home on their own, meanwhile Principal Skinner reports their disappearance to Homer and Marge, who subsequently journey to Capital City to try to find them. Bart and Lisa encounter a family of mountain folk, who take them back to the big city to reunite them with their family. Realizing that the "status quo" is best all-around, Principal Skinner returns Bart and Lisa's academic careers to normal.
Marge sees Homer flirting with two women and later tries to decide whether he is still interested in her or not. Homer's response is to fall asleep. Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse are watching Krusty playing the villain "Clownface" on an episode of the old Batman television series and are inspired to recreate the carousel sequence. Marge asks Manjula what she should do about Homer and Manjula responds by taking her to a plastic surgery clinic. Marge goes in for a liposuction procedure and winds up with breast implants. The doctor gives her 48 hours to try living with them before he will take them out. At school, Bart gets Milhouse spun at a high speed on the carousel; so fast that he spins out of control, resulting in his knocking over the flagpole and throwing up on the flag. When confronted for his part in this act of unpatriotic behavior, Bart cites Krusty as the influence; making Krusty a very unpopular figure. Homer discovers her implants and at dinner the next night, Homer and the men of Springfield sing the praises of her new endowment. Marge gets offered a trade show modeling job. Marge gets into her new image until the extra weight up front of starts giving her back problems. At the trade show, Bart's old friend Stampy and Marge's gifts are used to help Krusty get his reputation back. Afterwards surgery is preformed to reverse Marge's condition and the Baha Men sings the praises of her Jugs with a little help from Homer.
When Homer is injured at work, his compensation is use of a luxury sky box. The family enjoys the luxuries, but Lisa is bored and joins the masses rink side. She gives one of the players some score tying advice and is rewarded with Kozlov's hockey "tree". The stick is mounted in Lisa's room where later that night termites break out of the stick and do much damage to the family home. Until the Russian no-wood-nick termites can be thoroughly exterminated, 6 months from now, the Simpson family is homeless. The family tries a number of options but settle upon trying out for a home where they are required to live like its 1895. They pass the audition and start living the lifestyle. When the "1895 Challenge" sinks in the ratings, the producers try to stir things up by adding Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley. When even that doesn't work, they relocate the house to a river and watch it float downstream. Eventually the house comes to shore and falls apart. Now the family finds themselves without food and shelter as the TV crew eats away. The encounter and tribe of refugees from another reality program and together they fight to return to civilization, where they can find quality scripted television. When even that fails them, they start to entertain themselves.
The family receives an invitation to go to a health spa. While there Homer is alone in the steam room, when some unknown person locks him inside and turns the heat up to the "MURDER" setting. Homer and Marge go to see Chief Wiggum for help in finding Homer's attempted murderer. Chief Wiggum decides to call in an expert on the twisted mind of a murderer. He takes the Simpson family to Campbell's Chunky Soup Maximum Security Prison to consult with Sideshow Bob. Chief Wiggum strikes a deal Sideshow Bob that will allow him to stay with the Simpson family, which makes Bart nervous. A device is hooked to Sideshow Bob that will allow the family to shock him if he gets out of control. Sideshow Bob follows Homer through a "normal" day. Sideshow Bob sets up a Homer dummy as a trap for Homer's potential killer. Everyone, including Homer beats the dummy up. At Moe's someone takes a shot at Homer. Sideshow Bob recommends that Homer stay out of sight, which isn't going to happen when Homer is elected King of Mardi Gras. At the parade Homer's float becomes a runaway when its brake line is cut. Sideshow Bob launches himself out of cannon and saves Homer from certain death. Then Homer and Sideshow Bob go after and corner the potential killer, Frank Grimes Jr. Later that evening in Bart's bedroom, Sideshow Bob appears and he tries to kill Bart quickly, but finds he can't do it, as he's "grown accustomed to Bart's face."
Edna looks forward to the apple picking trip she is going to take Seymour, only he has to cancel because he needs to take care of his mother. Meanwhile, Bart looks for ways to keep from working on his research paper for WWI, including photocopying his butt and joyriding in a Blackhawk helicopter. The day before it's due, he uses Grampa as a resource. Bart receives F for his effort he works on a revised version of the paper after school. When Bart sees how sad Principal Skinner has made Ms. Krabappel when he cancels a date with her in favor of his mother, Bart goes out with her for the evening. At Lisa's suggestion, Bart decides to do more for his teacher, he nominates for the "Teacher of the Year" award. Knowing who she has to put with, the award committee selects Ms. Krabappel as their nominee. The award finals are held in Orlando, Florida at "Efcot Center." As the nominator, Bart (and his family) gets to go to award ceremony as well. Who isn't going, Seymour Skinner of course, that is until he changes mind. Of course, he has to bring mother along. At the award ceremony, Seymour is worried that he will lose Edna forever. He gets Bart to sabotage her chances at winning, but when it comes down to it he can't let Bart go through with it. Edna doesn't win the award, but she does get a marriage proposal from Seymour, with an engagement ring from Little Richard.
Homer fails to get the birthday present that Lisa wanted. The gift he gets her instead makes it obvious that he knows nothing about his daughter and that makes her disappointed in him. To win Lisa back, Homer hires a private detective to find out everything about her. The private detective comes through with information that restores Homer's relationship with Lisa. Homer refuses to pay the detective's $1000 expenses; to get even the detective arranges it so that Lisa is framed for a crime she didn't commit. When the police arrive outside the Simpson home, Homer takes Lisa on the run. While they are holed up in a cabin, Homer confesses what he did to learn more about Lisa. The police trace them there and Homer and Lisa's subsequent escape leads them to a circus, where they find evidence that will exonerate Lisa of the crime. Only first together they must deal with the crooked detective.
Marge gets mugged outside the Kwik-E-Mart and she starts feeling vulnerable and becomes scared to leave the house. Dr. Hibbert diagnoses her with agoraphobia. The family tries to help her get back out of the house, but their efforts drive into living in the basement. In the basement she finds their unused weight set and she begins working out. Two weeks later she is stronger than she ever was and realizes that she can leave the house. In fact while celebrating her release from her fears, she confronts and beats the crap out of her mugger. While out working out, Marge runs into Ruth Powers, the neighbor she once went on the lam with. Ruth tells her about how steroids can help her to get bigger. Marge starts taking the supplements and gets into a women's bodybuilding competition. She takes 2nd place, which only entices her to do better next time. At Moe's she tears the place apart when she suffers from steroid rage. Homer makes her realize that she has become everything that she can't stand and she destroys the weight set.
When Flanders wins a half-time money shot during a WNBA game, Homer asks him what the secret to his good fortune is. Ned reveals his secret as hard work, honest living and flossing his teeth, tail and toes. Also a little prayer now and again doesn't hurt either. Homer focuses on the notion of the little prayer and when he needs to find the remote for his TV, his own little prayer works. He begins to pray for a number of things. His prayer for a new home pays off when he trips into a hole outside of the church. His lawsuit against the church wins him the deed to the church, since the church can't afford to pay him $1 million. Homer turns the church into a party palace. Without a place to preach, Reverend Lovejoy and his wife leave Springfield, when preaching at the bowling alley and staying at Ned's house just doesn't work for the Reverend. The partying at the church gets out of hand; Marge asks Homer if he is afraid of incurring God's wrath. Homer isn't so sure, but then the rainfall begins and Homer is struck by lightning. Soon Springfield has started flooding. When an unruly mob starts to come after Homer, Reverend Lovejoy arrives on the scene asking for forgiveness on behalf of the town.
Lisa dreams of being honored as one of three great Americans, only to be waken by Marge's vacuum. Marge and the rest of the family have begun spring cleaning. Bart finds a box of old videotapes. He and Lisa start watching the tapes that are boring them, until Lisa finds a tape labeled "BART SAD." They put in the tape, which features an episode of Perfect Strangers and a commercial for a product that fights bad breath for babies. The baby featured in the ad is none other than Bart, leading Lisa to realize the tape should have been titled "Bart's Ad." The baby in the ad is referred to as "Baby Stinkbreath," which opens Bart up to name calling by his siblings. Bart confronts his parents about the ad and Homer tells him he was going to tell him on his "death bed." They tell him he enjoyed making the commercials and he made a lot of money that Homer invested in a college trust fund. Homer confesses that he used the money to buy back incriminating photos. Bart demands the return of his money; Milhouse suggests that he get a lawyer. He finds a lawyer and tells him he wants a divorce from his parents. In court, Judge Harm renders her verdict, Bart is emancipated and half Homer's salary is to go to Bart. Bart moves out and into a loft apartment. His first night alone he is scared by a rat and runs to the elevator that takes him up instead of down. The doors open to a loft apartment that contains skateboard ramps, "skate boarding legend Tony Hawk" and the band "blink - 182" playing live in the corner. The family comes to visit Bart at his new home, where Bart appears to be living the good life. Homer makes a plea for his return, but Bart tells them he is taking off for six months to go on the "Skewed Extreme Sports Tour." At the Springfield stop of the tour, Homer talks Tony Hawk into losing to him in a skateboarding contest so that Homer might win back Bart's affection. When wins the contest, Bart informs him it was about being cool, it was really about Homer not caring about how he felt. With a bit of advice from Tony Hawk, Homer makes an apology and gets a lucrative commercial endorsement for "Viagra-Gain" which allows him to repay Bart, who returns home.
The kids are getting ready to go back to school. On the first day, Principal Skinner holds an all school Spelling Bee, which Lisa easily wins, allowing her to go to the state spelling finals. If she wins there, she can then go Spellympics. Meanwhile, Homer has been trying Krustyburger's new "Ribwich" and enjoying it immensely. At the state Spelling Bee Lisa wins, but is disappointed with Homer who tells her that "very serious Daddy business" is going to keep him away from her celebration. Homer's daddy business consists of getting more Ribwiches. He is disappointed when the Ribwich is no longer available. Another Ribwich fan (and member of Ribwich Nation) informs Homer that the sandwich is going to be tested in other markets and he shows him the tour schedule. For a moment, Homer considers joining them on their bus tour. For her spelling efforts, Lisa is rewarded with a double-wide locker and she prepares for the Spellympics. At the Spellympics, Lisa makes it to the finals. Homer regrets that he won't be able to attend the finals, as he will be in San Francisco for the last day of the Ribwich. George Plimpton talks to Lisa about getting her to throw the spelling bee so that a more popular competitor can help keep spelling a viable sport. For throwing the bee, Lisa is offered a full scholarship to one of the seven sister's college of her choice. Lisa wrestles with her conscience. In San Francisco, Krusty stops by and tells the crowd they will no longer be making the Ribwich and he tosses them the last one. Homer catches it, and offers are made to him for the last one. He realizes that he's forsaken his daughter's big day for a sandwich and he trades it for a car, which he drives off to Lisa's big event. At the Spellympics, Homer arrives just in time for Lisa to do her final word. With her dad present, she blows the lid off of the rigged contest, but then misspells her word in the process. She loses the contest, but back home in Springfield she is celebrated as "the biggest winner this town has ever had." They even have her likeness carved into the side of a mountain.
On St. Valentine's Day Marge is too tired in participating in the lovemaking that Homer was so looking forward to. Dejected, Homer leaves the house and stumbles across a billboard for some extension courses. When he is thrown out of the "Strip for Your Wife" class led by Dr. Hibbert, he stumbles into "Successmanship 101" class. He gets the book for the class and with it he decides to change the direction of his life. Homer goes into work with a new attitude, but when he presents his ideas for improvements to Mr. Burns, they are all rejected unread. Later when Homer overhears that Mr. Burns actually has a canary named as the plant's legal owner. With this information and some encouragement from his family Homer decides upon a plan. With Bart's help, Homer releases the bird, which leaves the plant with no owner. In rare sign of intelligence, Homer outwits Mr. Burns and is able to take over the vacancy left by the canary. His first act in his new job is to fire Mr. Burns. Now Homer is in charge of the power plant and besides learning about the "door shutting thing" he soon learns how difficult it is to be at the top. He misses out on quality time with his family. Mr. Burns returns for a visit and shows Homer the people he missed out on being with throughout his life, Mr. Burns then tries to kill Homer by drugging him and sealing him in a tomb. He isn't fast enough as Homer recovers and easily escapes. As a wrap up to his latest escapade Homer (and everyone) celebrate "HOMER'S 305th EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL BBQ."
Principal Skinner introduces the students of Springfield Elementary to Declan Desmond, a documentary filmmaker. Desmond is there to do a documentary on the school. The children see an example of his work in the form of his documentary on Krusty Burger called "Do You Want Lies With That?" He starts filming his documentary by focusing on school bullies. Bart is being featured on camera for his role as a school bully, when he is humiliated by Nelson, the bigger bully. Principal Skinner tries to divert Desmond's attention by focusing on Lisa. Desmond easily spots the ruse and gives Lisa some advice that she should pick a path and follow it. Bart searches for a way to become cool again. When Nelson shows off a hood ornament he's stolen, Bart decides he needs to do the same, only bigger. Lisa looks for career direction and finds inspiration at an astronomy exhibit. Lisa gets Homer to buy her a telescope, only she soon discovers that light pollution from the town obscures her view. Bart tries to regain his position, as Desmond watches. He then finds Lisa is circulating a petition to reduce Springfield's light pollution. It works and lights are put down, yes the stars have come out, but so have the criminals. Nelson and company steal more hood ornaments. Bart targets the ornate (Emmy award looking) hood ornament of Fat Tony's car. Mayor Quimby caves into pressure from the townspeople and restores the lights of Springfield, to the point where it's daytime at night. Bart and Milhouse were almost able to steal Fat Tony's hood ornament, when the lights go on. 24 hours of "daylight" begin to take their toll on the townspeople. Bart is still scoping out Fat Tony's hood ornament, he only needs the cover of darkness to pull of his crime. Since he and Lisa want the same thing, they team up to get Homer to go into power plant and overload the city's lights. Springfield is back in the dark when the townspeople come to protest the lack of lights. Fortunately for Bart and Lisa a meteor shower begins and that distracts everyone. In the end, Declan Desmond's documentary "American Boneheads: A Day in the Life of Springfield Elementary" is shown.
It's Christmastime and the family is out caroling. When they carol outside of a lawyer's house, he informs them they can't sing the song they're singing without paying a royalty. This inspires Homer to decide to write his own Christmas carol, but when Flanders tries to help and begins annoying him, Homer is instead inspired to write an anti-Flanders song. Homer plays his new song at Moe's where a passing David Byrne overhears it and offers to produce and record it. The song "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders" becomes a national hit and is even covered by William Shatner. To get away from the over-exposure of the hit song, the family decides to take a vacation to a dude ranch. At the Lazy I ranch, Comic Book Guy looks for an Internet connection and Lisa is annoyed to find out that the ranch was built on cruelty to animals and oppression of indigenous people. Lisa wants to go home, until sometime later when she meets Luke Stetson, a junior wrangler who shares her views. Homer and Bart meet some indigenous people who tell them that they've lost their land to a natural beaver dam. Homer gets them to agree to build a fair casino, if he helps them get back their land. Lisa overhears that Luke already has a girlfriend named Clara and her heart is broken. Lisa encounters Clara and gives her false directions to the dance. Homer and Bart manage to outsmart the beavers and indigenous people are able to reclaim their land. At the dance, Lisa finds out that Clara, her competition is actually Luke's sister. Lisa gets Bart to help her find Clara, who they rescue with the help of some beavers. The family is set to return to Springfield, when they hear a new David Byrne produced song on the radio "The Moe Szyslak Connection" and decide they can afford another week at the ranch.
Bart's tree house is destroyed and the Amish are called in to rebuild it. Because the Amish are master electricians, Bart's new tree house catches fire at its grand opening. Everyone makes it to safety, with the exception of Homer, who is trapped. He looks to the family dog for help, but Santa's Little Helper (SLH) is a coward and only saves himself. It's up to Snowball II to save Homer's life. Snowball II is made a hero in Homer's eyes and SLH is thrown out of the house. The dog park is turned into a cat park and renamed for Snowball II. SLH doesn't look very good in the eyes of his fellow dogs either. Kent Brockman asks Homer about his cat and any other pets he may have and Homer makes the bold statement that "I have no dog." Bart and Lisa look to help SLH regain his status as family dog. Their efforts fail. A passing photographer spots SLH drinking beer from a can that he is balancing on his nose. The photo appears in the paper and the owner of Duff Brewery decides its time to replace Duffman with a dog. The family signs a contract for the brewery's new spokesdog "Suds McDuff." The new campaign is a hit. The family stands to make lots of money, until SLH's original owner from the dog track comes to lay claim to his dog. He uses a tape of Homer's own words against him as proof of his continued ownership of the dog. SLH is being exploited by his original owner. The family comes up with a plan to get their dog back. They find the actor who played Duffman (Barry Duffman) and plan to have him rescue a drowning Homer, when it becomes obvious to the crown that "Suds McDuff" is a cowardly dog. The plan doesn't work, when Duffman turns out to be as cowardly as his replacement. The shark that tried to attack Homer becomes "wasted" on the Duff beer that came out of the keg that Homer was floating on. As a result, the shark becomes the company's new mascot. With his gravy train at an end, SLH's original owner returns the dog back to the family.
At the Springfield Aquarium, Marge accompanies the kids on a school field trip. Lisa spots penguins flying and after Bart has shown off his "flawless pearls," which results in him being taken the hospital, where a lack of insurance card keeps him prisoner. Homer has the insurance card, but is nowhere to be found. As a solution, Homer gets a mobile phone and a few extra unnecessary accessories, which only leads to him not paying attention to where he is driving. That is until it is much too late and he drives off of a pier. Judge Harm takes his license away and Homer is no longer able to drive. Marge picks up the slack and starts becoming "Stresserella." Homer walks to Moe's, but much to Moe's dismay he decide to keep on walking and starts getting healthy. Homer walks to work and is the only employee to arrive, everyone else is caught in a traffic jam. Marge is frazzled from all her driving, meanwhile Homer sings and walks about the virtues of walking when he is stuck by a car; the driver of the car was Marge. Marge, who cares so much for Homer, tries to help in his recovery, but Homer perceives that she might be trying to kill him. It leads to fight, which in turn leads them to see a marriage counselor. After Marge leaves, the counselor suggests that Homer perform one unselfish act of love to win Marge back, in other words take her to dinner. Homer decides to one up that suggestion and invites everyone in Springfield (except the Flanders family) to a backyard barbeque in Marge's honor. Homer joins Jackson Browne in a duet to sing his praises of Marge.
When Marge sees Bart and Milhouse incited to violence after watching an episode of South Park, she tries to turn them onto some good television on the PAX television network. They run out of the room and find themselves outside and bored. After tying a thread to a housefly, that lands itself inside of the Flanders home, Bart and Milhouse find themselves inside the home, unsupervised. They cause some damage and find Ned's collection of Beatles memorabilia. They drink from cans of a 40-year-old novelty beverage and start to get sick. Ned and the boys return to their home to find the house "slightly askew," and they flee to their panic room and call the police. The police arrive and capture the boys and Bart pleads that his parents not be called. The parents are called and as part of Bart's punishment he is sentenced to spending all his time under the supervision of a parent. He is also no longer allowed to play with Milhouse, who Marge believes incites Bart into his bad behavior. Bart joins the "Pre-Teen Braves" and Homer becomes the tribe leader. When Homer fails in his leadership skills, Marge takes over. Marge takes the boys on a nature walk and they meet a Native American who shows them a field that is in need of restoration. The "Pre-Teen Braves" return to the field to begin their clean-up effort, only to discover that the "Calvary Kids" that Milhouse and his father are a members of have already done the job. The two groups go to war and try to outdo each other in doing good. When the opportunity to become batboys at an Isotopes game is on the line, the two sides redouble their efforts for their candy sales. The "Pre-Teen Braves" lace the "Calvary Kids" candy bars with laxatives and believe they are going to win. Only the senior citizens, in a need of relief from constipation, buy the "Calvary Kids" a win. At the Isotopes game, the "Calvary Kids" are delayed from arriving and the "Pre-Teen Braves" take their place singing their version of the national anthem. The crowd becomes angered by the version of the anthem that is being sung and when the real "Calvary Kids" arrive, a fight breaks out between everyone in the crowd. When the image of Marge crying is shown on the Jumbotron, the fighting ends and the sweet soothing hymn of the national anthem of Canada is sung by all present. In the end, Bart and Milhouse sum it up by saying that they've learned that: "War is not the answer--except to all of America's problems."
The family goes to the Springfield Botanical Gardens, where they and the other residents are there to see the blossoming of the Sumatran Century Flower. When his bar is empty, Moe finds out that is where all his customers have gone and he goes to join them. With a capacity crowd plus one on hand, Chief Wiggum has to send someone away and he selects Moe. As a result, Moe is one of the only ones to not be driven out of town by the obnoxious and somewhat lethal (to other plant life) smell of the Sumatran Century Flower when it finally does bloom. The mass exodus from Springfield results in a huge traffic jam on the Springfield Bridge. When traffic begins to move, Homer hits the accelerator, only to have to immediately slam on the brakes, because traffic didn't move that far. The quick stop to family car and the faulty seat restraint that was holding Maggie in the backseat causes her to be launch through the sunroof and over the side of the bridge. She lands in the arms of Moe, who was perched on the side of the bridge ready to commit suicide. Moe becomes a hero. Moe stops by to see Maggie and winds up watching her when Marge needs to care of Grampa, who's out on the street acting crazier than normal. Moe becomes Maggie's fulltime babysitter. Moe entertains Maggie by telling her a story; of course it's "The Godfather" saga. Late in the evening after Maggie's birthday party, where Homer began to learn that Maggie prefers Moe over him, Marge and Homer hear Maggie crying. They go to her room only to find Moe already there calming her down. They forbid him to ever see her again. The next day, Moe is lonely and missing Maggie. That night, outside her window, Maggie overhears Fat Tony and his boys plan to take out the Castellaneta family. She crawls out her window and begins pursuing them. Marge discovers Maggie is gone and they immediately suspect Moe. When Moe doesn't have her and he finds out she is missing, he offers to help. Clues outside Maggie's window reveal that the mob was gathered outside of her window and Moe suggests that they might find her in little Italy. At a restaurant in Little Italy Maggie finds she is in the middle of an "Italian-American Mexican standoff." Moe volunteers to go in and rescue her. He draws the mobster's attention to Maggie which causes them to all go soft. Moe returns Maggie to Homer and Marge and prepares to leave; only Maggie doesn't want him to go. Homer and Marge agree that Moe can have the occasional play date with Maggie, provided he brings along his ham to accompany Homer.
a). "Reaper Madness" Death comes to the door of the Simpson home looking for Bart. A la a Benny Hill chase the family tries to elude Death. Homer kills Death and suddenly the world is without death. No one can die. Homer puts on Death's robe and suddenly finds himself "The Grim Reaper." He starts doing the job until he has to kill Marge. He gets out of the reaper job by pleading with God, but then he "pulls a fast one" on him by substituting Patty's body for Marge. b). "Frinkenstein" Homer gets a call telling him that he's one the Nobel-Prize, only the call is really for Professor Frink. So that his father might partake in the awards ceremony, Professor Frink reanimates his father's corpse. His father's corpse escapes and goes on a spree to collect some body parts. At the awards ceremony in Stockholm the Professor's father tries to make amends with his son for his recent organ harvest, until he sees all the brains filled with knowledge and rampages through the audience. Professor Frink, Jr. stops his father but is able to hold onto his father's soul. c). "Stop the World, I Want to Goof Off" Bart and Milhouse get hold of a stopwatch that actually allows them to stop time. They are having a great "time" and almost get away with it, until they are outsmarted by the mayor. On their run from the angry mob, the watch breaks and they are the only two moving in a world where time has stopped. Despite an easy to follow manual for watch repair, it takes the pair 15 years to get the watch repaired and for things to almost get back to normal.
Marge wants Homer and the kids to watch television. The program she wants them to see is a segment of Kent Brockman's news program called "Oops Patrol." She identified a headline containing a reference to the mayor's "erection," as opposed to his election. For her effort, she wins a t-shirt, which makes her the envy of Springfield. Even Homer is jealous and sets out to win his own t-shirt. Homer tries to find his own funny headline, but instead finds a secret message to him contained in the first character of each row in a newspaper article about a giant pizza. "Homer meet me 4th street overpass midnite." Since it is today's paper, he follows his gut (drags Bart along) and keeps the appointment. His rendezvous turns out to be with his mother. Homer tries to help his mother elude the police, but he brings her right into their hands. Mr. Burns wants Mona Simpson to stand trial for the sabotage she did to his germ warfare lab back in the 1960's. On the witness stand, Homer pleads for his mommy, which the jury grants him. Homer enjoys catching up with his mother and steals a room from Flanders' house, for her new room. Mr. Burns is able to exact some revenge on Mona Simpson, by getting her to confess to falsifying her name at the entrance to national parks, which it turns out is a national offense. Homer laments the loss of his mother yet again. Homer hijacks the prison bus, but his mother wants to keep his involvement in her escape unknown and she does this by throwing him off the bus. She is almost successful in evading capture, until the bus goes through a guard rail, sinks into a lake and is subsequently cover by an avalanche of boulders. At her funeral, Homer loses his mother once again, when her coffin rolls down the hill. There is always a chance she will return as the coffin was found to contain last week's garbage. Homer looks for a message from his mother in the news and finds one that seems to satisfy him, but misses out on the one she's actually left for him in a giant taco article that she is alive and has been eating clam chowder, "Rhode Island style with crackers that keep on coming."
It's Vegas night at Springfield Elementary, where Martin is school class president, and the event is quite a success. Homer wins big and wants his $200,000; but when he and everyone else find out they aren't going to win any real money, there is a riot and Martin is forced to resign. Lisa runs against Nelson for class president. Lisa struggles to fight against Nelson's popularity, she of course all about the issues, while he isn't. Lisa sings her way into popularity that helps her win the vote. The administration is worried about having a popular president, whom is also smart. They start giving her distractions to keep her from knowing about their plans to remove the music, gym and art programs. Lisa is identified as a sellout, but as her last act as president, she gets all the students to go on strike. After several days, Chalmers wants action and he gets Skinner to transfer Lisa to a school for the gifted and troublesome. While it's Lisa's dream to go there, Homer isn't going to pay for it. Lisa returns to Springfield Elementary, where the programs have been restored thanks to the cancellation of flu shots and the selling of loose cigarettes.
Mr. Burns uses his ATM card and gets a $1000 bill. It hits him in the chest and then blows away, right across town and into the Simpson living room window, where Bart gets a hold of it. His parents (well Marge anyway) make him put up a notice so that the owner might have a chance to claim the bill. When no one can identify the bill, Bart wonders what he can do with his new windfall. He realizes that he can make money showing off his bill, so he opens up the "Museum of Modern Bart" in his tree house. Mr. Burns makes his claim for the bill, but all is not lost. Bart has made over $3000 in admissions to his museum. To make use of the money the family decides to go to England, where Abe recalls having a memorable night with a beautiful English girl named Edwina. In merry ole England, the Simpsons meet Prime Minister Tony Blair. Abe tries to find Edwina, meanwhile the rest of the family tours London. Everything is going fine until Homer slams his rental Mini into the back of the Queen's horse drawn carriage. Homer is put on trial, makes an ass out of himself in court and is thrown into the Tower of London. Lisa finds a way for Homer to escape his tower cell, a secret tunnel once used by Sir Walter Raleigh. Unfortunately the tunnel leads to the Queen's bedroom. Homer's pathetic plea with the Queen works and the family is allowed to leave the country, provided they take Madonna with them. Before boarding the plane, Edwina calls out to Abe, and introduces him to her daughter of 58 years, Abbie, a woman who looks like Homer in drag. Abe runs on board the plane as fast as he can.
It is Mother's Day and Homer goes with the kids to Sprawl-Mart to buy Marge a better gift. They find Abe working there as a greeter and Lisa asks her aunts to help them pick out a gift. Patty and Selma recommend the Kitchen Carnival, which makes food fun. Marge likes the gift, which can deep fry, make cotton candy and caramelize anything. Later that night, Homer creates an xx lb. sugar ball and he seems to fall in love with his new creation. Marge insists that he get rid off of the ball, which he takes to the dump. At the dump he gets attacked by a bear. He returns home and finds that his attack was covered by the media. He's been labeled a coward and it begins to affect his life. Too combat his fear he needs to attack the bear that bested him, and he constructs a bear attack proof suit. Marge forbids him from using the suit, but he goes anyway. With help from Lenny, Carl, and Bart, Homer goes out into the woods in search of the bear. Of course when he actually encounters the bear, he is without the suit. The bear takes Homer to his cave and Homer removes the tag from the bear that was causing it discomfort. He bonds with the bear and tries to keep it from being hunted. He lends the bear his bear proof suit and it helps to get him to the wildlife sanctuary, where the bear is free to be attacked by other animals.
Maggie is locked in the bathroom and is eventually freed when Lisa goes against the norm and tries their rescue solution as second time. Then the family hears the doorbell. They find Dr. Hibbert at the door; it seems that SLH had impregnated his poodle and he is turn over the puppies to the Simpson family and making them their problem. Despite a book that says that Homer was taking Homer to have SLH neutered, Homer was never able to complete the deed. They distribute the puppies and Lisa and Bart stop by Krusty's house and give him one of the puppies. Krusty takes the dog for a walk and finds that his star is not included on the Jewish walk of fame. He goes to complain and finds out that he was never Bar Mitzvah, which means he is technically not Jewish. Bart and Lisa take Krusty to see his father, who agrees to help Krusty achieve his goal. As Saturday is the Sabbath, Krusty gets Homer to replace his show on that day. Homer's replacement show is a talk show, with Moe, Lenny meanwhile Krusty works on learning his Jewish traditions. Homer's show has become so popular that the network decides to fire Krusty. Homer's incredibly popular and Lisa wants to put his power to good use. Krusty pitches the FOX network on a new show that covers his Bar Mitzvah. Meanwhile, Homer's attempt to start covering topics based on Lisa's suggestions, but it becomes a ratings nightmare resulting in his cancellation. Meanwhile, on FOX Krusty's Bar Mitzvah is a rating's bonanza, but the spectacle disappoints his father. Later at a real Jewish temple, Krusty has a real, almost serious, Bar Mitzvah.
It's Christmastime and at the power plant Mr. Burns passes out Christmas bonuses, a $5 dollar voucher to the cafeteria. For reasons unknown, Mr. Burns gives Homer a "confectioner's card" for Bart featuring a "current baseballer." The "current baseballer" is Joe DiMaggio and it is his rookie card that Homer brings to the Comic Book Guy, where he gets everything he has in the register for the card. With this financial windfall, the Simpson family goes Christmas shopping at the Springfield Heights Promenade, where the rich people shop. Homer spends the remaining portion of his share of the money for a gift for himself (a personalized talking astrolabe) and has no money left to buy the family a nice Christmas tree. Marge and the kids find out what he's spent the money on and are disappointed in him. Spending the night on the couch, Homer watches "Mr. McGrew's Christmas Carol" and the story works its magic on Homer, and Homer wakes with resolve to be good and unselfish. Homer starts helping the less fortunate and his good deeds begin to make Ned Flanders' jealous. To combat against Homer's good reputation, Ned decides to give everyone in Springfield a Christmas present. Homer decides to outdo Flanders, but on advice from Lisa and her Buddhist view of the world, Homer decides to take everyone's presents. Homer and SLH (a la the Grinch) sneak into everyone's home and take all of their presents. The angry mob finds Homer in downtown Springfield. Ned tries to come to Homer's rescue, but a "star" in the sky saves them both and they return the presents. After Moe's failed annual suicide attempt the whole town joins in a rendition of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing."
Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples And Teens, And Gays
Bart is trying to watch "The Gator Baiter," when Lisa turns the channel to "Dollhouse Do-Overs." In their ensuing scuffle for the remote, the channel is changed to "Roofi," an entertainer that appeals to very small children. To get the TV back Bart suggests that Marge buy Maggie a "Roofi" CD, which Lisa tries to warn him against. The warning doesn't work; Marge fills the house and family car with the sounds of "Roofi," which drives Homer, Bart and Lisa crazy. Marge takes Maggie to an outdoor "Roofi" concert being held at Cletus's farm. The concert turns into a disaster and the babies begin to riot. After paying $1 million in additional taxes to help pay for the damage the babies caused, the single (and other childless) adults of Springfield join SSCCATAGAPP (Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples And Teens And Gays Against Parasitic Parents) and begin to revolt against children. "Children are the future, today belongs to me." Marge takes up the cause on behalf of the children and works to get voter sponsored initiative proposition on the ballot. Marge forms PPASSCCATAG (Proud Parents Against Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples And Teens And Gays). The tobacco lobby tries to endorse Marge's cause, but she won't take their money; however, Mr. Burns signs her petition and others soon follow. Her "Families Come First" proposition #242 gets on the ballot. Homer's attempts to help Marge's initiative, but his kind of help might only hurt it. Bart and Lisa (well Lisa anyway) come up with a plan to get Marge's prop 242 passed. It seems the members of SSCCATAGAPP have no immunity against children.
Milhouse comes over with a Psycho Cycle bike conversion kit, which they use on Bart's bike to make it look cooler. While riding the modified bike, they are hassled by older boys with "big boy" bikes. It makes Bart wish for a ten-speed bike. To get a new bike Bart sacrifices his old bike right in front of Dr. Hibbert's Mercedes. As Dr. Hibbert leaves his Mercedes then runs over Snowball II and Lisa is devastated. Bart and Homer get Bart a new bike, but it needs to be assembled and Homer tries to do his best. The bike falls apart when Bart tries to show it off to the older boys. Later Bart and Homer are watching "Robot Rumble" and the father and son teams inspire Homer to try building a robot for them to enter in competition but Bart leads Homer to believe that Bart thinks he is an oaf. Marge and Lisa look for a new cat and Lisa finds a new one that she calls Snowball III. Homer tries to build a robot, but his result is a failure. Homer looks to his father for inspiration and becomes a robot instead of building one. Bart wakes to find Homer's robot in his room, which is actually Homer inside of large metal shell powered by a tricycle. Lisa finds that Snowball III has drowned in the fish tank. Bart competes on "Robot Rumble," with the robot he's called "Chief Knock-A-Homer," but Homer is nowhere to be found. Homer, hidden inside the robot, manages to win his first match, but only after he receives numerous cuts and bruises. Lisa gets (and quickly loses) a new cat named Coltrane. Chief Knock-A-Homer quickly works his way into the finals, but Bart is sorry that his father hasn't been able to see any of the Chief's victories. The Chief's final match is scheduled to be against Professor Frink and his son's deadly looking robot. Lisa, depressed about her propensity to kill cats, is surprised when a crazy lady leaves her with a new cat. Lisa sees that new cat looks kill proof, and decides to call it Snowball II and forgot the whole dead cat thing ever happened. After the first round of the finals Bart discovers the secret inside of Chief Knock-A-Homer and thinks his dad is even cooler for doing that. The match is stopped in the second round when Homer's presence in the robot is revealed to everyone. The law of robotics saves Homer's life and the Frink robot goes out its way to make Homer comfortable. Nature's greatest killing machine is declared the winner.
Homer compromises the power plant's security system and as a result gets fired. Marge and the kids go to a bookstore and while there she sits in a on a book reading and then asks the author if anyone can write a book. The answer gives Marge an idea. Meanwhile, Homer has gotten a job as a car salesman; but there is an ambulance on the lot that seduces Homer into quitting that job and becoming an ambulance driver. Marge wants to start writing her novel and Homer agrees to watch the kids, while putting in his night shift as an ambulance driver. Marge completes her novel and lets Lisa read it. Seeing one of the characters is hard on her father, Lisa suggests that Marge let Homer read the novel. Homer makes an attempt, fails and tells her that he did. Marge gets her novel published and the kids worry that if Homer ever reads it or sees it as a MADtv sketch, he will be heartbroken. Marge's novel comes out and everyone in Springfield is talking about it. Homer gets the book on tape version, as read by the Olsen twins, and finds out what everyone is talking about. Mad Homer chases after Flanders to do something he should have taken care of a long time ago.
Marge, the kids and Milhouse go to the library where they find there are no longer any books on the shelves. With no books for reference, the kid's reports are in danger of not being able to write their reports. Fortunately, Marge knows some history and relates to the children the following tales: Henry VIII (Homer) tries to find a wife that will bear him a son. Lewis and Clark (Lenny and Carl) get assistance from Sacagawea (Lisa) in their quest to explore the western territories. Mozart (Bart) the musical child prodigy wows them in 18th century Austria, while his sister (Lisa) fights for her own musical identity.
On a school field trip to the Museum of Television and TV Milhouse shows that he has developed a new attitude where he just doesn't care. Meanwhile Mr. Burns has moved Homer, Lenny and Carl to an offsite location (Moe's) so that they don't ruin a visit by the plant's board of directors. Apu and Manjula stop by celebrating their anniversary, making Homer realize he hasn't gotten anything for his anniversary with Marge. He gets extremely drunk and finds himself ‘dancing' on the street where people, thinking he is homeless, start giving him money. Milhouse reveals the secret to his new attitude is the fact that he and his mother are moving to Capitol City, where they are going to get a fresh start. Both Bart and Kirk Van Houten are going to have to learn to get along without Milhouse being around. Bart tries to adapt to a world without Milhouse, especially after a visit to Milhouse in Capitol City makes him realize that things will never be the same. In the meantime, Homer has begun begging as a second job when he realizes he can make good money that allows him to buy Marge an expensive anniversary gift. With Milhouse out of his life, Bart finds himself bonding with his sister and she is enjoying the new relationship with her brother; a relationship that gets tested when Kirk gets "pity custody" of Milhouse and Marge is enlightened by the homeless on Homer's second source of income.
Apu and Manjula are signing up two of the octuplets for Miss Wickerbottom's Pre-Nursery School and after a verbal exchange with Dr. Hibbert, Homer decides they should do the same for Maggie. Because she can't talk, she doesn't pass the initial screening. Afterwards Lisa discovers that even though Maggie can't talk she does show signs of brilliance. Another screening at the pre-pre school shows of her talents and reveals that she has a higher IQ than Lisa. Maggie's new brilliance leaves Lisa searching for a new identity, since she no longer has her status as "the smart one." Lisa tries stand-up comedy, becoming a goth ‘Ravencrone Neversmiles,' cheerleader, rapper, soccer player, cowgirl; none of which workout for her. After she is discovered trying to sabotage her sister's education Lisa leaves home with 2¢ to her name. She decides to stay at the Natural History Museum, where her family is sure to never find her; however Springfield's "finest" do discover her location and they bring the family to help them find her. An accident gets Marge, Bart and Homer trapped in an exhibit and they look to Maggie to get them out, but Maggie's secret to her brilliance is nowhere to be found.
Homer tries to take the kids (Bart, Lisa Rod meanwhile Ned has taken the seniors for ice cream to celebrate Jasper's birthday. With all the kid friendly movies sold out, Homer (on Lenny's recommendation – he's in the movie) takes the kids to see "The Re-Deadening" a horror film that really scares the children. So much so that Bart and Lisa begin hearing noises from the attic. They try to investigate, but their fears scare them out of the attic. They get Homer to lead an investigation into the attic and they find that Artie Ziff has been living there. Ziff tells them why he is living in their attic, his Internet business failed and he's lost everything. He wants to stay there and promises to be on his best behavior until he gets back on his feet. Artie stays, but Marge sees a news report that the SEC is looking for Artie Ziff. Meanwhile, Artie is playing poker with Homer and his friends. Artie puts up 98% of his remaining stock to make a bet and Homer wins the pot, just as the SEC sweeps in to arrest Ziff. Homer (as majority stockholder) is taken into custody. Homer is put on trial and sentenced to ten years in prison. Marge tells Artie that the only reason no one likes him is because he only thinks of himself, which he soon begins to realize and after a night of passion with the only Bouvier sister (Selma) he can have he Ziff turns over his corporate books and Homer is exonerated.
Homer, Lisa and Bart get tickets for the latest chapter of "Cosmic Wars." The movie wasn't what they hoped it would be. Marge suggests that the kids write a letter expressing their dissatisfaction to creator Randall Curtis. Two weeks later when they get a stock letter in reply and they ask if they can go to the "Cosmic Wars Ranch" and complain in person. The family (sans Maggie) goes to Northern California. While Marge and Homer go on a winery tour, Bart and Lisa go to the ranch to find the creator and make their feelings known. After Bart and Lisa have their meeting with Curtis they rejoin their parents, who they find are both drunk on free samples they had at the winery. Marge and Homer are really enjoying their wine together, but following one their nights of drinking Marge finds her with a hangover. They agree that she can stop drinking and they can still have fun together. They go to Oktoberfest and Marge almost gets away with not drinking, but drink she does and they both leave the drunk, with Homer driving. After he drives their car off the road, Homer decides to make it look like Marge (who is somewhat passed out) was behind the wheel. The police arrest Marge; Homer is nowhere to be found at the time and he later bails her out. Barney suggests a rehab clinic for Marge to start attending. Homer finds out that Marge is going to be gone for a month, he asks Flanders to watch the kids while he goes to break her out of rehab. He finds her and confesses his guilt, which makes her angry and she starts drinking again. After some heavy drinking, Marge realizes that it isn't drinking that she liked; it was being together with Homer. She gets Homer and together they leave, after Homer promises to cut out drinking all clear liquors.
The family is at a downtown department store, where among other things Lisa looks at the latest in fashion for young girls, Marge gets some rejuvenating cream, Homer uses the dressing room for something other than trying clothes on, and Seymour and Edna are selecting some wedding china. Bart uses the wedding gift registry to sign himself and his bride "Lotta Cooties" for wedding presents. He invites a number of people to attend his wedding and he plans to return all the unused gifts for store credit. He gets all the gifts delivered but he gets caught by Chief Wiggum. The judge sentences Bart to six months of juvenile detention. Bart tries to find his way at the center, and when Homer becomes a guard, it doesn't improve his situation at all. The boys and girls are brought together for dance lessons, but Bart's partner Gina decides that they have an opportunity for escape and since they've been handcuffed together, she brings him along. Out on the lam together they become attached, even after they've gone to a blacksmith to get their cuffs removed; because when Gina is own her own she knows she has nothing to return to, whereas Bart has a family. When the pair is found, Gina makes a confession that makes it so Bart is free to return to his family.
Principal Seymour Skinner and Ms. Edna Krabappel are finally getting married. Edna has a great bachelorette party at the Simpson house, featuring Duffman and a top-less Chief Wiggum; meanwhile at Seymour's bachelor party at Moe's, he confesses to Homer the fact that he is getting cold feet. When the actual event is about to occur, Edna has second thoughts; feeling that Seymour has never been on board with this whole idea all along. Edna runs from the ceremony. Unknowingly both Homer and Marge are each with the pair in an attempt to get them back together. The attempt fails when the state of Homer and Marge's own marriage gets in the way. Edna returns a gift to the Comic Book Guy. She becomes charmed by his banter and agrees to accompany him to lunch. Homer tries having Seymour serenade Edna, but they discover she's seeing Comic Book Guy. The family goes to Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con to try to keep Edna from making a big mistake. After seeing Futurama creator Matt Groening, they find Edna being proposed to by a Klingon clad Comic Book Guy. Seymour enters wearing a Catwoman outfit and begins battling Comic Book Guy. Edna stops the fight, and tells the pair that neither man is for her. Now Homer must make some amends to Marge to keep his marriage together.
Bart lectures the other students on water balloons and after hitting Lisa with one he gets into a fight with her all the way home. Marge tells the pair that they are going to Dayton, Ohio to celebrate Uncle Tyrone's birthday. Bart and Lisa aren't thrilled with the idea and get to stay home. As a family activity they rent a video, "Love Story" and Bart and Lisa are bored by it such that they ruin any moment the film might have created for Homer and Marge. Homer and Marge look forward to their trip without the kids and on a whim they decide to forgo seeing Uncle Tyrone and get on a plane to Miami. Lisa and Bart are aware that the hotel in Dayton where Marge and Homer were supposed to be staying was wiped out by a tornado. Bart discovers there parents are in Miami. They get Grandpa to take them there. While Bart and Lisa find their parents, Grandpa goes looking for companionship. Marge and Homer see the kids waiting for them so they take off again, only Bart and Lisa are on their trail. Homer and Marge are in Atlantic City when they spot the kids so they go on the run from them in an instrumental musical montage. Meanwhile Abe has found companionship in Miami with a man named Raoul who appreciates his rambling stories. Homer and Marge finally find themselves in Niagara Falls, but the kids are their as well. Feeling a little guilty Bart and Lisa decide to give their parents their space and go to the amusement park only to find their parents are already there. Homer and Marge run from the pair only to find refuge in a giant inflatable castle, which their lovemaking antics cause to fall into the Niagara River. The couple floats toward the falls and certain death only to be saved by their large floatation device. Later back in Springfield, Ned and Rod Flanders receive their credit card bills.
Homer is intrigued by a commercial that talks about a contest that will allow the winner, the finder of a golden ticket, a trip to "Farmer Billy's Bacon Factory." Homer buys a lot of pork products but is only able to find a silver ticket, which allows him to judge the pig competition at the county fair. When Homer sees an injustice being done to Lisa's entry in the place setting competition, he decides to take action. Remembering Chief Wiggum's warning about felony assault, he disguises himself as "Pie Man" and delivers a pie in the face as revenge. He disappears as quickly as he came, making Springfield wonder if they will ever see him again. When Bart gets ripped off by Comic Book Guy, "Pie Man" delivers some "key lime justice." The police decide that "Pie Man" needs to be stopped and they shoot him when he makes his next appearance. He takes time out from his fleeing to save Marge and then kisses her, even though she tells him she's a married woman. Later at home, the wounded Homer makes a promise to Lisa (who's figured out his disguise) that he will stop his pie avenging. When Mr. Burns goes too far, "Pie Man" makes another appearance, but his escape from the plant is thwarted by his own laziness. Mr. Burns turns him into his personal hit man. Homer finds himself in a dilemma when Mr. Burns wants him to deliver a pie in the face of Lisa's Buddhist hero the Dalai Lama. When he comes clean in front of a crowd, no one believes that he was capable of being the "Pie Man," only his family believes in him.
Homer and Bart get into a fight over using a beer bottle to kiss girls which land them in Simpson family court, where Lisa presides as judge. While giving testimony Marge tells the kids that Homer's first kiss was with her in high school. He confesses that it wasn't his first kiss. Back when he was ten he went to camp See-A-Tree (for underprivileged boys). Here he meets Lenny, Carl and Moe. The boys go to the girl's camp where they work in the kitchen. After Homer returns the retainer to the girl who lost it he gets the opportunity to meet her later that night. He tells the kids she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, until he later met their mother. Marge reveals that the girl was her. Marge tells the story from her perspective. At the girls camp, Land-A-Man, we find Marge, Patty, Selma, Helen (Lovejoy), Cookie Kwan. When she met Homer that it was she who first kisses him and then they have the perfect kiss. They agree to meet again the following night, but Homer doesn't show. Marge says it was years before she could trust another boy. Homer explains why he didn't return for a second date. After he left her he fell off a cliff into the lake and drifted to the shores of "Camp Flab-Away," which featured Quimby, Wiggum and Comic Book Guy as some of the overweight campers. Homer manages to escape and gets to Marge's camp, but arrives after she's left. Now that Marge knows the truth Homer hopes for her forgiveness. She doesn't believe he really cared all those years ago, until he pulls the other piece of her broken heart out of his memory box.
It's shot day and Bart tries to evade the needle. Dr. Hibbert manages to get the job done but Bart suffers a side effect of temporary hearing loss from the shot and he takes advantage of it for all it's worth. At Springfield Elementary the annual Donkey basketball tournament is being held. During the playing of The Star Spangled Banner Bart has his shorts eaten by a donkey, leaving his bare ass exposed towards the flag. Martin snaps a picture and everyone present is outraged at this behavior. As a result the Simpson family becomes very unpopular. They go on a cable news channel and only manage to dig themselves into a deeper hole when the host manages to twist Marge's words into saying that Springfield hates America. The negative publicity causes Mayor Quimby to change the name of the town to Liberty-Ville and they make everything patriotic. The family is arrested under violation of the "government knows best act" and they are brought to a reeducation center. The last registered Democrat tells them how they can escape. During their musical number they escape through a tunnel but find they were on Alcatraz. They are rescued by a passing French freighter and taken to France. After being there a while they decide they miss their life in America and go back as illegal immigrants.
Lisa is going to read a poem at the town's celebration of their natural landmark "Geezer Rock," but Homer who believes he is doing the right thing removes a bush from the landmark that causes it to fall apart. Mr. Burns is caught in the landslide and Smithers fears he is lost. Lisa is disappointed that no one got to hear her poem and Marge suggests that she get it published. To Smithers' delight, Mr. Burns has survived the landslide by slithering his way out however; he is annoyed to find out that no one missed him when they thought he was lost. He decides to buy every media outlet in town. Lisa distributes the first issue of her own newspaper the "The Red Dress Press," which is a success. Now she has to get out a second issue and she enlists the help of her fellow children. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns has taken control of all the media outlets in Springfield, except one, her newspaper. Mr. Burns tries to seduce Lisa into selling out but she won't give up. Now Mr. Burns starts to play hardball, he cuts the power to the Simpson home. Principal Skinner offers Lisa the use of an old mimeograph machine, which gets her latest issue out. Mr. Burns talks with Homer to get the dirt on Lisa, that Homer readily supplies and Burns uses this information against her. Lisa is ready to give up and Homer realizing what he's done responds by printing a newspaper of his own. Homer's paper inspires others to think to begin to think for themselves and soon everyone is printing their own newspaper.
We open with an episode of "Keepin' It Kodos" with Kang. In this episode, Kang and Kodos have the Simpson family for dinner with their boss. The meal is a success as Kang gets a hyper-galactic promotion. a). "The Ned Zone" Homer knocks Ned unconscious with his bowling ball, when he recovers he discovers that he was really dying of a brain tumour & the bowling ball lodged it out (which give him premonitions of doom). He tells Homer about his new power and Homer wants to know his future. Ned sees Homer being shot in the back, and the shooter is he. Ned keeps this information to himself and manages to not shoot Homer. He then finds out that Homer is going to cause the destruction of all of Springfield by destroying the plant's nuclear reactor. Ned goes to the power plant to try to prevent the catastrophe. Unfortunately, he had to kill Homer to save everyone (but even through that, Homer accidently fell onto the nuclear reactor button still consious from the bullet & killed everyone in the end). At least, everyone is in a better place. b). "Four Beheadings and a Funeral" The "Mutton Chop Murderer" has taken another victim, and Eliza Simpson and her sidekick Dr. Bartley join with Inspector Wiggum of Scotland Yard to find the killer. The dagger used is the latest crime is found to be one of a set, and they find that the set was owned by C. Ebenezer Burns. They go to the opium den and find that Burns had sold the daggers to a fat man (Homer) to get money for opium. The fat man is caught and sentenced to death, but when Eliza and Dr. Bartley find yet another body, Eliza knows the fat man is innocent and finds an important clue to the real killer's identity on the latest murder weapon. c). "In the Belly of the Boss" At the "New Invention Expo" Maggie gets inside of a new vitamin pill that is going to be reduced by Prof. Frink's new shrink ray. The pill is swallowed by Mr. Burns. The other Simpson family members become bionauts inside a submarine that is miniaturized and sent inside of Mr. Burn's body. Maggie is found, but there is not enough power to get everyone and the submarine out of the body, someone must stay behind, & that person is (drumroll) Homer (again). Everyone else makes it out & Frink announces that there is still a chance to save Homer. Unfortunately, he returns to normal size inside the skin of Mr. Burn's. Then, everyone from all three segments of the episode start dancing.
The house next door is for sale and Marge and Homer go inside to check it out; Marge falls in love with the kitchen. Back at home Marge asks Homer for a new kitchen. Rather than hire someone, Homer decides to do the renovation himself. While demolishing the kitchen, Homer unleashes his old collection of Playdude magazines. He tells Marge he keeps them for the articles; she obliges him by cutting up the magazines, keeping only the articles. Now that they are useless, Homer throws them away, only to have them found by Bart and Milhouse. Using these 1970's era magazines as a model, Bart decides to renovate the Treehouse. After Homer has made a mess of the kitchen remodeling, Marge is finally able to hire a contractor, who completes the job "on-time" two years later for $100,000. Marge's first new dish out of her kitchen gets rave reviews and she decides to enter the Ovenfresh Bakeoff with her Dessert Dogs. At the bakeoff Marge encounters stiff and ruthless competition, so ruthless that Marge resorts to cheating to get even, much to Lisa's dismay. Chief Wiggum and other concerned parents talk with Homer about Bart's spreading the Playdude philosophy to the other children. Homer has a talk with Bart about the facts of life, which a horrified Bart quickly spreads to the other children. Meantime, in the finals for the bakeoff against Brandine, Marge admits to her foul play and Lisa's faith in her mother is restored.
Lisa has a big butt and her friends at school, Sherri, Terri and Janie let her know about it. Homer explains to her about the Simpson butt, it is something she'll have to learn to live with. Bart comes home with 100 on his test, and now he wants to collect on the party that was promised. Lisa is trying to deal with her weight issue, meanwhile Bart gets his party; with his relatives, Ralph, Martin and Milhouse via speakerphone. It's the worst party ever as far as Bart's concerned. It's made worse when Lisa returns home only to be confronted by her mother wanting her to eat a big slice piece of cake, she runs out of the room crying. Marge is bummed that the kids don't appreciate her anymore. She finds Nelson in the park and spends some quality time with him and when her kids continue to shun her, she adopts Nelson as a surrogate child. Lisa tries diet and exercise to reduce her big bottom. Marge brings Nelson home to do some chores around their home, but Nelson's real mother returns that money that Marge paid her son and then she leaves for Hollywood, leaving her son in Springfield and homeless. Nelson goes to the only place where he can find refuge, the Simpson home. Much to Bart's dismay Marge lets Nelson stay in his room. Late one night Bart finds Nelson singing for the return of his father and Lisa overindulging in a cake (she'd previously been starving herself). Lisa gets help from Nelson to get revenge on Sherri and Terri. When the pair returns to the Simpson home there is a surprise waiting for Nelson; Bart has found his father. Nelson is reunited with his father (and his mother who's returned from Hollywood with an acting job). Lisa still hasn't found a conclusive solution to her weight problem.
Famous journalist Chloe Talbot comes to Springfield to cover a scandal involving Mayor Quimby. Chloe Talbot comes from Springfield and she and Marge were journalism students together in high school; Chloe went on to fame and fortune and we all know what happened to Marge. Lisa becomes enamored with Chloe and Marge becomes jealous of loss of her daughter's attention. After a half a glass of wine, Marge goes cuckoo bananas and gets into a fight with Chloe. When Marge won't let her go with Chloe to news conference, Lisa sneaks out and into the trunk of Chloe's car. Everything might have gone according to plan if Chloe hadn't been diverted to cover the eruption of a volcano. Lisa and Chloe get into trouble and it takes a mother's love to affect Lisa's rescue, whereas Chloe's rescue comes from an old high school boyfriend, Barney Gumble.
Bart loses his last baby tooth in a spitball fight. Called the money tooth, Bart is suffering from what he calls a midlife crisis when the tooth fairy has given a gift in his name to the United Way, what his mother calls a "grown-up gift." Bart gives up on his childhood and Lisa suggests that he expresses his feelings in some way and Bart chooses to put them in the form of slogans on a T-shirt. When Goose Gladwell, a gag-gift entrepreneur, sees the slogans he forms a partnership with Bart that begins to make Bart a lot of money. Homer is suspended from work without pay and then decides to quit outright and live off of his son's earnings. Of course he loses his place in the family as breadwinner and starts to lose his self respect. A documentary by Declan Desmond on lions inspires Homer to start focusing on his relationship with Lisa. He decides to help her with her science project about nuclear power, which includes a scale model of the first nuclear power plant. Homer improves on her model by making it functional, something easily done after finding the instructions on the Internet. He sneaks into the power plant and get some plutonium. Meanwhile, Goose Gladwell has sold the rights to Bart's T-Shirts to Disney and Bart won't get a dime from it. To get back into his role as the alpha male of the family, Homer makes use of the working nuclear reactor to threaten Gladwell into giving his son what he deserves and few novelty items for himself. As to whether the reactor actually works or not, Homer decides to leave that up to the seagulls at the city dump to figure it out.
The power plant's office party is being held at the Springfield Air and Space museum, where amongst other things we learn that Agnes Skinner was a wing-walker back in the 1920s. Mr. Burns is acting unusually nice, and then he makes an announcement that the employee prescription drug program has been canceled. Other companies follow suit, the citizens of Springfield At Springfield Retirement Castle, due to the high cost of medication, they cut their residents off cold turkey. Grandpa goes to his son's home with a plan; he has a friend that will help them out. He and Homer go to Canada where they meet the friend that gives them cards that will let them get all the drugs they can carry. They return home and their drugs are in high demand. Ned and Apu accompany them on their next trip to Canada, but an unfortunate incident with Apu and a hot cup of coffee gets their cover blown as they try to cross the border. They are banished from ever returning to Canada. Because he can no longer afford the medication he requires Smithers' thyroid begins to swell causing a concern for Mr. Burns, he doesn't want to have to train anyone else on his filing system. He provides the means, his old wooden plane The Plywood Pelican, for Homer to invoke his plan to fly into Canada. They load up, but on the return flight the plane encounters trouble. Burns bails out, leaving Homer and Grandpa to crash land the plane in Springfield's town square, where their smuggled drugs are hit. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns has cured Smithers and decides to reinstitute the drug program for all his full time employees. Homer comes home from work to report that he is now a freelance consultant, complete with a lump on his throat.
The family is celebrating by having brunch at a fancy restaurant; Homer has finally paid off the mortgage. Lisa and Bart get into a food fight, embarrassing Homer. Homer goes to Moe's, where a visit from the health inspector, results in his death from eating one of Moe's pickled eggs. The new health inspector comes down hard and Moe's is closed until the violations are cleared up. The regulars hold an Irish wake for the demise of Moe's. Homer decides to help Moe reopen his bar; and he gets a new mortgage for their home. When Marge finds out, as a new co-owner she goes with Homer to the bar and tells Moe that there are going to be changes until he pays them back. On Homer's next visit, he finds Marge behind the bar, protecting their investment. She sends him home to take care of the kids, while she sells Moe on the idea of remodeling the place into an English pub. The new place opens and is a success; the kids tell Homer that they've noticed that Marge is spending more time at Moe's than he ever did. Homer becomes worried; but Marge tells him there is nothing to worry about. They go to a movie together, but they are joined by Moe. Homer is more worried than ever; Lenny and Carl tell Homer that Marge and Moe are having an emotional affair. When Marge and Moe are leaving to go to a convention together in Aruba, Homer makes a mad dash to the airport and gets to the airplane as it is taxing down the runaway. He confronts Moe, but Moe makes him realize that he really doesn't know that much about his wife. Homer concedes defeat, but Marge tells Moe that she doesn't love him. She tells Homer that she is totally committed to him. In Aruba, Marge makes Moe realize that he might be able to make a woman happy some day with a few changes. Marge realizes that no one is home watching the kids, but the kids aren't at home as Bart has them entered in a European balloon race.
The family goes to run down Springfield Park, where a carnival is being held to save it. Homer performs a wild crowd-pleasing dance at a local carnival, after beating Bart's performance in a game. Ned Flanders has captured the performance on videotape and Comic Book Guy (Jeff Albertson) puts it up on the Internet. The video gets worldwide attention, much to Homer's embarrassment but his tune changes when a football player wants to buy the rights to use his dance as his own end zone celebration. Homer turns the opportunity into a new lucrative occupation, which prospers as other athletes come to learn from him. Meanwhile Ned looks to create his own wholesome entertainment by creating his own versions of bible stories, which get the backing of Mr. Burns. Marge doesn't like his approach, which eliminates the good aspects of the stories, and only concentrates on the violence. She threatens a boycott, which gets Burns to remove his financial backing, leaving Ned with no creative outlet. The commissioner of football (and all the owners) want to talk to Homer, his teaching of crazy antics to their players have increased their ratings. They want him to choreograph the Superbowl half-time show. Homer struggles for a show idea and on the night before the big show he still doesn't have one. Homer looks for inspiration at the church, but instead finds Flanders, who is looking for an outlet for his ideas. Together they bring the story of Noah to the half-time show, but everyone boos as no one wanted to see such a "blatant display of religion and decency."
Homer's lost the TV remote, which was swallowed by Santa's Little Helper and in the chaos that follows Bart sees a commercial for a rap concert and wants to go. Bart gets permission from Homer, but when Marge finds out and disapproves, Homer quickly changes his position. Bart sneaks out and goes to the show anyway. He is in the front row of the show and when the microphone comes his way he winds up rapping on stage and holding his own. He gets back home only to find out he is going to be in big trouble; to prevent that he decides to fake his own kidnapping. The police are on the case; meanwhile Bart finds Milhouse and hides out in his dad's bachelor apartment. Chief Wiggum decides he needs to do something to improve his reputation as a police officer and puts the clues together to find Bart at Kirk Van Houten's apartment. Wiggum is hailed as a hero and Milhouse's father is in jail. Wiggum has been promoted to Police Commissioner but Bart, feeling guilty about getting his friend's father put in jail, comes clean about faking the kidnapping. Wiggum shows Bart that everyone is better off believing the lie, Milhouse's dad is being worshipped by prisoner loving woman and he gets three square meals a day. Back at the house, Lisa has found a clue that proves Bart wasn't kidnapped. She tries to tell Homer, but he has sold the story to Hollywood. Lisa goes to Principal Skinner for help and the pair begins an investigation that will unravel the lie that is benefiting everyone. Bart takes the other conspirators to rapper Alcatraz's crib to prevent Lisa and Skinner from finding the truth. They arrive too late, only to find out that they know the truth. Bart and Homer try to convince Lisa to be cool about living the lie and a house party ensues.
Bart and Milhouse look for someone new to play tricks on and they find their new victim in Howell Huser, a yokel who just fell of the turnip truck. Their pranks get Howell Huser to stop smiling and he leaves town, only to turn up on the Soft News Network reporting that Springfield is the only town he's been to that he doesn't like. The negative publicity affects tourism. Mayor Quimby calls for the town to give him ideas to promote tourism and Lisa suggests they start allowing same sex marriages. The idea is approved and Springfield becomes the place to be for same sex couples to get married. When Reverend Lovejoy won't perform the ceremonies, Homer can't pass up the opportunity to make money and he becomes a certified minister via the Internet. He marries all the gay couples in town and then starts to marry anything to anything else. Patty requires Homer's service; she wants to marry her partner, Veronica, who is a pro-golfer. Marge has trouble dealing with the fact that her sister is gay. Marge discovers Veronica's secret, that she is really a man. Marge stops the wedding and reveals the secret, and when Leslie Robin Swisher (Veronica's real name) proposes that they still get married, she sticks to her guns, she still likes only girls.
The students of Springfield Elementary are on a field trip to Springfield's Glacier, but when they get there, the glacier is a shadow of its former self. Lisa (of course) blames global warming. While Lisa is calling for action to save the glacier, her brother is taking every opportunity to torment her. Meanwhile, back in town Homer and Marge have gone to Sprawl Mart to do some shopping. When Grampa (Sprawl Mart's greeter) isn't capable of doing his job, goes down, Homer takes over and does such a great job it gets him a full time position with no chance for advancement. Lisa has gotten her revenge on Bart by getting a restraining order against him, he must stay at least 20 feet away from her at all times, or go to jail. Chief Wiggum shows the family a videotape hosted by Gary Busey on how to live with a restraining order. For his part Homer constructs a 20 foot pole that Lisa can use to help keep them apart. It impacts Bart's life at home and school. At family court, after Bart points out some obvious flaws in her character, Judge Harm increases the distance to 200 feet. Having to live at the edge of their property, Bart decides to embrace living the natural way. Homer finds out from his fellow employees how to endure working at Sprawl Mart. And mistakenly feeling that Bart might have changed, Lisa decides to forgive him.
Mr. Burns is taking his driving test and Selma is having hot flashes. Dr. Hibbert diagnoses that she is going through menopause. After seeing a video on the topic hosted by Robert Wagner, Selma is disappointed to learn that she'll never be able to have children. Patty suggests that she try adoption and Lisa suggests China. Only to qualify, Selma needs a husband who must go with her to China to collect their child. She fills out the form with the name: Homer Simpson. Selma flies the Simpson family to China. At Marge's request, Homer goes along with the charade. Under the supervision of Madam Wu, a Chinese functionary, the family, with Marge as the children's nanny takes a tour of the sites. For his occupation, Homer tells Madam Wu that he is a Chinese acrobat, and of course later his services in that capacity are called into action. Selma gets her child, a daughter named Ling Bouvier, only to have her taken away after Madam Wu sees Marge snuggling with Homer. At the airport, Lisa comes up with a plan to get Ling back. Homer poses as a Buddha statue to get inside the orphanage. Only Madam Wu stops them with a tank in Tien An Men Square. Selma appeals to Madam Wu, bureaucrat to bureaucrat and it works. Selma, her new daughter and the family are allowed to leave China via a junk.
Marge takes the kids on a Sunday drive while Homer is at home attempting to clean out the garage. After Homer suffers a garage-door-to-the-throat incident, Marge wants them to buy life insurance. Homer however is deemed uninsurable. Fearing that with no insurance for Homer they will go broke, Marge starts cost-cutting measures. Homer is against these new measures and takes the nest egg that Marge has made and spends it on the down payment for a new motor home. Marge tells him to enjoy being the king of his new castle, because she is no longer speaking to him. Homer is now living in the RV in the backyard and he and Marge try to entice Bart and Lisa to come and stay with them. Homer then opens up the backyard as a RV park, until Marge puts an end to it and they get into a big fight, which makes Bart and Lisa take action. Bart decides they need to take the RV back to the dealer. Homer and Marge try to stop the pair who has managed to get the RV onto the freeway. The RV crashes onto a Turkish container ship, which is leaving port. With the right enticement, mushroom soup, Marge gets the ship to turn around, saving the children and what is left of the RV. The RVs fate is determined when Homer try to put it on the dock.
The family visits Shelbyville and are appalled at the perception those citizens have of the inhabitants of Springfield. Back in town, Marge brings it to the attention of the Springfield Cultural Advisory Board and then asks architect Frank Gehry to design and build a new Springfield cultural center. He sees inspiration in her request and submits a design that is approved by the town. $30 million dollars later, the project is built and it opens and closes quickly as nobody in town really cares for classical music. Mr. Burns agree to take over the space, with his plan to turn it into a state prison. Homer applies for a job as a guard, but fails the drug test after Otto switches their samples. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa follow Snowball II, when they believe the reason she is so fat is that she is getting food from elsewhere; after following her they discover she has another family. Burns needs convicts for his prison and Chief Wiggum blows the dust of some old forgotten laws. Homer is arrested for illegally transporting litter (kicking a can 5 times in a row). In prison Homer inadvertently squeals on Snake's escape attempt and is drafted to becoming a snitch and he begins enjoy the perks that go along with it. Snowball II ("Smoky") enjoys life with her new family and Bart gets into the home to find out; there is plenty of good eating to be found there. Fat Tony and his boys try to find out who the snitch is. They feed Homer information regarding a breakout. While all the guards are outside waiting for the breakout, the prisoners are taking care of their snitch and a riot ensues. The riot is stopped and Homer snitches on the conditions of the prison.
Bart and Lisa find themselves in Prof. Frink's basement and he uses the science of astrology on his new computer to show them their future, eight years from next Tuesday. In this future, Maggie is away on a trip to Alaska; Homer and Marge have separated and Bart and Lisa are getting ready for prom. Lisa's date is Milhouse, who and Bart is dating a skateboard chick named Jenda. Lisa is graduating 2 years early and is going to Yale (now owned by McDonalds) on a scholarship funded by Mr. Burns as punishment for stealing Christmas. Bart is also graduating and is ready to move to the next level of his relationship with Jenda, he wants to marry her but his vision of their future together makes her break it off. Working his part-time job at the Kwik-E-Mart, Bart winds up saving Mr. Burns life while delivering groceries. As a reward Mr. Burns gives him the scholarship that Lisa was to receive. Bart is back with Jenda, now that he has a future, but Bart finds his way back in Prof. Frink's old basement and sees Lisa's bleak future with Milhouse. He does the right thing and keeps her from destroying her life.
Springfield is experiencing an unusually strong thunderstorm, and the rain is causing roofs to leak all over town. Homer devises a unique solution for getting the rain water out of their house that ultimately fails and sends him dejected off to Moe's, where he ruins Lenny's surprise party. Homer goes off wandering and finds himself at a bar called Knockers, where he makes a new friend named Ray, who is a licensed and bonded roofer. Marge takes the kids on some errands while Homer and Ray almost begin the roof repairs; they screw around and never get around to doing any work until he gets called away. Marge wants Homer to fix the roof by himself. Homer runs into Ray at the Builder's Barn and Ray promises to stop by later and help him with the roof. Homer waits for him, but Marge is skeptical that Ray even exists when Ray never shows up. Marge has Homer placed in the mental ward of the hospital and she and no one else can confirm that Ray really exists. Dr. Hibbert recommends and gives Homer electro-shock therapy. Six weeks later Homer's treatments are over and to everyone's surprise Ray turns up at the hospital to celebrate Homer's release. Plausible explanations, even one by Stephen Hawking, are given to explain why no one had ever seen Ray before.
At Springfield Elementary the new vending machine contract is awarded to a company that promises to give half the profits to the school and it is of little consequence whether the snacks are healthy for the children or not. Bart begins taking all of his meals from the vending machine and three weeks later has gained a lot of weight, so much so that he has heart attack symptoms as a result. The X-Ray shows that malted milk balls have blocked his arteries. Despite it all Bart continues to eat junk food. Marge has no choice and holds an intervention, which Bart escapes from, right into the hands of representatives of a maximum security fat camp who take him away. Bart finds himself Serenity Ranch with Kent Brockman, Apu and Rainer Wolfcastle. The first bill from the ranch arrives and Marge decides they need to find a way to pay for it. They open their house up as youth hostel to German tourists. Having a hard time getting through to Bart, Tab Spangler takes him home and shows the horrors his family is enduring on his behalf. Bart finally gets the message and rages against the vending machines and is cured of his junk food addiction, there are three non-refundable weeks of fat camp available for a family member to use. Homer, the obvious choice, is elected to go.
The family tries to eat a total vegetarian meal and everyone except Lisa gets sick from eating the healthy meal. As they moan from the sickness Lisa sings them to sleep. The next morning they've recovered enough to go back to their old dietary habits. On television a commercial airs for a Krusty-sponsored "Li'l Starmaker" competition and Lisa's singing voice seems a natural for the competition. Of course, Lisa and every other child in Springfield signs up. When Clarissa, one of the competitors sings the same song that Lisa was going to sing, and does it much better than Lisa believes she will be able to, Homer reassures her that he will write her a can't lose song. Lisa sings the song and makes it into the final competition. Homer takes charge of her career and writes her more songs that take her into the finals of the competition; it's Lisa versus Cameron, a boy all the girls go crazy over. When Homer oversteps his bounds with his obnoxiousness, Lisa fires him. Homer retaliates by getting himself a new client, Cameron. The final competition begins and Lisa's sings a song she wrote on her own, a song about her relationship with her father. Homer tells her that he was always in her corner and that Cameron is learning the greatest lesson he can ever learn in the music business, don't trust people in the music business.
Bart and Lisa want to start getting their hair cut at the mall. They go to the mall with Homer and while getting their haircut they get into a fight, which results in them each getting really bad haircuts. Out in the mall they are spotted by fellow school students who have cameras in hand. They find Homer and go on the run; they sneak into the back entrance of a movie theater and see the film "Left Behind," which is a movie about the apocalypse. The images in the movie are disturbing to Homer, who fears the worst. Marge assures him that there needs to be some ominous signs before the rapture will come. When Homer is out driving, he sees what he believes to be the signs. Homer gathers some books on the subject and he calculates that the "rapture is nigh" at 3:15 PM on May 18th, seven days from now. He starts to spread the word and tells everyone on television a passage from Revelations 6:13 that says before the rapture "the stars will fall to Earth." At the Springfield Stadium, there is a celebrity filled blimp accident that causes the stars on board to fall to the Earth and Homer gains instant credibility. He gets a bus full of people to join him at Springfield Mesa. When the appointed time comes and goes, Homer loses credibility and everyone return back to their normal lives. Homer later realizes that he made a mistake in his calculation and the new time is only 30 minutes away. When no one in his family will join him Homer goes to the Mesa on his own. The rapture comes and Homer goes to heaven, but despite all that heaven has to offer, Homer needs his family. He gets an audience with God, but when God won't grant his request to have his family join him; Homer begins raising hell in heaven. To put a stop to it, God agrees to turn back time and put off the rapture.
Lisa wins 4 tickets to see a foreign film and Homer gets Flanders to baby-sit Maggie. Flanders doesn't take any money for his effort, but he does need to earn some extra money; Marge suggests that he rent out his spare room. Flanders rents the room to two college age women, who turn the room into the set for their live webcam at www.SexySlumberParty.com. Flanders is unaware of what is going on in is his home, and when Homer finds out he makes sure that every man in Springfield knows about it. When Marge finds out she makes Homer tell Ned and then he finds out that Homer has made him the laughingstock of Springfield. Flanders decides to move to Humbleton, PA., where his favorite figurines are made. Homer mourns the loss of his favorite neighbor and tries to make friends with the new neighbor that has moved in, Clay Roberts, but this new neighbor is obnoxious. Meanwhile in Humbleton, Ned seems in heaven, only for him to live and work there, he must remove his mustache. Ned refuses and is making waves in his new community. When Homer arrives on his doorstep, pleading for him to come back to Springfield, Flanders decides to return.
Bart is given the role of a cooper in the school's medieval festival, while Lisa is the queen. Bart is blamed and expelled when rats come out of large pie that is presented to the queen. Marge looks for a new school for Bart and decides to try out a Catholic school. In his first day at school Bart encounters a tough nun and Father Sean. Bart takes a liking to Father Sean and begins to embrace the Catholic faith, which concerns Homer and Marge. Homer goes to the school with the purpose of taking Bart out of school, only to himself being converted before the night is through. With her husband and son gone Marge finds herself alone at church. Reverend Lovejoy tells her that when they die she and Homer will be going to different heavens. Marge, Ned and Reverend Lovejoy go to Homer and Bart's first communion class to at the very least liberate Bart from becoming Catholic. To bring Bart back to his old religion they take him to a religious festival. Father Sean and Homer arrive hoping to take Bart back, but Bart in one his rare moments of insight brings both sides together, that is until 1,000 years later.
Homer gets into trouble with football gambling debts. As compensation, Fat Tony wants to use the Simpson home for shooting the adult film “Lemony Lickit: A Series of Horny Events.” Homer gets Marge and the kids to leave the house by sending them off to “Santa’s Village.” Marge and the kids return home to find the production is still underway. Marge, outraged by Homer’s latest bit of idiocy, leaves. Homer, home alone with the kids tries to figure out what to do next. Just when Marge is about ready to reconcile with Homer, she encounters Caleb Thorn, a good looking scientist with a passion for saving the endangered manatee. Homer and the kids go on a quest to find Marge and they stop and stay with some “country cousins,” meanwhile Marge is finding herself while helping to save manatees. Homer tries to win Marge back by save a herd of manatees from a gang of jet skiers. His effort pays off as Marge takes home the endangered species of her own, the endangered devoted husband. The family decides to take a mini-vacation and Homer gets a manatee sent to the power plant to fill in for his job for the next few days.
The noise of early morning construction next door is keeping the family awake; there is a new stamp museum under construction. The family successfully leads a protest that gets the stamp museum moved to the site of the old graveyard; the old graveyard in turn is relocated next to the Simpson home. The site of the graveyard outside her window makes Lisa uncomfortable and scared late one night she runs to her parent’s bed for comfort. They try to get her back into her own bed, by showing her that they can sleep in her bed. When that doesn’t work, they resort to the help of a psychiatrist and she offers them some costly advice. Meanwhile Lisa, who has always had to fend for her self, decides to spend the night in the cemetery and conquer her fears. Lisa gets knocked unconscious and has a hallucination helps her to deal with fear.
When Maggie is showing signs of being ill, the family goes to “the more boisterous house of worship” in town to find Dr. Hibbert, who tells them that Maggie is developing the chicken pox. After Maggie develops the disease, Marge tries to keep Homer away from her, since he has never had them. After Flanders expresses an interest in getting his kids infected, Homer and Marge open up the house for a “pox party.” Milhouse’s divorced parents are both at the party and after some “Margerita’s” are consumed, find themselves getting back together. Meanwhile, Homer has developed the chicken pox and Marge tries to keep him from scratching. Milhouse likes the idea of his parents getting back together, but then begins to hate it when he has trouble getting either of them to pay any attention to him. After seeing an episode of The O.C. Milhouse and Bart come up with a plan to get his parent’s separated again, they plant one of Marge’s bras in Kirk rather they break up Homer and Marge. Even after Bart confesses his guilt, Marge doesn’t want anything to do with Homer, since he obviously doesn’t trust him anymore. Bart concocts an outrageous scheme to get them back together, but it goes terribly wrong and both he and Homer find themselves in the river heading toward the falls needing to place their trust in Marge.
It is game six of the World Series and Kang and Kodos decide to speed up the play of the game and they fire the acceleray. They shatter the fabric of the universe and everything is destroyed. a). "B.I.: Bartificial Intelligence" Bart falls into a deep coma from which he will never emerge. Well Bart does wakes from his coma only to find that his family has replaced him with David, a newly developed artificial robot son. Bart struggles to fit back in with his family and Homer and Marge decide they must get rid of one of their sons. They abandoned Bart, but harvesting parts from some abandoned robots he gets his revenge. The robot nightmare only turns out to be a dream when it is revealed that Homer has actually been possessed by the devil. b). "Survival of the Fattest" Homer and others are invited by Mr. Burns to his estate for “A Most Dangerous Game.” It turns out that they are participants on “The World Series of Manslaughter” featuring guest analyst Terry Bradshaw where they are the quarry and Mr. Burns is their hunter. Surprisingly Homer is the last contestant left standing, but it takes Marge’s intervention to even the score. c). "I’ve Grown a Costume on Your Face" It’s the Springfield Semi-Annual Halloween Party but the costume contest goes awry when a real hideous witch turns everyone into real-life versions of their costumes. Lisa, as Einstein, searches for a solution to their problem; but it is up to Maggie, who was dressed as a witch, as the only one with the power to reverse the spell.
The mayor’s estate is used for Springfield’s Easter celebration, and in the course of the events, Homer embarrasses Marge in front of some new potential friends. To make it up, Homer decides to find her some new friends, with little luck. Marge finds some new friends on her own, Tammy and other members of “The Cheery Red Tomatoes,” a group of women of a certain age. This group has plans for a fund raiser; they intend to rob Mr. Burns of 1 million dollars, an amount he once promised to charity. Homer finds out about the plan and tries to stop her from doing something she’ll regret. Meanwhile, Lisa in search of summer opportunities decides to spend the summer in Rome. Lisa tells Principal Skinner that she speaks fluent Italian, since she really doesn’t she tries to take a crash course and winds up hiring a tutor that turns out to be Milhouse.
After being humiliated by Mrs. Krabappel's class, Mr. Burns finally decides to buy a new car, so he orders a Lamborgotti Fasterossa. He sends Homer and his family to the factory in Italy to pick the car up. The family takes a tour of Italy in the new car, but an accident with the car and a cheese truck has the family pushing the car into the town of Salsiccia. They find out that only one person in the town speaks English and it happens to be their mayor. The family goes to meet the mayor and they are surprised to see that it is Sideshow Bob, and he is equally surprised to see them. Sideshow Bob tells them how he came to Italy, become mayor and started a family with his wife (Francesca) and son (Gino). He hopes that the Simpsons will keep the secret of his criminal past, but Lisa’s first exposure to drinking wine leads to loose lips, which sinks his ship. Sideshow Bob, being no longer welcome in his new home, swears a vendetta on the Simpson family. The Simpsons go on the run from Sideshow Bob, who is joined by his wife and son as the vendetta affects their entire family. In Rome, the family discovers that Krusty is preparing to perform the lead in “I Pagliacci.” The Simpsons hide as extras within the show, but Krusty gets tossed off-stage only to be replaced by Sideshow Bob, whose family has the Simpsons surrounded. Krusty and his limo save the day, while Sideshow Bob and his family adjust to their unresolved vendetta.
When Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders are unable to deliver the Christmas sermon, Homer steps in and tells the story of the birth of the baby Jesus (Bart), King Harod’s (Mr. Burns’) attempt to have the baby killed and the creation of the first Christmas tree. Grandpa relates to Bart and Lisa the story of how in the Navy he and his older brother Cyrus were fighting in the Pacific in World War II. During a battle Cyrus’s plane is lost and Abe and Mr. Burns (his co-pilot) crash land their own plane. At Christmastime while awaiting rescue, Burns, anxious to shoot at something, shoots down Santa Claus. Abe and Burns help Santa to rebuild his sleigh (only for Burns to later steal.) After Abe gets it back, Santa promises to come back for a follow-up rescue, but never does. After Abe has finished relating the story to the kids, Santa makes his overdue appearance and takes Abe to Tahiti to be reunited with his brother. The kids at Springfield Elementary perform “Perhaps the worst version ever” rendition of “The Nutcracker” ballet according to Superintendent Chalmers. When it is revealed that you don’t have to pay for the music rights it leads to a montage of citizens of Springfield going about their usual Christmas activities to the more familiar pieces of music from “The Nutcracker,” including a sequence where Moe tries to kill himself, and Homer (forgetting as usual) tries to get Marge her present at the last minute.
The result of Marge's anger against Quimby’s new toll road leads to the discovery of a frozen mailman and his 40-year-old mail. The old mail is delivered to the recipients, including one to Grampa Simpson's deceased wife, and it reveals a secret love affair and who the real father of her baby Homer might be. Confused and emotional, Homer finds Mason Fairbanks, his wealthy and much improved paternal dad, and happily establishes a father-son relationship with him while rejecting Abe, his surrogate father of 40 years, especially after a DNA test reveals that Mason is indeed his real father. Homer joins Mason on an undersea treasure hunt and when Homer’s life is in mortal danger he reflects upon his childhood and realizes who his true father is. When he confesses that to Abe, Abe has a confession of his own.
Bart obtains the key to the steam tunnels under the school and with Milhouse they go down to check them out. When Bart turns just one of the little valves they find in the valve room the chain reaction causes chaos throughout the school. Bart is caught and Skinner wants to send him to a discipline camp in Oregon. When Bart can’t fly there alone, Homer has to drive him there himself and that is going to cause him to miss the trip to Las Vegas that Moe is sponsoring for all his regular customers. While the boys are gone, Marge and Lisa take some of the boys' old stuff and hold a yard sale, but the only things that sell well are their old medications and that gets her into bit of trouble.
Mr. Krupt is the school’s new gym teacher and introduces Bart and the kids to “BOMBARDMENT!” Bart’s attempt to get back at the new gym teacher results in the destruction of Groundskeeper Willie’s shack and the family takes him in. Lisa decides to make Willie the focus of her science fair project and tries to turn him into a “proper gentleman” with surprising results. Meanwhile, Homer has ruined his last pair of blue pants and attempts to generate interest in them so the manufacturer will start making them again.
The family is on a nature walk through “Carl’s Dad Caverns,” when Homer tries to get a piece from a stalactite. This results in the family falling through the cave floor and winds up with Homer getting stuck in the ceiling of one of the lower chambers of the cave. Marge, Bart and Maggie go off to find help, while Lisa stays behind and tells her father a story to pass the time. Her story involves running from a bighorn sheep and into Mr. Burn’s mansion. The pair evades the tenacious sheep by finding refuge in the mansion’s attic, where Mr. Burns tells her the story of how he came to work at Moe’s Tavern by losing a scavenger hunt with a rich Texan. While there he learned (and tells to Lisa) the tale of the Moe’s treasure. The stories within stories culminate in the fate of the treasure being determined in the cave.
The family is at a church fund-raiser, where Homer tries to ensure his rubber duck onto victory, but Flanders wins the big prize, which he doesn’t want and gives it to Marge. In return Marge agrees to watch Rod and Todd while Ned is attending a left-handed convention. While Marge is spending all her time with the Rod and Todd and trying to let them learn how to be boys; Homer takes Bart and Lisa to a home for former celebrity animals and a monkey kidnaps Bart. Marge’s ability to be a mother comes into question when Ned discovers what she is doing with his boys and the local news covers Bart’s current predicament.
Homer is stoked for a party, where Lenny shows off his new plasma screen HD TV. Three days later and Homer still hasn’t left Lenny’s apartment. Lenny eventually gets him to leave and Marge enters them in a contest where they can win a plasma TV of their own. They don’t win, but 3rd place gets them a tour of the FOX studios, where Homer learns about a wife-swapping show where he can win enough money to buy his own plasma TV. Marge agrees to appear and they exchange wives with the Heathbar family. Charles Heathbar winds up falling in love with Marge (who is giving him what he needs), while his real wife Verity finds Homer detestable.
Homer spearheads the effort to get pro-football to bring a new franchise to Springfield. The football commissioner, on his way to officially award the franchise, stops at the Simpson house where Grandpa (mistaking him for a burglar) attacks him. Springfield loses out and Abe becomes the town’s pariah. After trying and failing assisted suicide, Abe decides to live his life without fear and when the town decides to reuse their football stadium as a bullfighting ring, he volunteers to be the toreador. Ever the activist, granddaughter Lisa protests his new profession.
At the power plant a movie is shown where the workers endorse outsourcing and Mr. Burns announces that he is closing the plant and moving the work to India. Homer is the only union employee left on the payroll and he is sent to India to train the replacement workers, when he succeeds beyond expectations, he is given total control of the plant and declares himself a god. Meanwhile, Selma & Patty take Bart and Lisa to their MacGyver convention. When they discover Richard Dean Anderson doesn’t like MacGyver and much as they do, they kidnap him in retaliation. Anderson escapes only to enjoy the thrill and he turns himself back in so that he can escape again. When it happens over and over again, soon Patty and Selma are the ones who need a means of escape.
As the family waits for their food at “The Frying Dutchman,” they pass the time by telling stories. Lisa tells about the Mayflower’s journey to America, where Marge and her kids are Pilgrims and they are joined by a knave named Homer who joins their family to escape the authorities. Bart recounts the story of Mutiny on the Bounty featuring Skinner as Captain Bligh and Bart as Mr. Christian. Homer tells the tale of the maiden voyage of a cruise ship in the 1970s featuring of a ship that can’t flip over, which of course it does and the attempts of the survivors to get out of the ship alive.
A new principal starts at Springfield Elementary after Skinner is fired. She divides the classes up into boys and girls. When Lisa realizes that girls aren’t being taught very much, disguises herself as a boy so that she can attend their math class.
After a spring-cleaning frenzy and inhaling too many fumes, Marge suffers from retrograde amnesia. In an effort to bring back her memory, Homer takes her around town to re-familiarize her with her surroundings. Marge still has no recollection of who Homer is and puts herself back on the singles market. Not until she realizes that Homer is truly genuine at heart will she remember who he is and why she loves him.
After visiting an evolution exhibit narrated by guest star Griffith, Flanders pushes Mayor Quimby to appoint Reverend Lovejoy as a "Mortality Czar" in charge of spreading the theory of creationism. Darwin's theories are quickly outlawed and Lisa finds herself as the only supporter of the scientific theory. After holding secret evolution classes, Lisa is arrested and retains Southern lawyer Wallace Brady (Hagman) to help defend her beliefs in front of a judge. While Flanders is on the stand in court, Homer's antics cause him to crack under pressure and he calls Homer an ape, which leads the judge to believe Homer resembles the missing link - putting a monkey wrench in the prosecutors' case.
After a passionate kiss between Marge and Homer airs on the Isotope Jumbotron, struggling second baseman Buck Mitchell turns to the couple for marital advice. The Simpsons are able to get Buck and his sexy singing wife, Fiona (guest voice Moore), on track, and the Isotopes' season turns for the better. Things seem to be coming up aces for the Simpsons until Buck catches Homer giving Fiona a post-show neck massage, which results in both couples separating.
After Lisa befriends Fat Tony's (Joe Mantegna, reprising his role as Springfield's infamous mob boss) son Michael, Fat Tony invites the Simpsons over for dinner as a sign of gratitude. Shockingly, Fat Tony is shot by a rival family moments after Michael admits he would rather be a chef than take over the family business. Fat Tony's main thugs, Dante and Dante Jr. (guest voices Joe Pantoliano and Michael Imperioli), want Michael to be the new kingpin, but when he declines, Homer steps up and leads the family on a major mob spree.
When Bart turns a quiet funeral into a chaotic mess, his parents are faced with a mob of angry Springfieldians who have had enough. Homer and Marge desperately look to a child psychiatrist for help, who suggests that Bart take up drumming to channel his energy. Before long, Bart is laying down fills like a pro, getting into drum-offs with The White Stripes (guest voices Jack and Meg White), and jamming in a band with Lisas favorite jazz musicians. It doesnt take long before Lisas encouragement turns to deep-seated jealousy, forcing the Simpson siblings to learn how to march to the beat of the same drum.
Hoping to see a new side to Homer, Marge convinces him to buy a refined collection of carpentry books. To Marge's dismay, the books only gather dust until she accidentally breaks a nightstand - and uses the books to fix it herself. Soon Marge is hammering together everything from birdfeeders to doghouses and it isn't long before she decides to transform her new skills into a full-fledged business. Unfortunately, the residents of Springfield don't trust a handywoman to make repairs, so Marge hires Homer to pose as a "front" while she handles the real work. Meanwhile, Bart finds out that peanuts are no longer allowed at Springfield Elementary because someone suffers from an allergy. But this loss becomes his treasure when he finds out that the allergy belongs to his nemesis, the one and only Principal Skinner. Before long, both Bart and Homer are in over their heads and it's up to Marge to nail things back together.
THE SIMPSONS hand out screams and scare up laughs in their annual, bone-chilling Halloween special. The horror starts in Married To The Blob, when a meteor falls to Earth and reveals a green goo that Homer mistakes for a marshmallow. After Homer eats the goo, he turns into a rampaging blob with a never-ending appetite that even guest voice Dr. Phil McGraw cant stop. In You Gotta Know When To Golem, the fright-fest continues when Bart brings Golem, guest voice Richard Lewis as a legendary monster from Jewish folklore, to life and forces him to carry out his ghastly bidding. But when the creature is finally freed of his evil-doing, Marge, Bart and Lisa create a female monster (guest voice Fran Drescher) that captures Golems heart. In the final scare, The Day the Earth Looked Stupid, a fake radio broadcast convinces the residents of Springfield that theyre in the midst of an alien invasion, throwing the town into a state of pandemonium which only worsens when the invasion stops being a hoax and becomes reality.
After Bart gets out of a commitment to join the Army at 18, Homer falls prey to a couple of Army recruiters and lands himself in basic training. Homer, of course, treats it like summer camp and infuriates his hard-nosed colonel (guest voice Kiefer Sutherland) when he is unfazed by the constant hazing and humiliation. Homer is assigned as the enemy of the Armys war games, but when the war games get out of hand and Springfield becomes the battlefield, Homer and the Springfield community must join forces before the city goes up in smoke.
When Homer forgets Moe's birthday, Moe's anger inspires Lisa to write about him for her school report. She finds a poetic side to Moe and helps him get published in "American Poetry Perspectives." However, when Moe is featured at a literary conference, where he encounters Gore Vidal, Michael Chabon, Tom Wolfe and Jonathan Franzen, he takes all the credit despite Lisa's feelings.
After Homer gets fired at the nuclear power plant, he takes over the ice cream truck business, while a depressed Marge creates popsicle stick sculptures to keep busy. The sculptures quickly become popular and Marge is excited to have a purpose in life, until a turn of events divides the Simpsons household.
Homer surprises Marge with a visit to her favorite childhood vacation spot: an island called Barnacle Bay. But when the family arrives, they are shocked to discover Barnacle Bay’s tourism and economy has been decimated by the disappearance of the local delicacy, the “Yum-Yum” fish. After causing some major damage to the boardwalk, Homer is forced to join a fishing crew to work off his debt and a parody of The Perfect Storm ensues.
In an effort to stop Homer from taking revenge on the Rich Texan for cutting him off on the highway, Marge, Lisa and Bart offer up three cautionary tales of revenge. The Count of Monte Fatso: A parody of the book and film The Count of Monte Cristo, in which Homer is cast as the Count. Revenge of the Geeks: Using a futuristic device called the “Get-back-inator,” Milhouse takes revenge on the Springfield Elementary bullies. Bartman Begins: A parody of the Batman origin story, in which Bart is cast in the title role.
After saving Springfield from burning down in city-wide fire, Mayor Quimby awards Bart with a driver’s license. During Bart’s travels to a nearby town, he develops a serious relationship with a teenage girl. Meanwhile, during a presentation at school, Lisa lies about her Native American heritage and when everyone believes her, the lies result in some escalating problems for her.
Principal Skinner decides to allow Lisa tutor Cletus's kids instead of them enrolling into Springfield Elementary, but they end up on Krusty's show as a Musical Act; Bart sees a psychiatrist after pretending that he's possessed by a ghost in an an attempt get free food from the cafeteria.
When the fireproof safe (which was bought after one too many house fires) explodes, Homer and Marge try to recreate the photos, but when one of them uncovers a scandal in the background, Homer decides to join the world of paparazzi - forgetting what happened the last time he had a job that dealt in revealing other people's flaws to the public (in "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?")
Marge becomes a spectacle during a PTA meeting for not having an e-mail address, and she decides to take a chance on using the Internet. Amazed and delighted by all the Internet has to offer, Marge decides to join a popular role-playing fantasy game named "Earthland Realms." To Marge's dismay, the game has her interacting with practically the whole town of Springfield, including Bart, who happens to be the game's most feared and destructive player. Meanwhile, Homer saves Lisa's soccer game from cancellation after he volunteers to take the place of a referee who recently quit. However, Homer's refereeing skills only exasperate Lisa, and her competitive streak gets the best of her.
Bart becomes a hometown hero when he makes the game-winning catch at his Little League game, sending the Springfield Isotots to the championship for the very first time. Meanwhile, Homer runs into some luck, when a customer misunderstands Homer's excuses for a sales pitch after falling asleep in a department store's display bed. The impressed store owner hires Homer as a salesman.
Maggie goes on a path of destruction in the Simpsons home after Marge follows advice in Smothering Mother magazine and throws away her pacifier. Marge finally gives in and sends Homer to get Maggie a new pacifier, but when he can't find the right brand, Maggie comes up with her own substitute: an especially squeaky dog toy. Homer can't sleep through the toy's incessant squeaking and is driven to take sleeping pills, which turn him into a sleepwalker with a penchant for mischief. When one of Homer's sleepwalking schemes leaves the entire Springfield Fire Department debilitated in the hospital, Homer and some of his fellow Springfieldians become volunteer firefighters. They extinguish several fires and are rewarded with gifts, but when the gifts stop coming, they seek other forms of compensation for their heroic acts.
Homer unwittingly drags the family into a cornfield maze after attempting to leave a boring Harvest fest that Marge brought them to. When everyone except Homer escapes, Santa's Little Helper rescues him and becomes the town hero. So the family enrolls him in the Police Dog Academy and after graduation he's teamed with Lou. Police life becomes too much for Santa's Little Helper and he bites Bart. It is decided that he can no longer live with the family. Bart finds a new pet in a python, but in the end, Bart must choose between his dog and his snake.
Principal Skinner opens a CTU – Counter Truancy Unit – at Springfield Elementary School with Lisa heading up the operation. Homer is sent on to dispose a container of yogurt so far past its freshness date that it could be toxic, but the reeking yogurt falls into the hands of Dolph, Jimbo and Kearney. With the help of Jack Bauer and Chloe O'Brian, Bart and Lisa must stop the bullies from releasing the ultimate stink bomb at the school’s bake sale.
When Homer buys the 1,000,000th ice-cream cone at a local shop, he ends up on Kent Brockman's news program. When Brockman swears on live TV after coffee is spilled in his lap, Ned Flanders leads a crusade to clean up Springfield's airwaves, starting with getting Brockman fired. Then Homer once again saves the day.
Comic Book Guy casts Homer as the lead in "Everyman," a feature film based on a new comic book superhero who possesses the ability to take on the powers of every superhero in every comic he touches. To whip Homer into superhero shape, the movie studio hires celebrity fitness trainer Lyle McCarthy (guest voice Rogen), but Homer has trouble sticking to his new healthy regimen
When Mrs. Krabappel confiscates student's cell phones, the class, organized by Bart, decides to teach her a lesson by spiking her coffee and watching her make a drunken fool of herself. Principal Skinner fires Mrs. Krabappel and replaces her with a cool new teacher, Zachary Vaughn, who impresses Bart and his friends with a hip attitude and love of texting, blogging and using Twitter and Facebook. Torn by his affection for Mr. Vaughn, yet plagued by guilt, Bart makes his way to Skinner's office to tell him the truth and get Mrs. Krabappel's job back
The men and boys of Springfield become obsessed with Mixed Martial Arts, a violent sport where fighters inflict severe pain on one another. When Marge and her friends stage a protest, the show's promoter embraces the controversy and challenges Marge to a match, promising to shut down the competition if she wins
In the 20th anniversary of THE SIMPSONS annual "Treehouse of Horror" Halloween special, three chilling tales of Halloween horror unwind. First, Lisa becomes livid with Miss Hoover, and in a series of homages to classic Hitchcock sets out for deadly revenge. Next, Krusty's latest fast-food sandwich transforms news anchor Kent Brockman into an enraged zombie and twenty-eight days later, cannibal zombies have overrun Springfield. In the final frightening fable, Homer accidentally falls through a trapdoor in Moe's tavern and impales himself on the pipes of Moe's microbrewery. Moe serves the barflies a glass of delicious beer flavored with Homer's blood and Homer, now half-man, half-brewing apparatus, returns for vengeance