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An innocent "bunch-up" in Larry's trousers gives rise to a misunderstanding with Cheryl's friend Nancy at the movieswhere Larry also offends the new girlfriend of pal Richard Lewis. During a phone call to Jeff, Larry jokingly refers to his wife as "Hitler," not realizing he's on a speaker phone with Jeff's outraged parents listening in. Larry runs into more trouble when he gives his wife a bogus explanation as to why Jeff has left a message of apology on their answering machinewith comedienne Kathy Griffin unwittingly blowing his cover.
Larry and Cheryl's fun-filled double date with Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen ends badly at the bowling alley, when Larry discovers that someone has taken off with his shoes. The next day Mary calls, and a smitten Larry agrees to go shopping with the actress and her mom at Barney's, and even buys the same jacket that Mary is wearing. Neither Ted nor Cheryl seem amused. Believing that Ted and Mary have invited them to see a Paul Simon concert Saturday night, Larry and Cheryl are chagrined when their new friends never call, ruining their night. Larry thinks it's because he gagged after drinking Mary's mother's water by mistake. Meanwhile, Larry retrieves his shoes from the schmuck who pinched them, but gets into a fight with the shoe salesman who ordered him a new pair.
By not picking up a golf ball that drops out of a bucket carried by a man in a tacky western hat, Larry sets off a bizarre chain of events in which he's forced to attend a party at the home of a porno businessman named Gil, getting lost with Cheryl along the way. The party ends up being a disaster, as Larry refuses to take off his shoes, breaks a lamp, loses his watch, is forced to do a dreaded "double goodbye." Meanwhile, Jeff is hospitalized for emergency bypass surgery and asks Larry to remove the secret porno stash at his home so his wife doesn't find it. While carrying out the favor, Larry discovers a familiar face on one of the video boxes.
Cheryl and Larry get into a fight after she returns from a trip and he's too distracted by a game on TV to greet her properly. To make peace, Larry decides to buy her a bracelet at a jewelry store, but isn't allowed in because of his shabby clothes. After bribing a guy to use his cell phone, Larry calls pal Richard Lewis, who arrives to help--except that the store is now closed for lunch. The pair end up helping a blind man move into his apartment, the jewelry store closes for the night, and Richard ends up coveting the same bracelet that Larry wants to buy.
Larry has some medical problems involving a certain bracelet. No biggy.By politely holding the elevator door for a woman in an office building, Larry ends up losing his place before her at the doctor's office, and is delayed 40 minutes. As a result, Larry ends up missing an important meeting with Diane Keaton. At home, Larry and Cheryl are visited by their interior decorator, who has Keaton's phone number but won't give it to Larry even though the actress called and left her number, which Larry couldn't decipher because of static. Thanks to Jeff, however, Larry is able to go to Keaton's house, where he runs into his decorator, gets into a fight, and breaks Diane's lampthe same type that was in Porno Gil's pad.
Hoping to bury an unsightly telephone wire dangling over their yard, Larry and Cheryl befriend a pair of bizarre neighbors who must approve the burial. The husband is an incompetent lawyer but a big Seinfeld fan, so to appease him Larry arranges to have Julia Louis-Dreyfuss come for a visit. But when the actress arrives, the lawyer is missing; he's been hired to defend Jeff in a case involving a destructive kid Jeff sponsored for a Fresh Air Fund camp. At Larry's house, Julia ends up buying a bracelet from the lawyer's wife -- the same kind Larry wanted in episode 4 -- only to later accuse Larry of stealing it after he buys a similar one for Cheryl.
During a test-drive of Jeff's new "toy", a vintage '57 Chevy convertible, Larry mistakes the horn in an Aamco radio spot for that of an actual car idling behind him at a red light -- and ends up getting the car rammed. Later, hosting a dinner party catered by an unscrupulous woman who ends up stealing the leftovers, Larry meets Mike Duffy, an actual Aamco repairman, who agrees to fix Jeff's car. But Larry's good fortune is short-lived as he ends up alienating Mike by refusing to invite him to his house on Martha's Vineyard.
At the funeral for Cheryl's aunt, Larry offers to use his connections to place an obituary in the newspaper. But when the paper comes out, the "a" in "aunt" has been inadvertently replaced with a "c", and Cheryl's family is convinced that Larry did it on purpose. Further incensed that Larry counseled Cheryl's sister's boyfriend to break off their relationship during the funeral, Cheryl throws Larry out of the house. Larry ends up staying for part of the night at Jeff's, but is thrown out after Jeff's mother accuses him of trying to cop a feel. He ends up begging for a room at the hotel where his sister-in-law's now-ex-boyfriend is staying, but ends up getting thrown out of the hotel as well. It's a good thing his car has reclining seats.
On his way to the drug store to fill a prescription for his wife's itchy skin condition, Larry meets with Richard Lewis, who insists that he and Cheryl come by for coffee after dinner so Larry can make up with Richard's girlfriend. The two then run into a black dermatologist friend of Richard's, whom Larry promptly offends with a tasteless affirmative-action joke. Shocked, Larry forgets to go to the drug store. Later, he loses Cheryl's prescription by giving it to a restaurant maitre 'd instead of a twenty-dollar bill. Now he's forced to try to get a new one from the dermatologist he insulted earlier.
Jeff knows the director of The Vagina Monologues, and suggests that Cheryl (a former actress) should replace an actress who's quitting the cast. Leaving his office, a grateful Cheryl and Larry run into one of Larry's old flames: Lucy Montone, a buxom actress who inspires Cheryl's jealousy.
Living out of a hotel (they were fed up with "the wire" at their old home), Larry and Cheryl make a successful bid on a seaside chateau owned by Jason Alexander's new agent, Jay Schneider. Moving in, however, they learn their new dream home has a disturbing "house sound" of unknown origin. Meanwhile, Larry shocks his wife and friends by deciding to take a job as a car salesman, but is foiled by when "high maintenance" friend Richard Lewis shows up at the dealership. And in (yet) another case of art imitating life, Larry and Jason Alexander contemplate making a new TV series about an actor who can't find work because he's typecast as a "jackass" character from a hit series.
Jeff leaves his wife Susie, and his concerns about his dirty laundry being aired in court filter down to Larry, who becomes obsessed with showing Cheryl how un-kinky he is. Instead, after one of their neighbors takes his casual greeting the wrong way, Cheryl mistakenly concludes that Larry has an ass fetish. Meanwhile, Larry seeks revenge on pro wrestler Thor Olson, who he's convinced slashed his tire following an argument on the road, and recruits Jeff to redress the wrong in return for Larry's delivering Jeff's clothes to the hotel. Larry decides to meet with Jason Alexander about their new show, but the two end up getting into an argument about where to hold their meetings.
When Larry and Cheryl attend the premiere of a movie written by a handicapped friend, Cliff Cobb, Larry offends a Jewish neighbor, alienates Cliff (as well as the memory of his salad-inventing grandfather) and sends misguided romantic overtures to Cliff's wife, Shelly. Later, the Davids experience the "trick" side of Halloween when Larry refuses to give candy to two uncostumed teenagers. Having failed to get a bracelet for his wife on her birthday, Larry makes amends with the perfect gift on a romantic morning, but then Jeff arrives to play a round of golf. In the end, Larry gets revenge on a jewish neighbor and his teenage daughters, by arriving at his home with the orchestra that he used for Cheryl's birthday, as they played the tune that offended this neighbor.
Larry suspects that HBO exec Allan Wasserman has lifted some shrimp out of his Chinese food following a take-out mix-up. Later, when he and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are pitching their new show to HBO, Larry just can't leave the subject of the shrimp alone. The situation isn't helped when Larry's labeled a misogynist after uttering the "c" word at a poker game. As if that's not enough, Wasserman learns from certain "eyewitnesses" that Larry beats his wife.
Larry decides he can't continue seeing his shrink after seeing him wearing a thong bathing suit on the beach. Fellow patient Richard Lewis agrees, and the two plot ways to end their doctor/patient relationship. Meanwhile, Rob Reiner convinces Larry to participate in a celebrity auction to benefit Groat's Syndrome, but Larry ends up turning off the winning "lunch with Larry" bidder.
An acupuncturist agrees to waive his $5,000 fee if he can't cure Larry's back. Coincidentally, a down-on-his-luck writer asks Larry for a $5,000 loan, claiming he'll soon pay the loan off since his wealthy father is close to death. Later, at a not-so-surprise birthday party for the writer's wife, Larry manages to convince the father to cut his son out of his will, but the old man dies before the change is made. That doesn't mean Larry will get his $5,000 back, although he is forced to pay off his acupuncturist, even though his back isn't cured.
Having successfully pitched his Julia Louis-Dreyfus project to ABC, Larry agrees to attend a pair of mini-series screenings at the network starting that night. The young daughter of ABC prexy Lane Michaelson is there, and promptly gets Larry to cut the hair off her beloved rare doll, throwing a fit when she learns that the hair won't grow back. To save face, Jeff and Larry steal the head off Jeff's daughter's doll, incurring the wrath of Jeff's estranged wife Susie. As the ordeal plays out, Larry must also contend with an unlockable bathroom and the call of nature.
Larry is villainized for accidentally tripping Shaquille O'Neal at a Lakers game, but the incident ironically ends up bringing him good luck.
Larry can't believe that the Jewish man who is marrying Cheryl's sister is converting to Christianity. Richard Lewis accused Larry of stealing the outgoing message of his answering machine, and Larry accuses several passengers of stealing his airline tickets.
Cheryl's psychic busts Larry for a naughty massage, and a restaurant owner busts Larry for stealing forks.
Larry and Jeff invest in a restaurant with actor Ted Danson. In lieu of attending his dentist's dinner party, Larry decides to shop for waiters' uniforms, and in the process buys matching shirts for Ted and himself. But after Danson realizes his shirt has a small rip in it, he demotes Larry in The Wizard of Oz scene they're re-enacting for his daughter's birthday party (Larry refuses to switch from the Lion to the Tin Man). At the party, little Jill Danson misses the piñata and hits Larry in the mouth with her bat. Following an emergency visit to his dentist (who learned why Larry had skipped the dinner party), Larry is left with two abnormally large front teeth and one clean shirt that both he and Ted covet.
Nearly five years after the rest of the world, Larry discovers cell phones. Using his new toy, he calls Cheryl and asks her to tell Randy, the chef at Larry's new restaurant, to omit peanuts from the dinner that night because Richard Lewis's girlfriend Deborah is allergic to them. But bad phone reception prevents Cheryl from hearing the message, and Deborah gets sick. A practicing Christian Scientist, Deborah refuses to take medicine to clear up the hives on her face. Richard will not be seen with her at the Emmy Awards that night, so he and Larry concoct a plan to bake a batch of Benadryl-laced brownies for Deborah to eat. The ruse fails, and that night on national TV, the Davids see Joan Rivers lambasting Richard and his none-too-attractive date on the red carpet.
Dismayed in part over the peanut incident, Randy quits his job at the restaurant, and Larry, Jeff and Ted must search for a new chef. Ted suggests they audition his personal chef, but at dinner Larry feels the food "just wasn't that good" and rejects the candidate. Meanwhile, Larry accuses his wife Cheryl of having a crush on a tennis-playing cast member of "Tony a couple refuse Larry's wedding gift because it's more than a year late; and a saleswoman becomes convinced that Larry is stalking her as revenge for her being too aggressive.
Larry, Cheryl, Jeff and Susie encounter a "nanny from hell" whose reign of terror is thwarted by ten sponge cakes. Larry commits a "penis faux pas" after a pool party, and Richard Lewis seeks immortality from Bartlett's Quotations.
A rumored threat of a terrorist attack undermines a benefit performance by Alanis Morissette at the home of one of Larry's friends. Meanwhile, Larry can't help snubbing Mindy Reiser, wife of actor Paul Reiser, during a series of encounters at a restaurant and the perfume shop where she works.
Larry's mother dies while he's shooting a film in New York City, but he doesn't find out until he returns to Los Angeles two days after the funeral. Once he's past the initial shock, Larry uses his loss as an excuse to avoid a number of unsavory invitations. Meanwhile, Richard Lewis accuses Larry of taking back his meditation mantra, and Larry plots to relocate his mother's body at the cemetery.
Over a makeup dinner with the Braudys, Larry openly ponders the question, "When a husband pays the check, do you have to also thank the wife?" Meanwhile, Jeff's return home is ruined by his allergy to the family's corpse-sniffing German Shepherdbut his daughter Sammy refuses to give away the dog. Concerned about his agent's welfare, Larry figures out an ingenious way to give the pooch to the Braudys, who are looking for just such a dog.
Larry is accused of betraying the confidences of Wanda's boyfriend, Crazy-Eyez Killa, a rapper he met at a party. Later, Larry alienates Jeff's wife Susie by declining her house-tour offer. He encounters further problems when he tries to replace a sports jacket Cheryl threw out.
Larry proves himself an unskilled Christmas tipper, while both Larry and Jeff prove incompetent at creating believable alibis for the messes they get in. After offending his housekeeper, Larry makes amends with her at the expense of his wife. Later, Larry attempts to reconcile with Cheryl's family after ruining their nativity scene.
Larry figures out a way to fire a chef, and alienate an important restaurant critic, in the days before his new restaurant is scheduled to open. As Susie stews over a misunderstanding with Larry and Cheryl, the Davids spend some quality time at the car wash. With its grand opening at hand, the restaurant owners hire a new chef with a penchant for speaking his mind.
After going to a Karaoke bar that Mel Brooks is performing at, Mel is so impressed with Larry's singing that he asks Larry to be the star of his broadway show.
Ben Stiller gets upset when Larry refuses to sing "Happy Birthday" to him. Larry then hits him in the eye with a toothpick.
Larry mends fences with Michael by setting him up on a blind date. Jeff admits to a sexual fantasy that peeves Larry; Ben Stiller delivers an ultimatum; and Larry levies a steep accusation against a group of mentally challenged workers.
Larry David has a huge problem with name tags. In the process Larry reveals a bathroom preference that disgusts Jeff. Ted Danson makes another great cameo.
A bag of cashews and rasins threatens Larry's working relationship with David Schwimmer; a dirty locker and a golf club threatens his club membership; Larry gets into a compromising situation with a dog.
To get to a Dodgers game, Larry finds a creative way to use the HOV lane. Then, he finds himself in a bit of trouble when he gets his father medicinal marijuana.
Larry decides to buy a surrogate mother a gift, but it backfires. He tries (and fails) to pass a routine physical and uses it as an advantage.
The purschasing of a video endangers Larry's relationship with his secretary, Antoinette, and almost kills Jeff and Susie's best friend. Cheryl gets medical advice from an unorthodox source.
Larry and Cheryl prepare to renew their wedding vows; Larry mulls an offer from his dry cleaner.
The show travels to New York City as Larry prepares to open on Broadway in "The Producers".
As the Jewish high holy days approach, a near-death experience, coupled with a comment made by his father, leaves Larry wondering if there's more to his identity than he thought. In better news, a sandwich now bears his name, but it's not entirely to his liking.
Larry seeks professional help to secure information about his past. Meanwhile, his place as a gay rights supporter hits a snag.
A undergarment purchase for his housekeeper lands Larry in hot water, while his father-in-law's fondness for The Passion of the Christ comes in handy more than once.
Larry wonders how a Japanese WWII veteran can call himself a kamikaze, and feels a nursing home bingo game may not be on the up-and-up.
When Richard Lewis finds out he needs a kidney transplant, he finds two friends who match him, leaving them to decide who "gets" to give up their organ.
His father's smoking jacket and "bathroom contamination" cause grief for Larry.
Cheryl puts on a Passover Seder, which Larry promptly finds numerous ways to ruin.
Anticipating having to give a kidney to Richard Lewis, Larry tries to develop a contingency plan should he need a kidney donation himself. Meanwhile, a nurse claims Jeff has some shortcomings.
Larry has his jacket borrowed without permission, but he manages to end up the bad guy. Meanwhile, his investigation into what happened to Jeff's missing dog, Oscar, leads him to suspect his Korean bookie.
Larry finally learns the truth regarding his possible adoption, and makes his final decision about a kidney donation for Richard Lewis.
The Davids take in a family whose life was destroyed by a hurricane; Larry comes up with a way to avoid going to parties he has no desire to attend
It's moving day for both the Blacks and the Davids; Larry's prized Joe Pepitone jersey is lost at the dry cleaners; Larry's irked at Ted Danson's anonymous donation; Cheryl is grossed out by a semen stain on a guest-room quilt
Marty Funkhouser is outraged when flowers from his mother's memorial are stolen; Larry complains about "sample abusers" in stores; Jeff and Susie find knowing Larry to be a liability when trying to get Sammy into an exclusive private school
Larry regrets getting Cha Cha a job in his building when she monitors his bathroom habits, and runs into further problems with her when he has to make phone calls 'lefty'; the Blacks and Larry are fed up with Cheryl's environmentally conscious, but uncomfortable, toilet paper; a waiter objects to a doggie bag actually being prepared for a dog
Larry is obsessed with a book about freaks; a drunk limo driver creates trouble; the Davids, Greenes, Ted Danson, and Mary Steenburgen plan to be buried together
A slow toaster makes life tough for Loretta, Leon, and Cheryl; Larry is flummoxed dealing with a deaf woman; the Greenes' exterminator tries to befriend Larry
When Larry snubs a frightened Cheryl's phone call in favor of dealing with a TiVo repairman, she walks out on him, leaving their friends to decide which of the pair to stay true to.
Larry's uncontrolled arousal offends Loretta's Auntie Rae; Larry dates an orthopedist whose personal interactions mimic her professional ones; Larry's quoting of the N-word introduces Jeff to the world of bald discrimination
Larry tries to use Cheryl's therapist to get back into her good graces after getting bad advice from his own; Larry's miffed at Marty's participation level in an Alzheimer's walk
Larry uses Sammy Greene's bat mitzvah to try and clear up a nasty rumor about him; the Blacks announce they're returning home; Larry makes another attempt at dating
Marty Funkhouser cashing in on Larry's empty gesture regarding his mentally ill sister and Susie's dinner party invitation protocols land Jeff in a sticky situation. Fearing the results of Loretta's biopsy, Larry wants to quickly break up with her to avoid having to care for her should it come back positive.
At a dinner, Larry offends yet another of Richard Lewis' girlfriends, this time after finding out she blew Richard in the car on the ride over. Larry hopes to get a doctor to recommend to Loretta that she break up with him.
Larry at long last relents and agrees to a Seinfeld reunion when he realizes it could help him win back Cheryl. Larry's miffed when Jason Alexander refuses to coordinate tips on their separate, but equal, checks and when Lakers tickets given by NBC turn out to be terrible.
Larry makes an enemy of Christian Slater at Ted and Mary's anniversary party and runs into an ex-girlfriend who shows renewed interest in him. Meanwhile, Larry's doctor gives him his personal number and soon regrets it.
Larry, dating a wheelchair-bound woman mostly out of guilt, realizes he gets to take advantage of the perks society affords her as well. Meanwhile, following an argument over picking up a lunch check, he hopes to end a rumor that Rosie O'Donnell can beat him up.
Jerry Seinfeld and Larry are put off by a flabby assistant wearing a shirt that exposes her midriff, and some errant urine from Larry leads her to think a picture of Jesus is crying.
Larry runs 'afowl' of the members and policies at a country club and discovers his mother's headstone was purposefully misspelled by his father to save a hundred dollars.
Larry meets a police officer with the same name as the one from West Side Story and goes to extreme lengths to cover for his friend after Susie finds panties in the glove compartment of Jeff's car. Meanwhile, a friend of Cheryl's competes against her for the role of George's ex-wife in the Seinfeld reunion.
Larry gets irritated by a nine-year old's-emails. Meanwhile, Leon poses as a dead man, and Jerry and Marty become friends while on the Seinfeld reunion set.